Hi everyone, first of all so sorry I took so long to update. I couldn't log back in after that mumsnet hack that happened last year but I've finally got round to sorting it!
We went to see her in the summer as planned but unfortunately we are still battling with the powers that be. DK was lovely, took her time with DS and with me, and he was (conveniently) a PITA from the get go. DK kept saying that she was surprised that a child so obviously immature didn't have any other professionals involved in his care. I told her this was part of the problem, he doesn't have any extra support as everyone has stuck their heels in and believes he doesn't need it. She said that he's one of the hardest cases she's seen as he did fit under the autism umbrella but she didn't know where to place him under said umbrella,and unfortunately she didn't have enough professional evidence to back up a diagnosis of ASD. She has made recommendations in her report that he is to have a different speech therapist who is experienced in complex language disorders (senco has already asked his usual ST to do this test 
) and that he has the ADOS test done. Basically they're all amongst themselves about who should be the one to refer for the ADOS test , and his nhs paed who hasn't been in touch with me since last may is meant to be the person responsible for doing it. Said NHS Paed doesn't believe there's anything untoward so they're not going to refer are they?
Sorry for this scatty post, its school run time soon and I will try and explain/elaborate more this evening.
Here are some suggested organisations that offer expert advice on special needs.
SN children
update re DK
snowgirl29 · 11/01/2016 14:31
Sorry to hear that. My son was in the gray area too!
He was discharged from his NHS pead today. I gave her DKs report. For the first time ever she hinted that he's more on the spectrum than most. But a ASD diagnosis is for life and she sees no benefit in Dx ing him 
but I agree, I'm done in with him. He was as mad as a hatter today.
I said I might need to see her when he hits his teens and she agreed!
Not sure where abouts you are or if you have any cash left over but there are some good private SLTs about. Unfortunately your looking at DK prices again
I'm being careful what I say here as I don't want to 'out' myself but I know its the school that have put the spanner in the works. DK said in her report that the adhd form they filled out, ds only scored 1\40 , she told us in the assessment that she expects a much higher score than that for an NT child so I know these forms were completed with some thought
ShadyLady I understand, I've been glad everytime I can't get through to ds's nhs paed (just left messages that haven't been returned) as I find them so intimidating.
2boys I'm sorry ds has already been discharged. Same old adage isn't it? That they only believe you once they start playing up with school .ive had the same convo with ds's professionals . Are they gonna be fobbing me off when he's 13,14 etc. I get so angry sometimes that people who have told me there's sod all wrong with my DC have got diagnosises swimmingly and I'm trying not to let it make me bitter.
Both his nhs paed and his gp would have had DKs report by now. NHS PAED made no effort to contact, and GP won't refer for second opinion as he went to Med School with said Paed . CAMHs has already discharged him again too x
I am glad to be discharged to be honest. He's is 8 and been under a pead since he was two. I have my answers as he's dyspraxic with a Lang disorder. We can all finally agree that's difinatly the case. It's this ASD traits that make me wonder as I think that's the route issue.
We both agreed he might be back in the system in a few years. I know that a asd Dx won't help him so I am not keen right now to pursue it until I have to. He could be diagnosed with anything but there's no help out there for him until school wake up - same as you.
Talking to the pead today she said unless they get strong reasons for referral they bat them back to school or the GP! So I couldn't get a gaurantee she will accept him back again. She said his statement was too weak - but unable to put in in wetting as no one in education listens to her
I don't have any answers about school. Plenty of people say he's got issues but no one will write a strong report.
I'm picking out a school for my toddler ( asd diagnosis at 3 and non verbal - almost four now).
It's impossible to get past thinking it's pointless. Lots of debate and we have decided to send him to the same school. Because it's better the devil you know. They, at least will not be shocked when I tell say "if it's a problem for you, then it's a problem for you to fix".
It's wearing and soul destroying. Why it has to be like this I don't know. I think I'm going to step right out of the process for the youngest. Let the school come to me this time.
Sorry DK could not diagnose. 
time she relies heavily on assessments that have already been carried out as well as making her own observations.
DK may recommend that the ADOS is conducted but it is up to the local comm paed. If pushed they may send a CAST or similar questionnaire to the school and then say, good news, there are no problems and therefore no need for an ADOS. At least if you actually get an ADOS and he passes you have right of referral for second opinion.
