Suggestions for help with aggression

[yippeekiyay2]

My dd is 7 and being assessed for asd (Aspergers). She has ongoing issues at school with work refusal, aggression, regulating her behaviour and emotions etc. which form part of support work she does get (10 hours per week) it is not enough but we are looking to apply for an ehcp shortly. Today she has been 'suspended' from after school and breakfast club, which is run by an external company on the school site, for hitting a member of staff. We are meeting them about this on Friday but I'm deeply worried about this as I will not be able to carry on working if she can't go to the club and there are no other suitable providers in the area. I am currently off work with stress caused by the schools actions just before Easter re safeguarding and I don't know how much more stress I can take. Does anyone have any suggestions of how to support reducing aggression or contacts nationally i could speak to for advice that I could take to the meeting on Friday? Thanks

[Marshmallow09er]

Hi yippee

Sorry that you are having a rough time

There are a fair few of us on here with DC who are prone to aggressive explosions (I'm one of them!)

It's been very helpful for us to read about and use at home and at school PDA strategies (PDA = pathological demand avoidance). There's a section about it on the national autistic website.
We're lucky in that we have had the involvement of a fantastic Ed Pysch who has supported DS's school in these techniques.
It helps if you see the aggression as extreme anxiety (which it is).
DS is very demand avoidant and very behind at school due to refusing to do the work a lot of the time.

The book The Explosive Child by Ross Greene is also very good (and in my area the Ed Pysch team run a training course for schools on it).

The after school club I think can apply for more funding of they feel your DD needs 1-2-1 support.

I totally understand as we went through X 2 childminders and an after school club with DS. If your budget can afford it you could consider a nanny type person who could look after your DD in your home as she might be more relaxed there? If you haven't already think about applying for DLA as this could go towards the cost of someone more 1-2-1.

Hang on in there, you are not alone.

[Marshmallow09er]

Also IPSEA or SOSSEN might be able to offer legal advice

[yippeekiyay2]

Hi thx marshmallow, funnily enough I have the explosive child book at home so I will give it a read today see if anything to take to the meeting. I don't know what the club are going to say at the meeting, problem is they are under no obligation to do anything because they are a private company. We have asked about funding for additional staff before and they have said there would need to be a dx/ehcp for them to do it. I do get dla for dd and would love to have a nanny/childminder instead but we live in a small town and there seems to be no provision like that around...I might try calling one of the organisations you mentioned just to double check the legal situation thx. Just feel overwhelmed by everything atm and stressed about what the future holds. Sick of waiting on dx as well that's been stalled for 7 months by ed psych not arranging their part and slt not finishing theirs!