Hi all,
I've been lurking around the SN threads for a while and have finally plucked up the courage to post. I've been worried about my 3.5 year old for a few weeks now. He has always been a bright, happy little boy and I've never had any concerns about his behaviour, but recently his use of language has started to worry me and this has made me notice other things I had previously dismissed as just typical toddler stuff or his own little quirks.
He started speaking early and has a very good vocabulary, particularly for nouns, but recently I've noticed he doesn't seem to understand language that is in any way abstract or expressive. For example, he gets confused by open questions like 'what did you do today?' and will often not answer or say I don't know. However, if you break it down into a series of smaller questions like 'did you play in the garden?' 'what did you have to eat?' he is able to answer these fine. He also gets confused between certain things like which meal is breakfast, lunch and dinner and has difficulty understanding or talking about emotions.
He knows all of his story books off by heart and can 'read' them to you after listening once or twice. He has also started reciting story tapes and TV programmes - this will go on for ages, and when he is doing this he will often ignore you if you try to speak to him.
He has good motor skills e.g. can ride a bike without stabilisers, do a forward roll. In some ways his fine motor skills are good too e.g. very good with lego, but he also seems to avoid certain activities e.g. drawing / crafts, playdough and sometimes doesn't want to feed himself, particularly if tired.
I've always thought his behaviour was ok but recently I had a lightbulb moment that he has few meltdowns because we actively parent to avoid these e.g. give warnings when he needs to stop an activity, try to avoid stopping anything halfway through etc. When he does have a tantrum / meltdown they are quick to escalate and then he takes a long time to calm. However, he does seem to learn from them e.g. we had a big stand off about getting himself dressed (is capable but couldn't be bothered) and now he dresses himself every day with no problem.
He loves going out and playing with other people, particularly children and has always seemed to get on well with others. But he does sometimes have difficulty sharing toys, particularly his own. There are lots of other little things but hopefully this gives an idea.
He goes to private nursery part time and they have no concerns at all but have said they will ask their SENCO to observe him while he's there (although out of the house many of these behaviours are much less marked and he's usually impeccably behaved when outside the home). I've also booked an appointment to see the health visitor. But while I'm waiting for both these things to happen I'm driving myself and my DH round the bend looking at things on the internet and second guessing. My emotions are all over the place and I'm finding things hard with DS as everything he does I'm now over-analyzing.
I would be really grateful for some advice on what I should be asking at the HV appointment, what the next steps might be and if there is anything positive I can do in the meantime - for example any books that others would recommend that might help me help ds with the language / meltdowns regardless of what might be causing them. And maybe a stern talking to that whatever it turns out to be it isn't the end of the world.
Sorry its so long but its helped to get it out there. Thanks in advance.
Here are some suggested organisations that offer expert advice on special needs.
SN children
Advice, handholding and positivity needed - think my 3.5 year old may have Aspergers
Dangermouse1 · 03/04/2016 21:21
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