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Juggling asd son and nt son on your own that are very close in age

(8 Posts)
Memeto3boys Tue 19-Jan-16 20:50:55

I am looking to see if anyone's got any advice on my situation. I have 3 dc's. Dcs 1 is at school. Dcs 2 and 3 are only 2 and year old. Dc 2 has autism hates when dc3 tries to interact or play with him or touch his stuff. Dc 3 is desperate to play with dc2 I have tried to distract and play with dc 3 myself but he doesn't want me he wants dc2.
Since December we have been stuck indoors due to all dc's ending up having hand foot and mouth disease followed by me spending last week really ill. Now we are moving in 6 weekish time and also Dh starts a new job on 1st February which makes money very tight. We don't live close to any sort of play centres and near still park is other side of town. So indoors play for the time being is going to have to do. We have lots of games to play like colour bingo animal domino's arts crafts play dough ect we can do. Now I am always in my own as dh works alothe and don't have family close. I am trying to figure out how to play games ect as when we do it dc2 gets upset as he doesn't want dc3 to play. Dc3 gets a bit boustious and ends up doing something that's not what the game is about dc2 ends up in tears. I thought about doing games separate whole the other naps but dc2 no longer naps and am lucky to get a half hour nap out of him.
I know dc2 and 3 need to learn to get in but they are young and one has ASD so it's something we will work on more and more as they get on and understand. I just want any ideas on what I could do in the mean time to break up the boredom and fustration of not getting out much without causing more distress.

Memeto3boys Tue 19-Jan-16 20:52:36

I ment dc3 only naps for half hour.

zzzzz Tue 19-Jan-16 21:13:11

I think the key is always to have places that the older children can play where the younger are not allowed. At one point my older children were allowed to play on the table grin. My experience was that this happened with every child not just my child with ASD. One year olds a dreadfully clumsy demanding and unreasonable.

My best tip is you are allowed to think of other things while you deal with it all and that in hindsight my younger child was the best therapist I could ever have got for ds. He got to see and sometimes go through all the stages again and then as she overtook she dragged him forward too. Bloody hard work but SO worth it.

Memeto3boys Wed 20-Jan-16 11:52:25

Thanks for your reply. Dh doesn't start work today till 1.30 so managed to have a walk to town with them. They both had some Christmas money left so got a little toy each and both seem happy today.
We don't have the space in the house to have a separate area it's one of the main reasons we are moving we have out grown this house. Once we move we will have more family space and a garden they can play in.
I keep reminding myself it's temporary. I just get uptight when hv not happy as I don't attend baby groups but we would have to get taxis there and back and at £6 each way which mounts up I need to save any money I can to cover moving costs at the moment and the fact Dh once he starts his new job will move from weekly to monthly pay.
I know what you mean in the last few months my 2 year old has being trying and doing so much more after watching the one year old do it. I think he's exactly what he needs although I don't think he sees it that way. smile

zzzzz Wed 20-Jan-16 11:57:14

To be honest sometimes I think the irritation stopped ds from totally controlling our lives.

It does get SO much easier. Hang in there and take lots of photos because I have almost nothing of those times now as I was always running.

Pythonesque Wed 20-Jan-16 22:20:15

If the HV wants you to attend baby groups, make it clear that you would if you had affordable transport. Throw the problem back to the HV to work out a solution.

Agree though, hang in there, take your chances when you can to get a breather.

zzzzz Thu 21-Jan-16 07:33:33

Yes I got the HV baby group thing...I had 3 under 3, frankly baby groups were NOT great for us. Invite some friends round or go to theirs, you don't have the energy for taxis and uncomfortable chairs and people you can't moan at without being labelled "moany mum".

Memeto3boys Fri 22-Jan-16 22:29:47

We do get out sometimes and friends struggle with my boys.
The HV wanted baby groups as she reckons my 1 year old won't get enough stimulation and struggle but he's doing brilliantly coming on in leaps and bounds even trying to string sentences together.

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