Really struggling. Why is life so hard?

[Lostbowie]

Need to vent. I have 2 children, both boys, 13 and 2. Both have severe autism. Eldest has severe speech disorder, receptive and expressive levels of a 5 year old and not easily understood. Also severe learning disability and ADHD. The youngest has yet to say a word, has no understanding and has so many more sensory issues than his brother and is so repetitive. Both are so challenging, constant meltdowns, danger to themselves, need constant 1:1 supervision. We are totally exhausted and to be quite frank Im in a really negative place about it all. I know jealousy and negative thoughts are not helping and are irrational. But I question everyday why everyone else I see deserves to have a happy, normal life (and they seem to take it for granted too!) whilst I have been dealt a really devastating hand, twice. I do the whole ASD support group and come away wondering why my situation is so much worse. Everyone else has 1 affected child, almost always high functioning, with NT siblings. Thats how much of a negative place Im in - Im even resentful of other parents of children with SEN!

Is anyone in the same situation? SOmetimes it feels as though its just me :(

[LoveMILbut]

[Flowers] no practical help I'm afraid. Can you talk to the council about respite care? Sounds like you need a weekend off! What about your GP? Do they know quite how run down you are feeling?

[Lostbowie]

We are in the process of getting respite the my eldest set up. He has been awarded 5 hrs/week and 1 over night stay a month - which is going to be a massive help. I just wish I didnt have this frame of mind. I went to the GP around Xmas time (it was then that my little one completely regressed). I was upset all the time but GP was sure I wasnt depressed - I dont think I am. Im not upset all the time anymore. Just bitter. And I wish I could shake off this state of mind.