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(6 Posts)
diamondmoon Tue 02-Feb-16 12:42:31

Are your dc with ADHD have difficulty all the time every day. Is home better then school? My ds 7 going to be assessed next month school horrendous 15 suspensions last term but was fine infant school. At mine he has ok times but then bad is really bad. But when he goes to his dad for the weekend he fine but he def scared of his dad when bring told off and me and teachers ignores us all. He wants control. And no is not an answer. He has been very violent at school. He has even got out of school.

birdlover1977 Tue 02-Feb-16 18:28:42

Hello diamondmoon I have been thinking about your ds. I have recently name changed but did comment on your previous posts. I have two sons with autism, but my 9 year old is also suspected to have ADHD. He is MUCH worse at school than home and has also been suspended in the past for hitting out at other kids and kicking school furniture. I think my ds is worse at school because he thinks he can get away with it. I never tolerate violent behaviour and will always give him consequences at home if this happens in school, such as no tv / no laptop/ more homework etc, but it doesn't always work. He is just very impulsive and struggles to control his emotions. He is bullied at school because he is socially and emotionally immature and this causes the violent outbursts.

I think if your son gets a diagnosis he will be entitled to more support at school and will no longer be treated or perceived as 'the naughty boy'. The school will have to help him more. This extra support has really helped my son. He was only formally diagnosed with ASD last June, just after he turned 9, before that the school just treated him as naughty and dealt with everything in response to his behaviour. Now strategies have been put in place to prevent him becoming distressed in the first place. The staff recognise when he is struggling to cope and intervene at that point, BEFORE he has lost control. This has made the world of difference. Of course he still has difficulties and sometimes does have a meltdown, but it is much less now. The extra support has led to much improved behaviour. I hope your son gets this extra support too.

diamondmoon Tue 02-Feb-16 18:55:33

Thanks for reply the school think because no problems in infant school then it's all behavioural. He is on last chance at school as will be expelled. Last incident he threw chair at the head face. He has been one to one in an office since after Xmas only half day. Very slowly time in class for an hour but not going well. He not allowed on playground with all kids just 3 friends. We now doing managed move hopefully soon just to see if new school can help him improve. It will be until Easter as ed psych coming then. My worry it is all behaviour and then he will be expelled and no help give.

birdlover1977 Tue 02-Feb-16 22:40:18

The school may be right. Your ds may just be struggling to manage his behaviour/emotions/anger, and he many not have any underlying condition such as ASD or ADHD. On the other hand, many children with ASD/ ADHD do not get diagnosed until older because of the increasing demands of the curriculum. They can mask their difficulties in the infants but by the time they reach juniors, they can no longer cope. Whatever the answer is you must remember that behavioural problems are still special educational needs because they are affecting his ability to access the curriculum. All behaviour is communication and no child wants to behave in this way. The school should still be willing to find ways to prevent violent outbursts. I am glad he is having a managed move. Hopefully things will be better in the new school when he has a fresh start.

bodenbiscuit Tue 02-Feb-16 22:59:02

My dd3, aged 6 is suspected of having ADHD. Although we don't have a diagnosis yet. She doesn't have violent outbursts but she has a lot of trouble concentrating and sequencing. She already had a diagnosis of dyspraxia.

Your son's outbursts could be the result of his school not addressing his needs properly. It can be very hard to unpick what is going on...

ouryve Wed 03-Feb-16 12:38:23

If he was no problem in infant school, then junior school perhaps need to look at themselves a bit! They don't get to say it's "behavioural" and just wash their hands of him when he never had "behavioural" issues before he went there. before they could ever exclude him, they need to demonstrate that they've taken all reasonable steps to ameliorate his difficulties. (And too bad if that costs them money. Don't ever let them try to make that your problem!)

DS1 was hard work and both school and home. We saw different facets of his behaviour as he most problematic, though. At school, he was a lot more oppositional than at home. At home he was more biddable, but, as we mostly had him home in the evening, when he was tired, hyperactivity was more of a problem.

That conflict did prompt the MH nurse who assessed him to question whether he actually did have ADHD and he did want to discharge us, but the psychiatrist over-ruled his kybosh and took DS1 on, anyhow, as he already had a diagnosis of ASD which, of course, complicates everything.

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