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potty training with autism?(17 Posts)
Hi everybody i am looking for some help and tips but not sure if this is the right place to post. So my DS2 is 3.6 and is currently undergoing diagnosis of autism, obviously the spectrum is so big and what works for one child may not work for another child, but i am finding it hard to potty train him and wondered if you guys could give me some tips?. I've never posted on the sn boards before so not sure what sort of thing you need to know so please if you could give me some tips I'd be grateful and i will answer any questions along the way.
I'll copy and paste what I've posted before:
We had started using a big home made year planner to help ds learn about 'time' so we designated a day as 'Pants Day' and stuck a picture of pants on the calendar. Ds was 6 weeks shy of his 4th birthday and due to start reception in 5 months.
I bought a heap of cheap plastic bugs (his obsession at the time) which I individually wrapped in tissue paper and out in a jar labelled 'potty presents' on the cistern. Any wee (or poo) in loo got a bug.
Make sure you have a decent toilet seat (the 2 in 1 with integral toddler seat are very good) and a sturdy high enough step. Your child needs to feel secure, toilets are sometimes a bit scary, many children worry they will fall in. We tried a potty but ds was just too big by then.
Choose the right pants. Some children prefer the snugness of briefs, they've been wearing cosy nappies for ages so loose boxers can affect how they feel things. Girls might be more comfortable in boys pants.
Work out a schedule roughly like a school/nursery day. So, wake up, breakfast, morning snack, morning play, lunchtime, afternoon play, hometime, teatime, bedtime. About every 1.5 - 2 hours roughly.
Only give drinks at those times and encourage your child to drink a lot, give a salty snack and give favourite drinks.
Before every one of those scheduled times send child to toilet to 'try for a wee' and wash hands. Ask them to sit on the toilet, relax and wait a short time, a minute or so, tell jokes or recount a silly story, don't mention weeing. Whether they go or not ask them to wash their hands and carry on with your day.
The chances are you won't get many wees in the toilet in day one. My ds had 13 accidents day one. When he had an accident he was to go to the kitchen and strip off, I would wipe him down and send him off to get re-dressed. No fuss, no blame.
On day one you are trying to both get your child into decent toilet habits ready for school and to help them learn the sensations of needing a wee. You are also looking for your child's patterns. How long after a drink does your child need a wee. So:
Keep a diary of drinks and wees. I soon worked out my ds would have a wee 40 minutes after a proper drink, so I knew he needed to be asked to try for a wee 35 minutes after a drink. He could then work out the link between the sensations and the weeing.
Don't make your child sit on the toilet for long, if they are not ready or relaxed they won't go. It is also really hard to expel a small amount of urine if you're not ready and does not lead to good bladder habits either. You need your child to be able to feel a full bladder and respond at the right time. Otherwise you mess up all the signals.
On day 2 we went out for 2 hours and no accidents. In fact ds has only had one accident outside the house and school ever. It is exceptionally common for reception kids to have accidents, especially when engrossed, again, the routine of trying before every break/playtime helps a lot here.
Bizarrely he became instantly dry at night.
Poos took a lot longer, he continued to mostly poo in pants until end of reception, thankfully his poo time is evening. Again, no fuss. We got there in the end.
We've had ongoing issues with ds not feeling he needs to go, so he still needs to be sent to the toilet some of the time, we notice when he has a full bladder because he gets really antsy and grrrrr IYSWIM? He gets fidgety and lacks concentration when he needs a poo.
poltergoose thank you im still trying to find my feet everything is a new challenge compared to my first DS. Everything is a constant battle to get him help, hopefully we are going to get some funding for 1:1 at nursery soon so that should help because then we can keep things consistent, he really likes routine . Ds2 is still mostly non verbal and doesn't really follow directions cant dress his self amongst a lot of other things. It feels good actually saying this to someone who will understand what i am going through. thank you
Hope the nursery support is sorted soon.
Do you think he's ready to toilet train? Is he aware he's about to wee or poo, eg does he stop what he's doing beforehand or go to a corner? Do you think he knows what the toilet is for? I don't have experience of a non-verbal toddler but even though my ds was verbal he was rubbish at recognising and expressing his needs! I had to work out he was looking ready. But, honestly, there's no rush, other stuff might be more important and it's easy to get really stressed about toileting when you could be having fun
I think he's just starting to recognise so in no rush to start him was just looking for some tips to be ready. He has currently started going in a corner to poo and then trying to take his nappy off or even more gross sticking his hand down and showing us poo on his fingers. He's also started sitting on the potty of his own accord when having nappy free time and trying to wee so he gets a sticker, but doesn't always make it for proper wee's. So why he is currently showing some starter signs which he has never shown before I'm under no illusion he probably isn't totally ready to start. We've had his first mpact meeting just waiting for his asmpact meeting and another appointment with the community paediatrician. Everything just takes so long around here .
