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Possible ASD son and school not helping!!

4 replies

crazycatlady72 · 14/01/2016 10:42

My 8 YO is really struggling at school, he is very bright though is now falling behind as he finds it hard to concentrate in the class due to others talking etc, he finds it difficult to settle in as doesn't deal with change very well, so by the time he has settled he has missed loads of the lesson. He also has problems with the other children as he is different- very anxious and has lots of tics and doesn't read others well, understand personal space etc. He is full of beans and always seem to be in trouble at school! I understand he is difficult to manage , however surely it is the teachers job to meet his needs. Currently he is sitting on a table on his own at the back of class- the only child to be on his own, he is missing lots of break/lunchtimes for "silly behaviour", when actually he probably needs his outdoor time more than most and he does not want to go to school- hardly surprising. I hate sending him and am so close to home schooling him, however worry about how he will develop socially if he is not with others his own age.

It is a small school so there are only 20 in his class of YR 3/4...why can't the school cope better with his needs?

Any advice on how to deal wth this?

Btw he is being assessed currently for ASD

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GruntledOne · 14/01/2016 15:16

You really need to arrange a meeting with the school SENCO. Prepare for it with a bullet point list of all your concerns and ask what support they have in place, whether they have accessed advice on ASD and what training the staff have had on it. Suggest that they really need some specialist advice on social communication disorders.

Above all else, highlight the fact that punishing and isolating him for the effects of his difficulties is disability discrimination and unlawful.

Aim to come out of the meeting with a plan of action which will include the staff being made aware that their responsibility is to meet his needs, not to punish him for have difficulties, and everyone aiming to minimise stress for him and make school an enjoyable experience for him.

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Obs2016 · 15/01/2016 13:42

Is Senco denying everything Op? Is school insisting he is 'fine'?

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Moominmamma13 · 15/01/2016 20:37

Sorry to hear you boy isn't coping so well and the school isn't helping. It must be heartbreaking for you to see your boy so upset.
Just wanted to say regarding home schooling, there must be a local group in your area you could contact and find out about HE groups. Where we live there is LOTS going on, lots of groups/activities/meetings for all age groups.
I have to admit that we had the same concern when we started, but then found out that it wasn't an issue at all. If you start HE you will soon find that your boy will socialise more that he would in school and with children/activities he feels comfortable with and enjoys.
Surely being isolated in his class and missing on break time is not the ideal way to socialise anyway and his confidence will suffer.
Our DD's anxiety levels dropped down significantly after starting HE and we are more relaxed as a family. DD benefits from 1:1 the school couldn't provide.
I love the flexibility HE gives us.. For example, we tend to take her to museums on quiet days(school days) and take our time there exploring/learning.
If I were you, I would give HS a go, you can always send him back to school if it doesn't work out..

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crazycatlady72 · 20/01/2016 11:40

Thanks for advice!...He only started this school in September 2014 as we moved house/area. I arranged a meeting straight away with the SENCO and his teacher to discuss a plan, they were both quite dismissive tbh as they didn't think he had any additional needs. Of course he was nervous as a new school so behavioural issues weren't a problem to school then...whereas now they are! I believe that most of the staff think he is naughty and don't understand his additional needs, last year he was reprimanded for sniffing continuously for example. I am meeting his teachers (2 PT) next Weds to discuss a plan and can take along some feedback from SAL assessment and also his Bever leader who is a childrens OH so gets where he is at. Just hope I can educate them a bit about what is going on!

HE an option, though have two other children, youngest only 3 so not sure how I would fit that around family demands and I also currently work from home PT....will try with school first.

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