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what do I do when dd won't go to school?(4 Posts)
Dd (10, y6) currently lying in bed, in school uniform, refusing to get out of bed because "it's too cold". She has ASD.
She has been doing really well with going to school and managed 5 weeks without being late at all before Christmas - which was the longest period to date!!!
But, my question is, what do I do?
drag her out = violence
bribery = not working today
leave her alone and hope she decides to go to school at some point??? = a day off work for me.
I am absolutely sure it is not school related, I think the root is that she is tired, it's friday, first week back etc etc
In those circumstances I would empathisize and negotiate.
e.g. Well it's horrible to be cold so I'll turn up the heating so it's OK for you to get up in ten minutes.
Or joke - yes it's so cold we might turn into icecubes - to defuse the situation.
With the ds's ultimatums result in flat refusals. Face-saving negotiations often work e.g. do it in 5 minutes and not now.
Different matter if it stems from problems at school. Is there something on a Friday or test or friendship issue that is the real issue.
We used to put a lot more pressure on the ds's to go when they were reluctant but I think it caused more problems than it solved.
It's difficult though if you have a deadline to get somewhere yourself though.
Thanks . We are still at home.
She is now out of bed at least. Now having argument because she wants to watch tv. Maybe I should go and collect some work from school for her.