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Demand avoidant teenager who needs to do physio!! I need help!!

(6 Posts)
Ineedapiginblanket Thu 17-Dec-15 17:06:43

Most people know me and my story but in case you dont Dd3 is 13, currently home ed and has a diagnosis of Asd (amongst other things), demand avoidance has always played a huge part in our lives although when she was at school she had become so low and depressed that the demand avoidance did seem to take a back seat. Now its back with hormonal avengance and I am struggling! I cant get her to do anything really with asking over and over again and her ending up shouting at me, or she just flately refuses, or she just walks off!
Heres the tricky bit! She needs to do physio because she has tip toe walked and shortened her achillies tendon, hamstrings and all the large muscles in her legs, she has also had a growth spurt which has made everything even tighter! She has been told that if she doesnt stretch the tendons she could either need to be put into casts for an unknown length of time or have surgery to stop her feet turning out and her being in pain!
She is in pain whenever she walks for more than a few minutes.
The trouble is, that she is frightened of surgery and doesnt want casts because her favourite pastimes are all water based so she is in a state of anxiety, this has made her put a barrier up and she is refusing to do the physio!!!
I am completely stuck and dont know how to help her over this!
Hope someone can help!

PolterGoose Thu 17-Dec-15 18:48:19

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Ineedapiginblanket Thu 17-Dec-15 19:18:04

She has 2 stretches that she needs to do an achillies one and a hamstring one, they are very simple, she has briefly managed the hamstring one tonight after groaning and coming up with excuses for 20 minutes!!

Yes she has orthtotics, she had new ones made to measure last time we went to the hospital but when we went to collect them on Tuesday they had lost them!

I have to phone tomorrow to chase them up!

She doesnt sit at a desk but she does sit at the table so could try a footrest.

Most of the time we can work round the demand avoidance by being calm and relaxed and keeping demands to an absolute minimum but this is clearly not going to work in this situation!

I am going to try my shower method tomorrow and see if that works! I will remind her first thing in the morning that the excersises must be done but she can choose when to do them!

Its so hard!

Ineedapiginblanket Thu 17-Dec-15 19:32:47

I have just found a priority rating chart in my demand avoidance book!

It lists things that need to be done or not done and their priority on a scale of 1-3! That might help!

imip Fri 18-Dec-15 05:30:42

God, getting my dd to do physio exercises is the bane of my existence! My other dd is demand avoidant, so I get how tricky this must be!

Dds physio offered her a one hour gym class once a week with a group of other children held at the local hospital. Does your hosp/physio do anything like this? Then someone else would be making the demand of her. We didn't take up the offer of the group bc it coincided with her favourite extra curricular group.

I've toyed in the past with hiring a physio student to do a couple of sessions with dd a week. Just not sure how I'd go about it. My dd is in constant pain with hyper mobility, so it is of extreme benefit to do the exercises. We manage usually twice a week.

As she is a teen, would joining a gym help??? Making the exercises part do a quick routine. Sorry if these are rubbish ideas, I've also put a lot if thought into how we help manage this is the future!

Ineedapiginblanket Fri 18-Dec-15 08:40:03

Thanks imip as always it helps to know I am not alone!
I hadnt thought about a gym but that could be worth looking at.

A physio group would be perfect really I will definitely ask them next time we go if they do anything like this!

I know that if I can get it into her routine she will tolerate it better, she is being so resistant at the moment that it is proving difficult but I can give up its too important. She would not cope with surgery and all that that brings and even casting would be really traumatic for her.

Thanks smile

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