Maybe not the best place to post, but I'm wanting some opinions if that's ok.
Ds3 is 5. He's a lovely little thing, usually well behaved, but we have a few concerns which I have contacted the GP about, who has sought advice from the paed, but we're not sure what to do now, if anything.
He has some sensory stuff going on - he's a terrible eater, doesn't like being messy, doesn't like loud noise, doesn't like smells, doesn't like certain fabrics (although all this stuff is fairly easy to deal with as we already do with ds2, and he gets upset and cries rather than having meltdowns)
He doesn't like change, likes things to be predictable, which at home is fine, ds2 has ASD so home life is fairly structured and predictable.
He gets very anxious about things which leads him to become very repetitive, asking the same questions over and over again. When this is particularly bad, he will do this from the moment he wakes up, until finally settling. He can get repetitive about "when's it lunchtime", and we have had success using sand timers.
His sleep is usually fine, but when anxious finds it difficult to settle, and will often be awake til 10pm. (Did this from the beginning of January until this week, those anxieties have settled so he's settling fairly well again).
He needs to know exactly when things are going to happen, you can't say "in a few minutes/hours/days" or it sets off the repetitive questions again. We have a 4 month planner on the fridge, and any events coming up have started drawing pictures so he can work out himself when something is happening, which to a certain extent stops the questions.
He worries about things that happen at school, has said that no-one plays with him, although it sounds like he's not playing because the others aren't doing what he wants to do. This week he is playing with someone because they're playing superheroes.
He takes ages to feel comfortable in new situations. He started nursery when he was three, but wouldn't speak, just sat with the teacher and either cried or looked very sad. We took him out after a few months and he went to a brilliant childminder who said that, given time to find places familiar, he really came out of his shell. If he goes to a party he doesn't join in, or it takes ages to warm up, unless everyone is familiar, then he's fine.
He chews his clothes, but apart from that nothing that I would say is unusual (and even clothes chewing isn't unusual).
No echolalia that I'm aware of, no vocal stims like his 2 brothers, no unusual hand movements.
He lined stuff up as a toddler, but doesn't anymore.
We are a family of people on the spectrum (I have AS, ds1 probably AS, ds2 HFA/PDA, dd has anxiety) so it's easy to miss what is normal behaviour, and what isn't.
I do think there's something, but it feels weird to say that when he's behaviourally ok.
He's very similar to his older brother who has had a private assessment that has identified ASD, OCD and anxiety.
We have books and things that we do that help, and maybe that's enough for him, and we just need to keep an eye on things, but I'm interested to know what others would do if this was their child, and if I'm overreacting by being concerned (which is possible).
I look back on ds1's school years and regret not pushing more for support, or for people to recognise that something was going wrong, and for that reason I'm swaying towards going to see the paed.
On the other hand though, ds3 is not ds1, in the right school with the right encouragement things may go very well and I would regret going through any assessments, which is swaying me towards leaving it.
So, confused and worrying that I'm either overreacting and making a mountain out of a molehill, or ignoring something that I should be dealing with.
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What would you do if this was your child?
17 replies
PhilPhilConnors · 05/02/2016 17:17
OP posts:
PolterGoose ·
05/02/2016 19:33
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PolterGoose ·
05/02/2016 19:34
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PolterGoose ·
05/02/2016 21:09
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