Does anyone know of any resources to help dc through a break up/divorce?

(8 Posts)
PandasRock Thu 05-May-16 20:50:33

H and I have finally agreed to call it a day (finally on his part, not mine - it's been on the cards for a while, but he has been resisting).

Nothing will happen overnight, as there is much to sort out, but does anyone know of anything that might help the dc get their heads around it?

Dd1 is 11, with severe ASD. She is verbal, can read simp,e stories, but will find it hard to adjust.

Dd2 is 9, and has AS. Classic over thinker, highly anxious, and usually ends up seeing most things as her fault. Obviously keen to avoid that! Also usually buries emotions.

Ds is al last 4, and has ASD. seems more emotionally balanced than dd2, but will probably feel it the hardest, as H has been around at home for a large part of the last year, and so ds feels as though that is the norm.

Any ideas?

OP’s posts: |
PolterGoose Fri 06-May-16 10:39:32

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

PandasRock Fri 06-May-16 10:56:18

Thanks, Polter. I'm ok, thanks. This has been coming for a long time, going right back to when dd1 was small if I'm honest.

We'll all be ok, and while it won't always be easy, I have to keep hold of the thought that it has to be better to live life honestly, and be aware of the impact that stating together in a failing relationship has been having/would still have on the dc.

I will take a look around and see what I come up with, I hadn't thought to look at other disability organisations.

OP’s posts: |
PolterGoose Fri 06-May-16 11:06:12

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

PandasRock Fri 06-May-16 11:14:50

Yes, it will be.

Nothing will change for a little while, as it isn't yet possible to separate - we are in the middle of a major renovation project and so cannot sell up yet. So we haven't said anything to the dc yet.

This is a time to get stuff lined up, try to find the resources and get as prepared as I can.

OP’s posts: |
Malina22 Fri 13-May-16 09:06:12

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

booitsme Thu 09-Jun-16 07:13:52

This is a website for children of separating parents and it is special as children are involved in creating and running it. You can also look on the cafcass website which has some literature.

I'm a solicitor and mediator and the main things you can do are to try and be as amicable as you can with ex especially in presence of children, don't discuss adult issues in front of or with children and tell them over and over they are not to blame. You would be amazed how many children blame themselves when the parents have apportioned no blame and they aren't to blame. They hear parents arguing over an issue related to them and think I must be to blame. By asking for support for your child that speaks volumes about you anyway and how you will handle the divorce.

booitsme Thu 09-Jun-16 07:14:42

Ps if you can't resolve finances go to mediation. It will help you move forward with a co parenting relationship still intact

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