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Having CP child planning to go back to work, please advice childcare options

(22 Posts)
Ushamum Mon 11-Apr-16 12:01:50

My only 4yr DS has spastic quadriplegia. Currently he goes to pre-school. Cognitive development and speech is excellent. But physically he needs lots of therapy. He can stand up with support. I worked in IT. Incase if I have to go back to work it should be full time. With my DH salary it is very difficult to maintain financial budgets.Is there anyone working full time with SN child? If so what care option did u chose? Shall I chose au pair or nanny. Please give me tips n advice.

whatamess0815 Mon 11-Apr-16 12:07:28

I had to give up full time work (DV has severe ASD). I now work school hours. Most of my friends with DC with complex needs gave up work or only work a few hours. I don't know anybody with a full time role/career.

There are nanny agencies specialising in children with SN but very costly so it depends on your finances.

I have friends who use au pairs for their NT children. Guess it depends on the child/au pair but I would not consider that myself.

Cakescakescakes Mon 11-Apr-16 15:22:37

I don't know anyone working full time with a SN child. And i know plenty who have given up work completely (including me) as auutable childcare is either impossible to find or too expensive since to make it worthwhile. Do you claim DLA for your Ds and carer's allowance for yourself if not working?

Cakescakescakes Mon 11-Apr-16 15:23:38

Suitable childcare I mean

Ushamum Mon 11-Apr-16 18:26:27

@whatamess0815 Thank you for your advice. I am actually OK to work during school hours, but to be honest getting a job lesser than/out of our expertise isnt easy. But it is really sad to know that mothers of SN child can't work full time though they are capable.
It would be great if you can let me know school hour jobs. Thanks...

@cakescakescakes Yes you are true..getting suitable childcare is very tough and expensive too. But actually in future I am planning for a surgery(SDR) for my son which is very expensive and can b done only in US. But looks like it isn't worth as my earnings will compensate with payment of caregivers. My DS recieves DLA but we use it for his private physio as we are not happy with NHS. I haven't applied for care givers allowance yet. Have to..

Boomingmarvellous Mon 11-Apr-16 19:20:55

SDR is done in the uk. The doctor we know learned in the US.

whatamess0815 Mon 11-Apr-16 19:54:35

OP, school hour jobs are very hard to find. I have an office job but it took me 1.5 years and about 100 applications to find it.

is your are something where you could freelance/go self employed?

whatamess0815 Mon 11-Apr-16 19:55:03

*your area of work

BarbarianMum Mon 11-Apr-16 19:56:18

Not an au pair. They aren't supposed to provide full time care (school holidays) and are inexperienced and untrained, young and have no (enforceable) notice period so can just up and leave. A good nanny perhaps?

Ushamum Tue 12-Apr-16 08:05:25

@Boomingmarvellous It's good to know SDR done in UK. Please give me more details if possible. And how ur child cope up/improvement after surgery? At what age it's been done?
@Whatamess0815 i have been searching for office part time job from 2 years on/off attended single interview but had no luck. I was blogging earlier but with continuous support to be given to my DS I stopped blogging. Trying to become online tutor which needs lots of preparation. I hve worked earlier in IT with reasonable pay. But fully determined to do some thing to become financially independent. No family support need someone to stay at home with me until I get some stability with my finances, without affecting my DSS. Only with my DH salary it's impossible to pay for a nanny sad . At the moment only au pair would be affordable when I am around the house I can depend on her for few hours for my DS .

@Barbarianmum Yes au pair is not well trained. Not a good option when parents are not around. Only thing is affordable. In my case it is temporary option until I get suitable nanny n wel paid job. It's dead lock situation until I get someone to help can't do something..but not possible to find someone without well paid jobs. So confused confused with job types n options and with care options.

whereonthestair Tue 12-Apr-16 08:06:25

Hi, I technically work pt but in my profession that is 35 hours. Dh also works FT. Ds has cp, and had sdr last year.

Before ds was at school he went to mainstream nursery, now we have a nanny. We pay between £10 and £14 per hour gross, for about 15 hours per week. We have had 2 nannies in this time, both sourced through a conventional nanny agency, both with very useful experience (one is in fact a physio from overseas, the other had relevant experience as a result of her family).

