How and when to tell Grandparents about 2 year old with ASD?

[Laurajay84]

My son is 2 years 10 months, non-verbal and is currently awaiting assessment for an ASD diagnosis. His twin brother is NT and is steaming ahead in everything, something that doesn't go unnoticed among both sets of grandparents, but of course they would never say anything and love them both equally.

The thing is we have never discussed our son potentially having ASD with them, mainly because we didn't know how to bring it up and also because at the same time we got a referral to the pediatrician, my sister also found out she had cancer. My parents were obviously distraught and I didn't feel that they could cope with hearing this news also.

Now it has become the elephant in the room, I feel that everybody realises something isn't right but nobody has ever bought it up.

I desperately need to say something soon but should I say something before or after diagnosis? His appointment is in the first week of May, so time is running out and don't know how to bring it up.

We are still really struggling with the idea that he has ASD and so I'm partly afraid to start talking about it with anyone else because I know I will start crying and make my parents worry more.

Sorry for waffling - any advice much appreciated.

[mary21]

What/about saying that you are a bit concerned that he is developing differently to his brother and you have arranged for him to see the paediatrician in may. At least then the door is open. They will also them know that you are aware or differences.

[Bananasinpyjamas1]

Just tell them, it'll be fine.

[Lollipopstick]

I'm in the same boat. My parents are worriers and it has put me off saying anything to them. DS was diagnosed about a year ago and it seems a bit weird bringing it up now. I wish id said it sooner. DS's behaviour is mild - but he's a bit different so I'm sure they've noticed. One day soon now I'll say it hopefully.