It takes ages everywhere
It does sound like he's getting ready, and you just need to pick your moment! Winter isn't the best time, much easier when it's warmer and you can get washing dry easily
Yes that was my thinking too . Was going to try over Christmas but he was up at hospital and poorly . Also was a manic time with my older DS birthday. My husband works away a lot so it's mainly down to me and sometimes I feel abit down with it all he's such a beautiful happy boy but has now started hurting himself due to frustration he started pre school in September and they have been fantastic with him . The next think I've got to decide is weather I'm going to keep him back a year as he's ment to start school in September
Cerebra, contact a family and the NAS all have leaflets on this. It's thought a good idea to forget a potty and go straight to the loo as its another transition.
I am currently training my ds who is 4 in March. He is using a potty. He likes to bring it and use next to where ever I am. He loves batman so I got a stash of batman stickers. To start off with he got them as a reward. He couldn't deal with the pants so for us it's been very spaced out. So weeks with no pants or trousers. Then introduced pants, got to introduce trousers yet and lastly trying to go out with no nappy.
I possibly could have gone cold turkey and just gone for it. Personally I wasn't ready and didn't want to get stressed.
That's the major thing. Always be happy, what ever they do.
Yeh that sounds like similar to what I'm planning on trying and the steps I'm Guna take. We only have a upstairs toilet though and don't think he'll make it?
I think if you take him at regular times like Polter did then he should eventually learn to hold it.
My son went five hours without a wee. You be surprised. Asd iron will power can have some bonuses
we used pull ups for ds as he had toddler diarrhoea and I did not want to be scraping it out of the carpet or sofa as pants would not have held it in.
we did a gradual approach, taught him about toilets first and he got to watch dd and I using the loo/potty. the potty was available, I think he was encouraged to use it when dd used it. he weed in the potty well before he pooed in the potty.
He just decided he would use the potty for pooing one day. that was it: trained.
he learned to wee standing up by copying boys at nursery.
We managed to fully potty train our autistic son at around 3 years and 7 months. He kinda got it for a while but it was hard work as he never used to speak much therefore he couldn't tell us he needed to go.
For a while I would sit him down on the potty with an iPad until he went and cheered and praised him. It took him a while to understand what he was doing but once he did. I used to have 3 pottys around the house and keep his bottoms off and he learnt to go. He went round the house half naked for a couple months but never got the idea if he was fully dressed or outside the house. He even took a poo in the bridge to his wooden train track and in the garden 😣 but he did learn over time.
In the end. I just put him in pants and had the attitude 'if he peed he peed' and had loads of spare pants and clothes to hand. Surprisingly this did the trick. I would keep reminding him and asking if he needed to go.. He had had maybe three accidents since this time - over a year ago!!
He also had a toy bath which has a whole on the bottom and filled with water. And the duck went 'pee pee' when I squirted it..
Visual aids may be good for your son. My son never used them while toilet training but uses them now at school for other things!
Thanks everybody for the great replies and help. Sorry I've took so long in replying we have been having issues at preschool . He knows what to do when i sit him on the potty, he will actually force a wee out to get a sicker and will take himself to the potty lol. The problem we have is he doesn't seem to understand the sensation of needing to go so will just wee randomly. will definitely give the duck idea a go as he absolutely loves bath ducks. Have a felling he will just see it as a game though.
hi my boy has ASD he is nearly 5 years old he has been toilet trained for a year and a half now. I started off with the potty for a week or so and gave him lots of praise and made up a sticker chart with his favourite stickers ( fire exit signs lol) this really helps motivate him once he was doing most of his pee's in it i moved the potty to bathroom to give him the choice of using potty or toilet. i found that if i used nappies and pants throughout day this would confuse him so i evenually decided to just use pants this seemed to work with my little boy as he then relised he did not like the feeling of wetness in his pants so would go to toilet.it took about a year for him to be fully potty trained he would still have accidents i always made sure i carried a lot of spare clothes lol. hope this helps xxx
i forgot to add it took us about a year to be fully trained as he was scared of doing a number 2 in the potty/toilet and would often do it in pants but with the pees it took about 3 months. my son is also non verbal has a few words so i have to watch for clues that he is needing he often dances about when needs to go if we out if we in house he just goes up to toilet himself x
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