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4.5yr old - normal or should I take him to be assessed

(9 Posts)
Wrongmoreoftenthannot Mon 03-Aug-15 14:20:58

I have some concerns about the development of my 4.5 year old DS. He starting school in September and I think its brought it up in my mind more.

He is a very sweet boy, polite and loving but he seems very behind to me when I compare him to others in his year group. He is loud in groups and does struggle to sit still and do as he is asked in some situations. He is never quiet - we are always reminding him to use his indoor voice.

He has struggled with his hearing and speech development but was signed off by the speech therapist in September last year. They had concerns about his understanding and there was a significant speech delay but felt last summer that he was where he should be.

My main concerns surround his seeming inability to either listen to what I've asked him to do or his lack of understanding of what he has been asked to do. I have taken to asking him to repeat back what I have said and more often than not he can not repeat it back.

In addition he seems to struggle to remember names - he will ask a child over and over what his/her name is and often then get it wrong later when playing with them.

He has also become very whingy and often replies to children or adults by screaming at them if something doesn't go his way. For example he was at a party and it was time for food, all the other children sat down, he refused and started screaming at me that he didn't want to and wanted to carry on playing. We have spoken to him about this and I'm a stuck record... please use your words.... maybe I'm expecting a change too quickly but it does seem to be taking time.

He also seems very angry sometimes when asked to do something he doesn't want to, I have been putting this down to testosterone surge but how long realistically does this last?

His pre school don't seem to have any real concerns, he is reading already and loves numbers/maths games but I am concerned that these issues will affect him when starting school and with is social interactions. THey also say that once he is happy with the routine he is happy but he is upset if the routine changes and can sometimes get upset about it, however I have not witnessed this at home myself.

Maybe as he is my PFB I'm just over reacting but would love some feedback from other mums of 4yr olds!

PolterGoose Mon 03-Aug-15 14:47:07

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MrsM42 Tue 11-Aug-15 18:58:34


I would definitely get him checked but I would also request a hearing test. I'm obviously not an expert or anything, but everything you've described could stem from a loss of hearing. If he's not able to repeat anything back to you, or remember names it may simply be that he has not been able to hear or process it properly. Just a suggestion x

Piratejones Tue 11-Aug-15 19:30:02

It's always better to act on these concerns, even if they are dismissed it will be a record of you raising them.

youarekiddingme Tue 11-Aug-15 21:23:24

Always trust your instincts. I did and it took years but finally got the support for my DS.

Ineedmorepatience Thu 13-Aug-15 09:39:57

I agree with the others, trust your gut feeling!

There was an article on here ages ago about how common it is for mothers to know when something is not quite as it should be with their child!

Go to your GP tell him/her what you told us and ask for a referal to a developmental paediatrician.

Good luck flowers

Ineedmorepatience Thu 13-Aug-15 09:40:32

Oh sorry and a hearing test smile

Wrongmoreoftenthannot Mon 24-Aug-15 13:55:41

Thanks all for the replies. I've got a small update.

After posting this my DS's behaviour seemed to start improving. I did take him to the Drs as I wanted to consult and discuss options for referral.

DS was wonderful with the Dr, totally charming and as if I was a total loon for bringing him in!

The Dr checked his ears and was concerned as he felt that they were "very white" inside and has referred us to ENT as he suspects that glue ear is the issue here.

MrsM42 - I think you are spot on. I think the name issue is simply he can't hear it properly and so is asking again and again.

He has been chatting to us and others about things that happened to us on holiday over a year ago and from a holiday in May and seems to have no real issue with long term memory, it really does seem to be names!

We do now have to wait until October for the ENT appt which is frustrating but i'll have to keep his new teacher in the loop I think.

2boysnamedR Wed 26-Aug-15 19:35:55

Hopefully if it's just glue ear, it's easy to fix and improvements are very quick to show

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