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Why can't school see the progress?

(9 Posts)
confusedofengland Tue 23-Feb-16 16:16:36

DS2 has a few things going on, which basically add up to suspected ASD. He is 4.10, in Reception at the village school with a full time 1:1. School are in the process of applying for an EHCP, as his funds are only until the end of term.

He has a home-school book, which I am finding increasingly depressing to read sad He started school in September unable to read or write at all. He is however very keen & now knows 26 words by sight plus about 40 sounds. He can also draw a person with hands & feet, whereas before he was just mastering a smiley face & no other body parts & a recent physio/OT appointment noted how much progress he had made. I know other DC will have made more progress, but they also don't have DS' SN. But there is rarely anything positive in his home/school book. It is always about how tired he is, how teary he was etc. I just feel like writing back 'I give up' sad I feel like I have to battle to make them like him or be positive about him sad

We have about 5 or 6 assessments & meetings coming up & I find those incredibly difficult to attend, too. Plus the DLA form I plucked up the courage to fill in a few weeks ago was very depressing.

Does this get easier? I'm spending so much time on tears, wishing that others would see something good about my wonderful DS sad

zzzzz Tue 23-Feb-16 18:34:20

Write in the book. "I am finding this SO hard to read every day. I know he is struggling. If there is anything positive could we try to include that too?"

BackforGood Tue 23-Feb-16 19:05:07

I agree with zzzzz
I understand that it makes sense to accentuate the "what he struggles with" in the reports for the EHC Plan, and the DLA claim, working on the principle 'the greater the need, the more support will be forthcoming', but the home/school diary shouldn't be like that.

PolterGoose Tue 23-Feb-16 19:05:46

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

confusedofengland Tue 23-Feb-16 21:08:47

That's a good idea, to ask them to be positive. It just feels like sometimes they see me & DS as a pain, not real people with real feelings sad

zzzzz Tue 23-Feb-16 21:43:43

Part of the work is making people see you, see ds and empathise. It's the bit I find most exhausting and soul scorching. I think it is very very important though.

OneInEight Wed 24-Feb-16 07:48:39

It is very difficult but the one benefit is that it will be evidence for your EHCP application.

ds1 had a home-school book that was a joy to behold. Covered with stickers and smiley faces. Yes, the problems were still in there but there was far more positive than negative. It was set up to share with him and tell him when he was doing things right rather than being constantly told off and it just shows how things can be done properly.

ds2 at the same time had a very negative one which the teacher used to offload her grievances. Admittedly he did cause her a lot of problems but it served only to exacerbate the issues until he conveniently lost it! Interestingly, the home-school behaviour book had been forced onto this teacher to implement whereas ds1's teacher had come up with the idea herself.

I was always very grateful when the teachers told me something positive about the ds's instead of the daily report of their dastardly deeds.

mumsuzz Wed 24-Feb-16 13:26:43

I agree that the benefit will be evidence for the EHCP. My dd's home school book at her old school contained things like "she has had a lovely day today" which didn't tell me anything.

But why don't you organise a meeting with the school SENCO to explain that you (and he) need to also see examples of when things go well and progress that is being made, even if that is slow progress.

Earlyday Fri 26-Feb-16 10:50:44

DS started school last year - age 5 and was diagnosed with high functioning autism. It was such a depressing year as we didn't really realise he had any issues until he started school - then the teacher was constantly stopping us at collection to say he needed to be more gentle in the yard - and that he was having tantrums - and did not seem able for the school work. It was relentless. I remember dreading the teacher asking me to wait back as she needed to have a quick chat.

We're in Ireland so children start their first year in school any time between about 4 and a half or 5 and a half. I think the schools here start off at a slower pace than the UK. They only begin learning single letter sounds at about age 5 - and take it slowly. DS really struggled with learning his letters and I thought he had some learning difficulties or something.

Now he is 6 and in his second year of school and things are much improved. There has been some issues but his teacher said he is only very rarely having tantrums - he is actually doing the work in the class that he is requested to do. Last year he was struggling with reading and maths - but this year the teacher says he is quite strong at them.

Things have been put in place to help DS. An intervention team (S&L, and an OT and a physio) went in to his school and made recommendations. One of the things is movement breaks to improve DS's attention - the teacher includes the whole class in the breaks as they all benefit from it. He is getting resource hours which are focusing on improving his fine motor skills and his writing and his social skills. There is reward systems in place - and he can earn something like a chance to listen to music on headphones if he co-operates and does his work. At the start the teacher always needed to motivate him with a reward but says now that often he does the work without a reward.

Last year DS was rough in the yard because he was a bit confused by the whole thing. He seems to have settled down and the teacher said he is no longer rough at all.

So DS has massively improved because of all the help that's been put in place following his diagnosis.

Your DS's reading and writing sounds much better than my DS's was at that age. DS didn't know any letters never mind sight words. However, at 5 yrs and 8 months DS suddenly started picking up reading quite easily (after I did a huge amount of work on his phonics). Now he is 6 and is reading stage 13 of the Oxford Reading Tree very comfortably now - which is great given that this time last year I was still trying to teach him the individual letter sounds - and wondering would they ever sink in.

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