It works fine. It is doable, and if you can afford it you may surprise yourself by just looking for childcare the same as everyone else. If you son has speech and is cognitively ok chance are there is someone out there who would work for you and your family.

Btw the nanny who was with us through sdr ( which we had in the UK) was great throughout the post op physio.

Ushamum Tue 12-Apr-16 10:04:03

@whereonthestairs - It sounds great. Finally got someone who is working full time.
Coming to SDR please post more details to proceed in UK. Whom to approach? And at what age it has been done for ur DS.

And about mainstream nursery how much it costs per month. When I enquired it's just double the cost of normal child.
And about nannies, please let me know how did u proceed to get the suitable nanny and through what agency. How did u manage during term holidays? Nannies were working during term holidays?

Sorry for too many questions... It would be great help if could advice. Thank you so much.

Ushamum Tue 12-Apr-16 11:04:01

@whereonthestairs oh I'm sorry I re read ur post. It looks like u worked pt(part time).

whereonthestair Wed 13-Apr-16 07:41:50

Hi. I am part time, but not in the way anyone else would understand it. I work Monday to Friday, and 7 hours a day, I just juggle when those 7 hours are, as I have some flexibility so long as the work gets done.

I didn't pay any more for mainstream nursery ds got 1-1 funding from early years for 25 hours a week, and we just juggled the rest.

I used my local nanny agency, who place nannies in the area. I told them what we wanted nd my nanny does full time holidays (a lot of nannies here do). The idea is that the term time wage covers her living costs etc but she gets the rest as in effect overtime.

We made it clear what we wanted, and the bench did the rest.

WellTidy Wed 13-Apr-16 08:59:21

I work part time and I have a NT child and a child with severe ASD, lots of issues. My DH works more than full time, very long hours.

We have a nanny for the days that I work. She is going on maternity leave, so we are replacing her for that time. I have made contact with SNAP, which is an agency that places therapists, nannies, carers etc for children with special needs and special educational needs. The nanny agencies for children without special needs were not at all confident that they could find us even one possible candidate.

SNAP is expensive, both in the fee you pay to the agency and in the rates they expect their nannies, therapists etc to be paid. But this is the only option for us, as I can't resource other care for DS through word of mouth, recommendation etc.

DS also goes to mainstream pre-school for two mornings a week (we will increase this to three soon) and has a one to one worker there. This is paid for by the local authority.

Ushamum Wed 13-Apr-16 10:43:06

@whereontestairs - Earlier my DS was in nursery, but he got 12 hour funding for his 1-1 support. Could not afford to send him 5 sessions per week. 25 hrs 1-1 support funding is really good. Currently we are on vacation seeking some family support abroad. Once I am back I have a plan to shift him to Pre school which works 9 to 3. Thanks for the info about nannies..chatting here really gives me some positive energy and hope on my carrier.

Ushamum Wed 13-Apr-16 10:57:03

@welltidy - hello, s..SNAP I was just going through internet yesterday about SNAP. Howz your experience with nannies who have special needs experience. I have only DS. When I am not around can I believe the Nannies fully. The only reason I opt for pre-school or nursery there are people around. Patience should be the key for care givers especially with SN child or physically challenged child. When I calculate the cost of nursery and may case nanny cost would b cheaper. Assuming 300 pounds per week for a live out nanny. Where as in nursery per week it costs 450 excluding his 12 hrs 1-1 funding.

cansu Wed 13-Apr-16 20:10:16

I have worked full time with two children with Asd. It was hard but we had crappy childcare and were frequently stretched. I think with a nanny it would be fine. I now work four days and although that is sometimes still hard we make it work. I think it depends on the kind of childcare you can afford really.

Ushamum Thu 14-Apr-16 11:36:08

@cansu - it's food to hear from you. Thank you for your update.

Ushamum Thu 14-Apr-16 11:45:46


LadyDowagerHatt Sat 16-Apr-16 07:00:10

Re the SDR, there is help with funding available if household income is below £45k.

Ushamum Sat 16-Apr-16 09:59:41

Wow...thank you so much for the link provided..this information is really helpful.

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