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4yo won't poo on toilet

(11 Posts)
Stanky Tue 01-Mar-16 18:53:02

Ds has had global developmental delays, which were picked up at his 2 and a half year check. He now has grommets, and his speech has improved enormously. He still didn't have a clue about potty training just after his 4th birthday, but 6 months later he can finally do wees on the toilet and stay dry during the day.

I can't remember the last time ds did a poo on the toilet, and when he did it just seemed to be a lucky catch for us. It's very frustrating now, as we have just sat him on the toilet and kept him in the bathroom for over an hour. He hadn't been all day, and will usually poo at least once or twice a day. He insisted that he didn't need to go, and that he was trying. It seemed cruel, and he was getting upset, so I let him come out and put a pull up on. When we go to put him to bed less than half hour later, he's pooed in the pull up. He does this every time. I'm so sad about it, because soon it's no longer going to be just my problem, but it's going to become his embarrassing problem. We've tried stickers and rewards. He loves to watch videos on my phone, and I've told him he can once he does a poo on the toilet. Obviously we've tried sitting him on the toilet for long periods of time, after meals when he usually goes. I don't understand. I thought that he just couldn't control it, but now I'm thinking that he just prefers to go in the pull up for some reason. His diet is good, and he has never been constipated, his stools are always formed, and he goes at least once a day. I don't know what else to try. He has to wear pants with a sanitary towel at school, at the school's suggestion as they kept having to throw his pants away. We will be seeing the school nurse soon, but I seriously don't know what else to try. I just feel like crying.

Phalenopsisgirl Tue 01-Mar-16 22:41:48

This is very little help but when you say toilet .... A potty may work better as it will position him in a squat position that is more likely to produce a 'result'
Just a thought.

Littlefish Tue 01-Mar-16 22:45:16

Have you looked at the "Eric" website? It has a section all about moving a child on from pooing in a nappy to pooing on the toilet.

Stanky Wed 02-Mar-16 04:24:10

Thanks for your help. We will keep trying. smile

Cakescakescakes Fri 04-Mar-16 21:47:13

I just wanted to send you some encouragement. I was where you are a year ago. Ds (5) now will poo on the toilet at home (nowhere else) if he has something to distract him (eg a fidget toy , watching something on the iPad) I know this isn't ideal but it is amazing compared to where we wer a year ago (all poos in pants). He will get there - just keep plugging away smile

CheckpointCharlie2 Sat 05-Mar-16 08:23:44

A social story could help. And I made some special 'happy poo' (!) stickers for a child yesterday to help with the same issue. You can pm me and I can tell you more! Happy to write you a social story or two as well.

Geneticsbunny Sat 05-Mar-16 09:17:58

Continence nurses are great. Might be worth asking for a referral from your gp. Also my daughter, who doesnt have a disability, pooed in her pants every day for about 3 months when we were potty training her and it turned out that she had a blockage of impacted poo which was stoping her feel when she needed to go (the other poo was going around it). She still pooed regularly and I would never have spotted it if I hadnt read about it on mumsnet. Gave her some laxitives for a couple of days and she pooped out the blockage and hasnt had an accident since.

Stanky Sat 05-Mar-16 13:33:44

Thanks for the replies. We will be making a gp appointment next week. He has so many issues, that it's difficult to know where one ends and another begins, or which combination of problems is causing the toilet issue. Thanks again for your help and support.

hopedance Mon 07-Mar-16 09:43:11

My 4 year old has autism, and we have faced similar battles.

After months of trying, we got to the point where DS really wanted to do a poo on the toilet (to get the reward), but he didn't seem to know how. The length of time sat on the toilet seemed to make very little difference.

I explained to him that his poo has to come down a slide in his tummy before it falls out the end into the toilet, and to make the poo come down the slide, he has to squeeze it with his tummy muscles. Now every night, he sits on the toilet and does 10 squeezes. I hold all my fingers up and put one down for each squeeze. If he doesn't poo, no problem. If he does, we give him a huge celebration. He now manages a poo most nights - at first it was really tricky for him but now he seems to have figured out how to do it. It seems he just hadn't realised the actual physical efforts required to do a poo voluntarily, as opposed to just waiting until the urge hit and doing one in his pants.

Hope you get a resolution OP.

frankiebuns Tue 15-Mar-16 12:50:44

My son has a poo corner at home he is 6 and we cant get him to poo on the loo! We have tried bribary ipad phone toys u name it but no he goes in his corner and does it in his pants school have no idea as he always does it at home but its getting me down his 2 year old sister has got potty training and its now becoming obvious he will still do it

venys Tue 15-Mar-16 23:46:28

Your son sounds similar to mine who also has GDD. He is just about to turn 5. Up until 6 months ago he would poo in his nappy as be was falling asleep which made it difficult to train him. One day OH decided to sit him on the loo before bef and said try and do a big fart and made the noise. We also put a stool under his feet to give him purchase and he sits on a toilet seat insert. It didn't take long before he could poo on command. He then started pooing his pants after school so we take him then and just before bath. He will say poo poo and we have to believe him (otherwise we have to take him at set times to the toilet as he doesn't feel the urge to go). He actually uses poo poo time to hear stories about school or play iPad as its a motivation for him. As for accidents at school, you could use something like Flip training pants which we used for a while. They are expensive though . We have done cloth nappies since birth so it's not a big deal for us. You can ask the staff to put the dirty underwear in a wet bag, throw them in a lidded bucket and after about 4 days, swush the extra poo off in the loo and throw them all in a separate wash with an extra rinse (check cloth nappy threads for how to wash). But yes, talk to. Continence nurses or specialist health visitor about your situation. In our experience, there is hope smile

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