GOSH HFA clinic recommended that DS2 be re-referred to OT (local policy has no provision aged 8 -11) but local OT said 'no' because he does not meet local policy criteria. That's why I wanted OT in his Statement. He has private SALT and OT now because the NHS have discharged him and will not budge.
Sorry. 
Try and have the DISCO done either by an indi SALT (like margo sharp) or the Lorna Wing Centre if you have to/things don't getter better/get worse. 
It all takes years of stress and effort (on top of having a DS with an ASD) and, tbh, I am not sure that it is worth it because there seems to have been a lowering of expectations that comes with a diagnosis (what do you expect? - he has autism) that fits perfectly with the desired model of inclusion. The judge at my recent tribunal hearing actually said that his current school (see previous posts for an indication of how bad they are) was a 'model of inclusion' and had provided a very high level of support. Total bollocks.
But I can also see why schools/CTs are pissed off. DCs like minitwoboys don't get an EHCP before starting school and so reception classes have no opportunity to refuse admission but have no LA funding for DC that need full time 1:1 in the m/s.
Since posting last time, we had a letter out of the blue offering DS a place at another school. We accepted it and it all happened very fast but the change in DS has been amazing!
All the things I said were causing issues, big classes, too many people l, too much noise that he couldn't filter/sort/process etc. New school is much smaller, quieter, his new senco is fab, and so is his teacher and TA.
. We no longer have CAF meetings and its been changed to a review meeting at the end of each term to discuss behaviour and academic concerns and for me to share any concerns i have with the school regarding his behaviour at home and out and about etc.
New school asked old senco for ds's records, sent over duly. Then I had a letter off NHS paed saying 'thankyou for the helpful report from DK, contacted old senco who has informed me that ds has been withdrawn from x , could you please send me contact details for his new one so I can send a repeat asd questionnaire'. So , not commenting on the ados test DK wants doing then
, also surely, couldn't the senco have just given paed the contact details?Speech therapy recommendation that DK asked for was done at old school, but it took two and a half hours, because he kept stopping and getting distracted and asking the therapist if he could touch her hair. Report came back that he was average and that the assessment 'was a little longer than usual but because ds was taking his time with his answers'
As strange as this sounds, ds was immediately more relaxed in the new school, which meant he behaved exactly how he would do at home or at his dads etc as he wasn't masking. But the school said hes gradually getting better with them.
Also, DK mentioned in report about ds's comprehension skills and this was rubbished by everyone at the time. One week in the new school and they had a chat with me saying his comprehension was way below par! So DK WAS right!
Sorry for the scatty post. Id just popped on and wanted to let you all know. We're still a very long way off on the diagnosis front but for now I'm happy that hes somewhere which makes our daily life slightly more manageable.
We had a different experience! The first paed that met Dd3 disregarded my evidence of Asd and was seriously influenced by school saying she was "fine"!
She left and left us in the lurch and after much hassling we were given an appointment with another paed who met Dd3 for an hour and read my diaries and referred on to CAMHs for an ASD assessment and OT for a motor skills assesment!!
The whole process took 3.5 yrs but the first yr was wasted by the paed who only listened to the school!
Do what you need to do to move the process forward, it sounds like the new school will support you.
Good luck
Hi there. Sorry I didn't return to this. Ive been flipping in and out of mumsnet as I've been rather poorly.
UrgentSchoolHelp DK said he came under the spectrum but she didn't know where to place him under it as she didn't have enough evidence from the professionals or lack thereof to back up a diagnosis.
Re the atypical it's hard to explain as there's many issues that don't always tick the box. For example hes an absolute nightmare at home, his dads, out for the day, and with families yet his last school insisted he was fine despite me getting different reports from ds, the lunch staff and other parents. It all depends on what the surroundings are like as to how he behaves / reacts.
Melawati I did provide the paed with the new senco details a while ago. Senco is yet to hear from nhs paed or receive the asd questionnaire from them. I'll chase it up when the DCs are back in school. I just got a standard reply saying the earliest the nhs paed can see ds again is the summer.
Thankyou Ineedmorepatience. I've just spent the first part of the holidays in hospital and I have really struggled with his behaviour the past week or so. The change in routine has set him right off kilter but I'll be having a chat with the senco when they go back.
At the last meeting the new school were very kind with me and told me to never be afraid to come and tell them and they'll do their best to support me.
snow sorry to hear you've been ill. The combination of that and holidays must have been very challenging for your DS.
The school sound very supportive though, and it's great that they are welcoming your input.
Hope you feel better soon and things start to move forward for you.
To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.