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Can you suggest techniques for my friend's daughter?

(8 Posts)
steppemum Wed 29-Jul-15 11:50:47

Hi, my friend's daughter is a bright, intense, quite quirky character. I have been tutoring her for the last few months and the more time goes on, the more I suspect she is high functioning ASD. (lots of small things are making me think this).

I know that mum is really struggling with some of her behaviour at home. In particular she has tantrums that last for hours. From mum's description she winds herself up into a state and then can't get herself out of it.

I am not sure how to suggest to her that she might want to get her assessed, but in the meantime Mum chats to me a lot about parenting techniques, and so I was wondering, if anyone could suggest some strategies that I can give to her that might help? I am obviously not trying to diagnose her daughter, but rather find alternative approaches that would help her to manage her dds behaviour.

Thanks

PolterGoose Wed 29-Jul-15 13:08:10

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

steppemum Wed 29-Jul-15 14:04:46

Thanks poltergoose

Is that book specific to Aspergers?

I think she is pretty typical of girls with aspergers as she doesn't fit the 'boys' profile, so I doubt if it will ever get picked up at school. Added to which she can hold it together at school/club/tutoring, it falls apart at home.

One of my problems is that mum isn't English and the culture she comes from has a very different attitude to any form of disability, so it would be much harder for her to accept I think. The dd's cousin has recently been diagnosed with autism, and the family has been pretty unhelful. Mum herself would probably be OK but Dad and wider family would struggle. Which is ironic, because her dd is very, very like her Dad...

PolterGoose Wed 29-Jul-15 14:39:09

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

zzzzz Wed 29-Jul-15 17:08:23

I'd like to add a word of caution. Disability is viewed very differently in other cultures. The subtle implications of dx or even acknowledgement of difference will be impenetrable to someone outside that dynamic. Trust your friend to choose wisely for her child.

I personally would suggest treating the behaviour with asd type techniques as the upset is lasting so long and disrupting their lives. I wouldn't look for any other outcome,

signandsingcarols Wed 29-Jul-15 17:48:26

I know steppemum in RL (sign waves grin) I had mentioned the amazing 5 point scale as a way of recognising/graduating emotional responses, what do you wise ladies think about that, any use? (if so I can lend a copy via steppemum.)

steppemum Wed 29-Jul-15 20:33:43

I personally would suggest treating the behaviour with asd type techniques as the upset is lasting so long and disrupting their lives. I wouldn't look for any other outcome,

zzz that is exactly what I want to do, for the reasons you suggest. (but you expressed it so much better!)

I used to live in a culture very similar and I understand where she is coming from.

The book sounds good, I have had a look on amazon and I think she would respond well to it. I will have a look at his website too.

and borrow signandsings book (waves grin) lunch was lovely by the way grin

signandsingcarols Wed 29-Jul-15 21:07:49

grin

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