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How to reward positive aspects of school day without causing more probs?

(7 Posts)
runningouttaideas Thu 10-Mar-16 13:30:48

OK at the moment DS (ASD) is getting into an awful lot of trouble with regards to his written work (SATS are approaching and he isn't performing as he is expected to...in a nut shell he hates tests and everyone keeps referring to them when he isn't doing the work!) among the comments revolving around the fast approaching tests I keep hearing little snippets of information which I see as a massive triumph, take for instance 'xxx started off quite well with his work this am he answered many questions at discussion time but he just isn't giving me enough written work' it has taken my DS 4 years to take part in classroom discussions like that and I am really proud of him yet it is just seen as he still hasn't done enough IYSWIM??

I have heard many other little triumphs (again while they are in the build up of telling me the not so good stuff)and tbh I would like to help him see how well he is actually doing.

How can I take the information which the CT's are telling me and make a big deal of the good stuff without making it look like its OK about the other stuff?

PolterGoose Thu 10-Mar-16 15:10:13

Just praise the good stuff and approach the rest with a 'we'll keep working on it' sort of approach.

I am a parent who was overjoyed when her ds got a detention for telling a child to 'fuck off', this was massive progress from hitting. The rules are different for us.

Ineedmorepatience Thu 10-Mar-16 16:58:13

SATs and the constant whinging about them almost pushed my Dd to the point of a break down! It did push her in to school refusal!!

Personally I wouldnt even mention them outside school I would focus on the fact that he has managed the day at school and rave about the positive stuff!!

amunt Thu 10-Mar-16 21:30:58

SATS results are totally irrelevant to a child's future - they are just a check on schools. So as Polter and Ineedmorepatience say, celebrate the successes and talk about taking some small steps to work on other areas.

StarlightMcKenzee Fri 11-Mar-16 07:22:08

You could tell the school he won't be in for SATS. The mental health damage potential in the run up is not worth it.

runningouttaideas Fri 11-Mar-16 17:29:45

Thanks for the posts.

poltergoose I think that is the way I shall go. I totally get the fuck off being a triumph. DS shouts at the staff at the mo (which I don't think is ideal) but in the past he would kick/push/punch them instead. So that is progress in my mind.

I personally hate SATS and don't mention them (I declared a SATS strike not long ago) if they don't like it they can see me as unsupportive as far as I am concerned its helping DS to chill at home after his not so good days.

PolterGoose Fri 11-Mar-16 17:46:27

I don't have an issue with SATS but I have a huge issue with a year of schooling being wasted on teaching to a test. That is not education. I refused to do any extra work with ds and he refused to attend booster sessions.

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