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faeces problems :(

(6 Posts)
makingmiracles Fri 07-Aug-15 20:33:45

posting her for more traffic as posted before in SEN education and not many replies.

we have a soiling problem, has been ongoing now almost 6yrs. Started after restraint incidents at school. have been managing it best I can but lately its getting worse.
its not a whole poo iyswim, its more severe skidmarks/poo ending up up his back/down his legs. the problem now is (I think not helped by the warmish weather) he is now starting to get a (crusty)rash down there, where everything is getting sweaty(and soiled) and irrating his skin.
he has no diagnosed sen although have been under consultant pead for years.
he seems not bothered too much. all the continence service says is give him more than 8 movical daily, which is something we are at loggerheads with at present because how do you give a adult sized child movical if they wont drink the drink with it in?! to give you a sense, he fits the criteria well for pda and odd, so you can imagen how hard the incontinence nurse request was!
Im worried as he moves up to secondary this year. im worried that other kids will smell him(often its very noticeable, we can often smell it when he gets in the car) or see poo up his back or see the pretty big rash between his legs and bully himsad im really just hitting a brick wall with it now and not sure what other approaches to help him will work.

hoping someone else can offer advice or share their story

makingmiracles Fri 07-Aug-15 20:34:46

in my unqualified opinion I think its linked with his behaviour- ive been thinking for yrs hes top end spectrum /pda- which after some googling it seems soiling/smearing quite common in children with pda. however am hitting a brick wall with consultant who states he cannot be on spectrum as he makes eye contact hmm going to attempt dla application as im literally nr the end of my tether...mainly soiling wise, and the behaviour and disregard that goes with the soiling, but behaviour too.

anyone had experience of getting it awarded for behaviour/soiling with no diagnosis?

The jobcentre has been telling me to apply for yrs but after they suggested it I rang the cab and they laughed in my face and said they wouldn't help fill in an application as without a diagnosis its almost 100% given it wont be awarded, so I never applied. This time im going in all guns blazing, they will bloody help me fill it in, even if I have to travel to another cab in another area! read through cerebra and other dla notes and will take those with me. is there particular people at the cab who have experience with child dla forms or will I just get any advisor?

makingmiracles Fri 07-Aug-15 20:37:42

hes in ms school, the restraints happened during the 3 yrs he was at infants, since moving to primary hes had much better teaching approaches and no restraint (but I fear the restraints have damaged him emotionally ) The school have been no help in regards to the soiling, they have no idea how to handle it as much as me, as for behaviour they've put things in place to minimise the impact of it on his education- for example often using small group work or 1-2-1, getting him to engage in practical projects like fixing a motorbike and getting him to help the caretaker with tasks at lunchtimes (a time he particularly struggles with his behaviour) school hasn't been without its problems entirely though, he had another exclusion last year for fracturing another childs arm and on another occasion has disappeared out of school, being returned by police later that afternoon. hes on the sen register at school but no IEP/school action or statement or anything, they say he doesn't meet the criteria.

we saw camhs in the past (5yrs ago?)who said yes hes challenging, but your managing him well, case dismissed! never managed to get another referral. ed psych, yes saw them a lot at infants but not since being at primary- they were due to come out to him before school broke up for the hols but it didn't happen due to her being ill and off work so guessing that's off the cards now too as hes moving up to secondary now. school haven't pushed for anything, they put me in touch with get-set, who came and worked with him for 6 weeks on a 1-2-1 basis on anger management but again after that was completed we were signed off from that. the anger management has made no difference.

Paed said at last appointment she felt he has sensory processing difficulties and would refer to OT for assessment, just had a letter come through the past few days from OT to paed saying they wont accept the referral due to lack of info from her on how its impacting his life.
next pead apt now not till dec 15/jan 16, incontinence appt in September- after speaking to ERIC on the phone I plan to ask them to look at his anus as eric said a professional should be able to see whether his anal muscles are over stretched or not (which is what they are putting the soiling down to).

Just feel downtrodden with it all and losing fight. Now have had to move his sibling out of his shared room due to violence towards him and move sibling in with his little sister, not ideal but has decreased conflict.

Just feel there are so many issues and feel like im being fobbed off all the time, behaviour, soiling, weight/eating-Im sure he has a over-eating disorder ( eats v v fast, never feels full, constantly stealing food or getting into physical wrestles with me over food-this is getting worse but again haven't been referred for any further help) although hes only just about to start secondary he is a big boy and weighs over 10st and its becoming increasingly difficult to block him/restrain him if hes arguing over food or fighting with his sibling.

The soiling has no rhyme or reason, most days he does it multiple times a day, some days he doesn't at all, he has no awareness of it (so he says) he doesn't seem embarrassed about it or ashamed or wanting to make it stop. he doesn't care about how he smells and will fight about having a wash every day. He used to smear it on stuff in the past but doesn't nowadays, he often will have faeces round his fingernails indicating hes had his hands down his pants. im just at the end of my tether with it. I do what I can, try not to appear angry(although im seething inside the longer it goes on) I make him wash his garments and bag them up, then make him wash the bath out with antibac.

I feel like low rate dla would help the situation slightly due to the amount of money im spending on buying new pants all the time and the increased amount of washing that comes hand in hand with the soiling. maybe it wont, maybe it wont be worth the time to do, I don't know, im just venting really......

sorry that may not all make sense, I copied and pasted my replies to someone asking me questions about the support ive already received...

PolterGoose Fri 07-Aug-15 21:57:14

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

makingmiracles Fri 07-Aug-15 23:24:12

Thankyou for taking the time to reply, I feel like im alone with this right now.
Secondary are aware in as much as I mentioned it in the paperwork, but that's it, it hasn't been discussed properly yet, in all honesty im scared to bring it up with them as its a state boarding and he was sooo lucky to get a place despite behavioural issues so im scared of rocking the boat or them saying it makes him unsuitable to board and withdrawing his place(he wont be boarding, but has to on occasions through the year)

I have read the explosive child a few years ago, I probably need to re-read it. the drs seem clueless on pda or getting any further help than from the hospital we already go to. I asked the paed about referral to Elizabeth newson but she said that was not possible (cant remember why, we were at last appt for almost 2 hrs and its hard to remember everything that was said) is there any way of finding out if there are pda experts in my area? maybe I should ring EN directly and see if they know about any specialists in my area...

Piratejones Sat 08-Aug-15 13:06:54

With the pooing issue, if he is resistant to movical don't give him it, it's not worth weeks and week of hassle. Go to the chemist and get suppository laxatives, not nice but they work in 20 minutes and will clear everything out.

You might want to insert it when he is asleep, It takes about 15 minutes to start and you need to get him to a toilet fast.

it does sound like constipation rather than soiling and smearing, your son is leaking watery poo, he isn't taking his solid matter and wiping it around on things. This indicates there is a blockage inside him and only soft stuff is comming around it.

Please buy him some pullups, i know you think he's too old and probably won't wear them, but it will prevent himself getting so sore.

I have had years of my 7 year old being stuck in a constipation cycle, Very common for Sn children.

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