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meltdowns when out and about - practical help

(5 Posts)
Hedgyhoggy Wed 13-Apr-16 21:53:04

I usually avoid taking ds (6) with ld (3 year old level) to the shops, especially after a day at school but today I needed to go and buy him some nappies and this led to an almighty meltdown. In the shop its running away, lying on the floor kicking and screaming if I try and direct him at all. I then have to pick him up, continuing with screaming and kicking and hair pulling. So this first lot behaviour is a struggle but once back at the car he's hitting me, screaming, pulling my hair out, kicking out. I'm trying to restrain but it just makes it worse. Try to get him fastened into his seat but he slides under the belt, I cant close the door because he opens it. Cant put him in the back with childlocks because his little sister and big bro are in the back and he attacks them (and they've had to witness all this! and Ive had to keep them safe). Cant take him anywhere to calm down because he just needs his own space. He's not always like this, not even usually though he doe generally run off, but he's so unpredictable apart from it being more likely when he's tired. It makes me really sad to think we've got to give up normal things just in case he's like this. I'm tired, sad and my back hurts and feeling a bit lost. Keeping him in the car seat and not opening the door is my key concern here. Thanks for reading

Fairylea Thu 14-Apr-16 18:15:49

I would look into either a special needs car seat like a britax traveller plus - expensive but may be available through either cauldwell children or family fund as a grant in certain situations - or using something like a crelling harness over the car seat (in addition to the adult seat belt) to keep him in. Both of these options would keep him in once place more securely so you didn't have to worry about him opening the door so much.

Do you have a special needs buggy for him? I couldn't live without ours. My son is 4 and has asd and a lot of meltdowns when out and about and I find out buggy so useful for restraining him safely so I can get things done as quickly as possible. I have a Maclaren major through our health visitor - it may be worth asking - but you can also get them on eBay / Amazon / kiddiecare. A special tomato jogger buggy is something I would love to get - they have a huge hood that comes right down to give a "safe space". Might be worth considering.

zzzzz Thu 14-Apr-16 19:57:03

I think you just have to accept that you can't go,or if you must it is going to really hurt him and all of you. The limitations of his disability are going to chaff on all of you. There are always going to be days when you can't protect him or yourselves from that.

soliyellowsun Thu 14-Apr-16 20:41:19

Hello. I know what it's like as I am too a mum of a son with SN. he is now 27 and no longer has meltdowns but Ive definitely walked in your shoes! I am also a special needs teacher so have a load of experience as Ive taught many children with ADHD, Down's and autism. My advice to you is to plan ahead and warn him of any change. If you feel you may need to go to the shops, then either through words or pictures let him know that you're going to the shops but next you're going home. Give a lot of visual cues and little language. The meltdown is a result of limited vocab and that is his way of communicating. Hope that helps a little

honkinghaddock Fri 15-Apr-16 05:58:18

Sn buggy for out and about and crelling harness for the car. i wouldn't take ds without these.

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