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Have I caused my child's problems

(12 Posts)
Exhaustedmumoftwo Wed 11-May-16 09:04:29

Just had the evidence Letter for my son aged 6 to pass to ADHD referral (I'm not convinced it is that) I just feel utterly crap and feel that I've not done enough. Whether it's reading at home homework etc.... I'm a single mum I work full Time and I have a child that doesn't want to engage with anything.

They noted in one morning

Poked himself in the eye X 4
Hitting head on table X 3
Galloping and hitting himself on the bottom X 3
Making raspberry noises X 17
Impulsive noises X 27
Spontaneous inappropriate laughter X 3
Splaying on hands and arms X 4

Is this signs of a child that no matter what I did would behave this way? He is a very loving kind child. He would never be horrible or hurt me he's very much a mummy's boy. But I feel I have failed him

(Doesn't help his brother has struggled with SPLD also so I'm feeling very shit... Would love to have a meeting and hear he's doing fine. No issues.... I know these issues are minuscule compared to other things but I'm hiding in my kitchen crying before I go to work sad

zzzzz Wed 11-May-16 09:49:01

Nothing listed sounds like you could teach it or nurture it in to him.

Be calm. A mum that loves us as we are is the undreamed of dream for the vast majority of people.

Jasonandyawegunorts Wed 11-May-16 11:21:14

Take a few seconds to read your own post, nothing you have listed above is a behaviour normally assosiated with things you could teach him.
Have you ever heard anyone say "he was neglected so begain gallopping around the room smacking his own bum" I'm suspecting not.
He sound quite happy actually.

If you were a terrible mother you would not be in the kitchen crying right now and doubting yourself.

fanjoforthemammaries7850 Wed 11-May-16 11:28:16

My DD does all these. Pokes herself in eye constantly. It's certainly y nothing I have done.

She is very sensory seeking and always seeking sensory input due to being hypotensive. Sounds like he is the same.

fanjoforthemammaries7850 Wed 11-May-16 11:29:20

Hyposensitive is what I typed then phone corrected it.

I meant undersensitive to sensory stimuli

Exhaustedmumoftwo Wed 11-May-16 18:31:56

I'm new to all of this, my eldest child I fought for years as he has the attention span of a fish but my youngest is absolute opposite could someone give more detail into what the hyper sensitive stuff means? I do find he's very sensitive in every situation...

He will run away and hide rather than throw a tantrum,

He's very loving and affectionate tells everyone he loves them blows teachers kissed and cries when anyone leaves (someone he could have known for just 15 minutes) xx could that be something

And socks... We gave a major issue with socks!!! They have bumps apparently c

fanjoforthemammaries7850 Fri 13-May-16 12:02:36

Sorry.. I meant to reply to this ages ago.

I was talking about under (hypo), sensitivity but that can definitely exist alongside being over sensitive too. Have a read about sensory processing disorder and you might get some ideas to help.

There are some good books 'too loud too bright too fast too tight' and 'the sensory seeking child'.

Ideally an occupational therapist could advise too on strategies to help.

Definitely don't blame yourself, you sound lovely.

nonladyofleisure Sat 14-May-16 23:02:04

Thank you for a lovely reply...

If I'm honest, I'm now going through a stage of going.... Is that all kids, or is it just my kid.

It's very hard... I don't notice half this behaviour because he's always done it I suppose.... Like I wouldn't notice a birthmark on him but others would?

I will definitely have a nose at that book. I think it's me that just needs to understand more X ds is just himself X whether he gallops skips or just walks from once side of the classroom I just want him to be happy grin

Ineedmorepatience Sun 15-May-16 09:58:27

Its evidence gathering gone mad!

I can see why they would record any behaviours that could cause him to harm himself but the galloping thing! Wow! Do they really think that is inappropriate behaviour for a child confused

nonladyofleisure Sun 15-May-16 12:21:05

He does this little wiggle bum hitting thing I compare it to when a football player scores a goal. Lol X

MeirAya Sun 15-May-16 18:09:12

That sort of detailed, factual evidence gathering sounds like a good, thorough and non-judgemental assessment.

Bothering to count & describe behaviours very probably means they're caring, supportive, and they don't blame you- it could even mean that the school and NHS want to get it right for your lovely (and happy-sounding) DS

MeirAya Sun 15-May-16 18:10:39

Where was the galloping??

If it's in the playground- sounds fun
If it was assembly, or phonics, maybe it does want addressing grin

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