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I think my parenting has been called into question

(22 Posts)
shazzarooney99 Thu 11-Feb-16 22:18:55

So once again my son kicked off in the supermarket, throwing things everywhere out the trolley, screaming at strangers,swearing, throwing himself on the freezers, throwing himself on the checkout telling everyone to come and kill him, shouting at the top of his voice he was going to kill himself, screaming at the top of his voice the store was rubbish,well not shit was his words. Then we got to the car park he tried throwing himself under a car!!! still screaming at the top of his voice.

Had it all the way home, then got home he tried to get something to kill himself, by which point id had enough, took him to the hospital see if i could get some medication for him.

Anyway 2 woman came in asking all sorts of questions and then basically mentioned a parenting course, saying how it maybe because hes the youngest ect ect because it was controlled because hes ok at school and how his eye contact was fine! My sons eye contact has never been fine, he looks at you for a second and then looks everywhere else.

I actually questioned about the parenting and i was told id done a good job because hes good at school but i just feel like Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh are you having a laugh??

Jasonandyawegunorts Thu 11-Feb-16 22:42:51

Is there a reason you didn't accept the parenting course? In situations like yours it can really be used as the first step on the ladder to get help.

shazzarooney99 Thu 11-Feb-16 22:47:20

I diddnt say i had not accepted the parenting course, maybe its my explaining, I just felt belittled do you know what i mean? hes my 4th child and ive all right with the other children.

We are already under the peadatrician,salt,audiologist and Cahms back and forth although discahrged.

Javabeansaintgeorge Thu 11-Feb-16 22:59:58

Let me get this right you went to a hospital and asked them to medicate your child?

shazzarooney99 Thu 11-Feb-16 23:03:52

I said he needs some medication, of course he does if he wants to kill himself, or do you think thats wrong?

shazzarooney99 Thu 11-Feb-16 23:09:27

Oh and just for reference i took my child to the hospital because he was wanting to kill himself and trying to kill himself.

shazzarooney99 Thu 11-Feb-16 23:15:54

Im sorry im feeling really raw tonight xxx

Mrsrochesterscat Thu 11-Feb-16 23:23:33

Shazza, this sounds horribly traumatic. flowers

I think you did the correct thing in taking him to the hospital. I have an SEN daughter, everytime we met a new healthcare provider or social worker I had the same initial response (until the reports were read). It's wearing and humiliating.

I did attend a parenting course, if anything to say I've done it. I learnt something very important from those lessons - I parent by the book and could have run those sessions myself. It was very empowering.

Are the hospital able to help?

shazzarooney99 Thu 11-Feb-16 23:33:23

The hospital say we will get moved up quickley! whever that happens or not is a different matter! My son is 8, hes been in the system since he was 2 and diagnosed with developmental delay by the health visitor and then with Hypercussis with the Audiologist, and sensory proccessing disorder from a private Occupational therapist. xxxx

I just feel like a complete and utter failure xxxx

OneInEight Fri 12-Feb-16 06:57:18

flowers I hope things have calmed down this morning & that the hospital are right and this will speed up support for your ds.

Jasonandyawegunorts Fri 12-Feb-16 07:56:05

I diddnt say i had not accepted the parenting course, maybe its my explaining, I just felt belittled do you know what i mean? hes my 4th child and ive all right with the other children.

I wasn't questioning your parenting.

zzzzz Fri 12-Feb-16 08:30:03

Has he seen any Drs/paediatrician about his development?

Because HV can "observe" a developmental delay but they shouldn't be telling you they can dx.

I find the term "parenting classes" offensive too angry. Why on earth don't they call it Parental Support?confused

The shopping sounds horrendous. In the gentlest possible way perhaps it's time to accept the supermarket isn't an environment he can cope with and stop taking him? It doesn't have to be forever and you could build back up to it in time.

OneInEight Fri 12-Feb-16 09:06:57

One tip I picked up last week is sunglasses and ear-muffs for supermarket trips. Apparently it has been very successful with a few children to reduce the sensory overload. Worth a try anyway.

birdlover1977 Fri 12-Feb-16 09:25:13

How are you and your son this morning Shazza? It sounds like a very terrifying experience for both of you. I can't imagine what I would have done in that scenario, but I agree you had no choice but to take him to hospital. I have no useful suggestions but I just wanted to let you know you are not alone. I really hope you get the support you both need.

bbkl Fri 12-Feb-16 14:07:38

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

shazzarooney99 Fri 12-Feb-16 16:05:00

Hi guys sorry i have been at work, I y#usually avoid taking him to the supermarket however lastnight i just wanted to pick him up get the shopping done and then get home, i wont be making that mistake again.

This morning he was flapping because he couldnt find his bag, i told him a gazillion times he had left it at school, so i think he will have been flapping in school. Apart from that all was ok.

MeirAya Fri 12-Feb-16 22:16:22

There are some online parenting courses. Ticks the 'yes of course we have' box with minimal effort. wink

Obs2016 Sat 13-Feb-16 16:08:39

Ha ha, I like mrsrochester, I told them recently that I had been on every parenting course I had been asked to. I too had parented by the book. I was asked to help out the other parents on my last course. The irony was not lost on me, I can tell you!!

shazzarooney99 Sat 13-Feb-16 19:21:41

I will have a look for online courses, thanks guys, ive got to do the hanen talkability one and i think thats 12 weeks, between that, the peadatrician, salt and the audiologist it will be hard to get time off work,especially as i work in schools.

MeirAya Sat 13-Feb-16 21:26:49

Hanen will definitely be useful at school (if you're at primary). And it often costs a fortune to send staff on it- get a quote for attendance as a professional, then ask the SENCO if she'll give you the time as study leave "because you're getting this for free"

MeirAya Sat 13-Feb-16 21:35:22

Paediatrician's secretary may be able to tell you if they have any 4pm clinic slots- if so, be cheeky and ask for it. Audiology depends- some places only do one childrens clinic a week. SLT could maybe be flexible - and tbh, it might make more sense for them to see him in school anyway?

shazzarooney99 Sat 13-Feb-16 22:25:53

Slt are fab anyway, we have the most amazing slt and she does alter the appointment time for me which is great, pead appointments are usually always morning as are audiologists.

Unfortunatley for me im not based in one school so cant charge anyone for anything which is a bit of a bummer xxxx

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