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i just smacked my 5 year old :(

(16 Posts)
ghostspirit Wed 09-Dec-15 21:24:25

i have posted in special needs because i dont know if she has them or not... her behaviour at home is a madness... she shouts swears, hurts other people mainly my 8 year old son. others to but it seems to be him she gos for.. it gets a little better then it gets worse again. i told her tonight she is not to come out of her room. unless its to go to the bathroom. she came out at least 8 times i kept telling her to get into bed. and she just kept mouthing me off i was constantly up and down and my hips were really hurting. i think due to pregnancy. early in the evening she had been rude and aggressive i made her sit on the stairs for 20 mins. only time she was good and positive was when she was eating her dinner. anyway after going up the stairs the 8th time i lost it and ended up smacking her. but as i did she moved and i have caught the side of her face. she was crying for about 5 mins. i was ranting at her telling her i cant cope with her any more bla bla... then i left the room. i went back up 10 mins later and i said that she makes me sad and i dont like it when shes horrible to everyone. i said do you care when you upset people. she said she does not care and she likes being horrible...

during the holiday august sort of time i went to the doctors and told her some of the things she has done that worry me. i cant even remember them all now but one was that she had held a crusion over my babys face. i explained to her that her brother could die. she said she did not care. gp said at 5 shes still very young and does not understand the meaning of dying or how dangerous the crusion is. shes probably right. she did not seem worried about how she is at all. i dont get any bad reports from school.

i do want to get some sort of outside help but im (not) going to contact ss. or the school. if the school become involved if i can get some sort of out side help thats fine. as she is under their care during school time. but i do not trust the school. and i do have good reason not to. so for now at least i want to keep them out of it.

we do need some sort of help i just dont know how to get it if gp is not worried says shes little and will grow out of it.

i might end up adding things as i go on this thread as im stressed and it all feels very mixed up.

PolterGoose Wed 09-Dec-15 22:07:12

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ghostspirit Wed 09-Dec-15 22:26:36

oh there is a childrens centre doc had said about it before but i forgot till you just said. there is one attached to the school. but i know the staff there so no way am i going there i have been in the same room when they have been gossiping...

there is another one a bus ride away. but im not really sure what they could do to help. yeah i have a couple of videos on my phone. but they are from aug sort of time.

when i went to the docs she just said i have alot of kids and they are all fighting for my attention... but i had not mentioned the other kids and it was only the 5 year old i was worried about.

ghostspirit Thu 10-Dec-15 09:28:07

i contacted a childrens centre have an appointment for next wed. for a one to one chat to see whats going on.

PolterGoose Thu 10-Dec-15 09:31:52

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ghostspirit Thu 10-Dec-15 09:39:16

yeah between now and then im going to restart the diary and might show the couple of videos i have on the phone... although im not sure if they are real.. well they are real. but im the one holding the phone. but had i not been holding the phone it may have been different because i would have been dealing with it :/

and thank you goose you have been ace smile

PolterGoose Thu 10-Dec-15 09:49:22

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ghostspirit Thu 10-Dec-15 10:01:54

yes im going to do bullet point things... im thinking i should ad the positive things as well to give a clear picture.

it does feel mad thinking omg shes 5 and i can barely control her. if someone said that to me i would be thinking omg their 5 tell them off... but its not until your in that situation that you really get it...

This will sounds really bad but there is a small part of me that hopes they will say something is wrong because then that kind of gives me an answer and as much as we should not label children/people its the label that gives us access to help... but then if there is not anything going on with her i dont know where that would leave us... gosh that sounds bad.

bbkl Thu 10-Dec-15 11:36:37

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ghostspirit Thu 10-Dec-15 12:28:36

bbkl yes i agree. no point telling them half a story or we wont get the right help. weather thats a few parenting classes for me or some help for her/both... i don't care what it is to be honest as long as i have things to work with and try

ghostspirit Thu 10-Dec-15 18:13:08

it was my childrens parents evening tonight. i did not want to say to much as i said above i want to keep at arms length for now. but i did ask how does she get along with children in the class . and teacher said she was fine and well behaved... she plays with the boys alot not into girly things. that was about it....... but now im not sure what to think

Youarentkiddingme Fri 11-Dec-15 07:06:45

I hope the dr appointment goes well. It's clear you both need some support and suggestions.

If another doctor mentions that you have other children then use it to your advantage - "yes I do, parented the same way and none of them are violent, a risk to their sibling etc".

Diary is a great idea. It really helps. Keep it factual. DD did X, I said X, this was the response to that, I tried y, then this happened etc. I found showing that I'd tried 'normal' persevering routes and it had not worked or escalated the situation was what got people to sit up and listen.

ghostspirit Fri 11-Dec-15 07:41:35

thankyou kiddingme thats helpful i will be doing that. on wednesday im having a one to one with someone she did have a title but i forgot what it is lol. see what happens from there. im not going back to gp at the moment. im going to see how it gos with childrens centre first... i wonder if gp just thought the summer holidays had got to me.. it will be my luck that daughter is an angel all weekend and be nothing to write :/

ghostspirit Sun 13-Dec-15 20:46:15

well daughter has not played up since i smacked her. that was wed. its now sunday. she done silly kiddy stuff but nothing ott. if she been quite good for all that time. then i guess my answer is theres nothing wrong... and shes just a general handful.

bbkl Mon 14-Dec-15 09:09:00

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

PolterGoose Mon 14-Dec-15 09:21:13

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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