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school took dds ear defenders away

(15 Posts)
janb33 Sat 14-Nov-15 20:48:36

My 5 year old daughter in on the spectrum and has sensory processing problems, she is unbelievably sensitive to noise.
her pediatrician told me she needs ear defenders for school but the school said she couldn't wear them because 'they make her look different' i explained that she is refusing to go to school, i have to carry her in through the front office screaming every morning because she says the noise is hurting her ears, then when she comes home from school she explodes into a meltdown to the point she actually vomits, the school eventually agreed to order her the ear defenders, my dd was allowed to wear them for just 3 days and during these 3 days she went into school no problem at all but last week they where taken away from her and now we are back to square one with the meltdowns, there is no point in me talking to the school again, they're not listening to me, i have 2 other children on the spectrum too and on a bad day i can be in the school office 3-4 times for various reasons yet nobody is listening to me! my daughter was forced to spend the entire afternoon watching a talent show which was just far to much for her and she's spend the whole weekend crying because her ears are still hurting.
Can somebody please tell me what i can do next?
Thank you x

Smartiepants79 Sat 14-Nov-15 20:53:29

Why have they removed them? Have they given a reason?
Can you buy her some yourself so they belong to her?
You are going to have to try speaking to school again.
Who have you spoken to, SENCO? head?
Unless you are planning to move her to another school you are going to have to go in and fight for what she needs. I can't see why school would be against the ear defenders, it has no impact on anyone but her.

zzzzz Sat 14-Nov-15 21:12:57

Call paediatrician and ask him to Write a letter to the HT. ask him to send you a copy to wave at them too

janb33 Sat 14-Nov-15 21:17:27

They just said that they don't want her wearing them because they make her look different! but my daughter doesn't care, she's oblivious to what's going on around her most of the time anyway. She begs the teachers for the ear defenders but they simply say no. I've spoken to SENCO quite a few times but nothing is done, i've been trying to speak to my daughters class teacher for 3 weeks not but she keeps putting me off.
No one will let me speak to the head, they all tell me to speak to SENCO but i feel like i'm talking to a brick wall.
My daughter was home educated a while ago and i'm thinking of pulling her out of school again but that's only a very last resort, i just don't know what to do to get the school to allow my daughter her ear defenders, surely they can't just refuse and that's it, can they?

Anomia10 Sat 14-Nov-15 22:22:31

No, it sounds like disability discrimination. The school has to make reasonable adjustments for your daughter's disability - which in her case are ear defenders. I agree with zzzz that I'd get a letter from the paediatrician to send to the school, with one from you, pointing out their duties to make a reasonable adjustment for her disability.

Borka Sat 14-Nov-15 22:24:31

Under the terms of the Equality Act, schools have a legal obligation to make reasonable adjustments for disabled pupils. Allowing your DD to wear ear defenders is certainly a reasonable adjustment.

When I was having difficulties with DS's school not making reasonable adjustments, I found that mentioning the Equality Act got them to take what I was saying a lot more seriously.

Do you have an email address for the SENCO or head teacher? If I was you I'd put something in writing mentioning the Equality Act.

Anomia10 Sat 14-Nov-15 22:27:40

See this guidance on the Equality and Human Rights Commission website:

www.equalityhumanrights.com/sites/default/files/publication_pdf/Reasonable%20adjustments%20for%20disabled%20pupils%20%281%29.pdf

Ineedmorepatience Sat 14-Nov-15 22:30:04

Wow!! I have come across some really awful things happening to children in schools but this is just crap!!

I dont think I would send her until this is sorted!

PolterGoose Sat 14-Nov-15 22:30:58

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

janb33 Sat 14-Nov-15 22:58:59

Thank you so much for all of your replies! every time i go into the school the looks on the teachers faces makes me feel like i'm being a nuisance. My other children tell me they see my dd in assembly with her hands pressed against her ears crying her eyes out but when i challenge the school they deny it and say she never puts her hands over her ears! so when the school went to church yesterday i stayed and sat at the back to keep an eye on her and she had her hands on her ears for most of the time and was bouncing up and down on the chair which is what she does when she's not coping with the noise, she only took her hands off her ears when they sung a very quiet gently song so i know the school is lying but i don't understand why. I don't think i'm going to get anywhere with SENCO, they're not listening to me.

AgnesDiPesto Sun 15-Nov-15 10:27:32

DS is pretty good with noise but there are some activities at school which are super loud he can't cope with and he gets to go out the hall for those. Outside of school its only really fireworks, theme parks and shouting that bug him. I put ear defenders on him for fireworks - we were sat in the car some distance away - he still wanted to keep the window up as the fireworks were still too loud for him and he could hear what i said to him even with them on. Clearly all the defenders do is block out part of the noise and with his supersonic hearing he can hear well enough even with them on.
Complain direct to the Governors about disability discrimination. Its utterly depressing there are still schools out there behaving like this.
I totally understand why you feel defensive - i have been in a school that didn't 'get it' and had to move DS but know the law is on your side. They are the ones breaking the law. Frankly its worrying there are people out there in the position of teaching children who aren't bright enough to understand basic legal rights.
There are some good youtube videos you could direct the governors to which try to show what sensory overload feels like.
Ultimately you can take the school to tribunal for disab discrimination.

Ineedmorepatience Sun 15-Nov-15 12:22:18

In my experience some schools and some teachers see it as their mission to make our children "normal"! They cant accept that different is ok and that we dont want them to damage our precious children by "normalising" them!

All that happens is that our children become traumatised and very unhappy!

The strategies that we use to scaffold our children are learned through experience and our desire to make our childrens lives as pleasant as they can possibly be!

What we are not is fussy, anxious parents but that is the label we are given!

We tried 3 schools for Dd3 and had the same issues in each of them despite 2 of them allegedly being outstanding for SEND! One senco even reminded us in tribunal that the SEND team had won awards!

Our Dd is now home educated because we threw the towle in after 8 yrs! I hope you have more luck than us.

Good luck flowers

Lindseyepps28 Sun 15-Nov-15 12:35:49

Write a letter of complaint to the head and Cc in the la, explain all your issues and request a written response to why they have removed the ear defenders. With all complaints they have to respond in so many days think its like 14 day but not certain. My son wears ear defenders in morning only as seem to cope in afternoon but they r on the TA desk if he needs them. I bought some some kids once for around £12 from eBay. Good luck

zzzzz Sun 15-Nov-15 12:43:08

I have to add that if "looking different" is that much of an issue at this school they have A LOT of work to doangry

Youarentkiddingme Sun 15-Nov-15 18:19:02

That's awful angry

I'd ring the paediatrician and ask them to write a strongly words email or letter explaining your DDs need and the effect of not meeting those.
I'd then send an email myself alongside it about reasonable adjustments etc.

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