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Is there cause for concern?

(25 Posts)
DrMum83 Tue 10-Nov-15 09:23:18

Hoping for advice from experienced parents here, thanks in advance.
I've had worries about ASD for my DD who is very nearly 10 months old.
I'm very aware I hyper analyse her but my DH is also concerned and I wonder if anyone feels our worries are founded..
So, DD is my first. No signif birth history.
She can:
Sit well since 6.5 months
She can 4 point crawl backwards and army crawl forwards
No cruising
Weight bears on legs when held
Fine motor good, self feeds cup and finger food
Distance eye contact good
Can point to my nose when asked 'where's mummy's nose?' But no spontaneous pointing yet
Understands a few other words
Babbles +++
Copies raspberry blowing 50% of time
Waving is hit and miss and needs a lot of prompting
Helps a little with dressing
Very interested in toys
Holds arms up to be picked up
'Checks in' when playing and if she achieves something eg makes a toy squeak, will look to me for praise
Enjoys peekaboo but doesn't initiate

Our worries:
- not very smiley, doesn't respond to a smile most of time
- giggles but takes a bit of work
(Compared to other babies, she seems very serious)
- stranger anxiety wearing off but is quite introverted in groups and observes rather than participates
-close up eye contact poor - actively avoids
-nightmare at mealtimes, constantly throwing items off the chair, does eat but doesn't seem engaged with me when feeding
- rarely shows affection, once breastfeed has finished she's arching to get away from me
- some babies seem to actively seek out adult attention - she is the opposite.

I'm aware she's still v young, that comparison to other babies is stupid and that this is likely to be her personality (I'm happy with that!) but just hoping for opinions of others' - starting to feel im constantly assessing her rather than enjoying her.

DrMum83 Tue 10-Nov-15 09:23:48

Oh Christ, this is so long- I'm sorry!

shazzarooney99 Tue 10-Nov-15 09:55:14

Shes 10 months old, she sounds like a normal 10 month old to me to be honest, have you spoke to your health visitor? some babies can be grumpy, not all babies are smiley babies.

I think you may be reading way to much into things for a child this age.And please dont take that offensivley, other people may have different veiws from me.

DrMum83 Tue 10-Nov-15 10:19:11

shazza - not offended at all! Thank you for taking time to reply. It's really useful to hear from other mums with more experience.
No sympathy wanted but my mil is a dragon and I lost my mum last year so don't really have a 'go to' sensible figure to talk to.

zzzzz Tue 10-Nov-15 10:52:05

We can be your "go to" brewcake

I honestly think she sounds fine. The not being so jolly or cuddly may can just be personality, but you sound aware and actively engaging her and like you love her to bits. She is already doing so much.

DrMum83 Tue 10-Nov-15 11:21:57

zzz thanks, I think it may be just personality, it's not that she doesn't enjoy stuff, it's that she seems choosey with what she finds funny and who she smiles at. I haven't really spent a lot of time with babies generally but the babies I know just seem to love attention! DD does make noises to get attention but she doesn't revel in it if that makes sense.
I sound nuts.

shazzarooney99 Tue 10-Nov-15 11:42:40

DrMum83, thats ok luv, i lost my maam 3 weeks ago,she got buried last week, and i know lots of things go through your head. xxxxxx

DrMum83 Tue 10-Nov-15 11:50:30

Oh no, I'm so sorry shazza - you must be feeling awful. I hope that you have lots of love around you. I don't think there's anything that can prepare you for losing your mum. It's truly awful.
I miss my mum everyday, I miss being able to just ring her and hear her say 'stop being daft, no point worrying'... I wish she could have met many DD so much but she died 3 months before she was born.
I hope you're managing ok and trying to keep busy. Acceptance comes with time and I'm just starting to look back fondly on the good times without crying.

shazzarooney99 Tue 10-Nov-15 12:04:14

Times a great healer Drmum and unfortunately it just takes time, i just wish i could get my son sorted, he just gets passed from pillar to post and its not doing my any good what so ever at the moment.

DrMum83 Tue 10-Nov-15 12:07:18

Sorry you're grieving and dealing with your son sad
What's going on with your son?

shazzarooney99 Tue 10-Nov-15 12:11:53

Hes on the autistic spectrum just doesnt have a diagnoses yet, hes incredibley violent, hes getting really stressed at school, but seems to cope, constantly wanting to kill himself, so Cahms wont entertain him as its not mental health, peadatrician is off on maternity so the stand in wont do anything because his normal pead knows him better. he needs to see a clinical pychologist really.

2boysnamedR Tue 10-Nov-15 14:02:37

I was given a developmental checklist from
My physio ( Sheridan) for my Dd and one from nursary ( early years profile) for my toddler. They should rough targets for age ranges. its broader than comparison to direct peers.

Not sure if that might reassure you a bit?

DrMum83 Tue 10-Nov-15 15:40:17

shazza - that doesn't seem right. Panda can't delay an assessment based on someone 'knowing your son better'. Is it worth insisting that the stand in reviews or, asking your GP for a fresh referral elsewhere?

2boys if you have a link to that checklist form, that'd be great, thank you!

DrMum83 Tue 10-Nov-15 15:40:40

*They not panda!

2boysnamedR Tue 10-Nov-15 15:42:01

I will see if I can find one.

2boysnamedR Tue 10-Nov-15 15:49:34

I'm waiting in the car for kids club to start so found this on Google. Not checked if these are the same targets but will check again when home. I'm no health care professional but I presume your looking for more yes than no, so don't panic if say 25% is no. Also to compair - my son with asd scores about 25% on a 1-2 year range ( he's almost four!)

DrMum83 Tue 10-Nov-15 16:09:26

Thank you so much 2boys that's really useful!

shazzarooney99 Tue 10-Nov-15 16:34:46

Its all right Drmum i am going to kick some arse soon cause im bloody fed up with it, just been to the docs myself to get a 2 week sick note, nedd to start looking after myself xxx

PolterGoose Tue 10-Nov-15 18:54:15

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

DrMum83 Tue 10-Nov-15 19:34:51

Thanks poltergoose - would you share any other behaviors you noticed during the first 12 months which stood out to you?

PolterGoose Tue 10-Nov-15 20:04:27

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

shazzarooney99 Tue 10-Nov-15 20:28:34

Your reminded me of my littley when he was little poulet, hes not so little ow hes 8, but he would have this high picthed scream all the way round supermarkets, was very loud, people would move aisles to get away from us lol

DrMum83 Tue 10-Nov-15 20:46:34

Thanks polter - sorry to test your memory!
DD is an explorer and interested in everything within reach and beyond.
Thanks for your advice, it's very sensible

PolterGoose Tue 10-Nov-15 21:18:01

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

DrMum83 Wed 11-Nov-15 15:17:10

Thanks, really useful links.
I'm just gonna relax and rethink things again in a few months. No point worrying now!

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