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How to Handle DS's Behaviour??

(5 Posts)
LadyNym Wed 22-Jul-15 08:42:59

DS1 is three and being assessed for ASD (there's no doubt in my mind - it runs in both sides of my family and I suspect in DH's and I know what to look for). He's hard work. He seems to become worse after change in routine (though, he tends to cope with the actual change relatively well). For instance, he'll be going to preschool a couple of days a week after summer and the staff have been amazing about trying to get him used to it (and I've had meetings with the SENCO etc.) and DS loves the actual visits and is good as gold but once we get home and for the next day or two he's a nightmare.

DH had two weeks off holiday and went back to work this week. Well, by the end of yesterday DS1 was almost the worst he's ever been behaviour wise (throwing things constantly and as soon as I took something off him he'd just grab something else; hitting his little brother; hitting, pushing and even biting me; constant shouting and screaming; and just not acknowledging anything I said to him). Maybe it's not connected to his dad being off then going back to work but it would fit.

This morning has already started badly. He was up a lot in the night and has been very loud this morning (the constant noise is possibly the hardest thing to deal with) and has been violent towards DS2 (16 months) and I've already had to confiscate several toys.

It's bad timing because I've just changed my antidepressant to one that treats anxiety, too, and the change has my very tired and spaced right now.

How do I handle him?? He's currently running round with a gun he made from Duplo (I never realised how many guns were in kids' films until I had children!!), which is apparently shooting fire at Vikings!! That's fine because it keeps him from actually being destructive but it won't last long.

PolterGoose Wed 22-Jul-15 10:17:01

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LadyNym Wed 22-Jul-15 11:01:16

Thank you for replying, PolterGoose (I think you have replied to every one of my posts about DS1).

I think I sort of knew there wasn't that much I can do other than be aware of it and weather it out. It's almost nice to hear it in a way. Like, I'm not a bad parent who's failing; it's just one of those things. If that makes sense?

I managed to get DS2 down for a slightly early nap this morning so DS1 and I just wandered round in the garden for a while. I figured he could be as active or not as he liked (we currently live with my parents and they have a very big garden with trampolines, climbing frame, ponds etc.). Now we've got the Playdough out and he's using the plastic scissors my mum got him yesterday to cut up the Playdough so he's actually pretty calm.

He's already looking really tired so I know this afternoon will probably be hard going because he'll either fall asleep, which means he screams and screams when he wakes up, or he'll be shattered and probably take it out on his brother. But, for now, it's nice to sit next to him and have a cup of tea!!

Ineedmorepatience Wed 22-Jul-15 11:14:12

When Dd3 was 3 we still did quite a lot of walks in the buggy if she was having a stressy day! She also continued to nap in the afternoon for an hour. She did wake up grumpy sometimes though.

We used to go to parks really early in the morning when they were quiet and I had a list of the ones with only one gate so I could prevent her escaping.

It must be hard with a little one as well, I bet you are run off your feet!

At the end of the day, children dont need perfect parents! They need us to be good enough! Take some breaks through the day and if he enjoys screen time, let him have it while you rest.

Good luck flowers

LadyNym Wed 22-Jul-15 15:21:15

That's a good point, INeed, about not needing perfect parents. Thanks, I needed to hear that (or read it, even).

I don't drive so getting anywhere (like the park) is pretty difficult. DS2 has just decided he loves climbing and spends all day every day right now climbing on the dining room table via chairs (that he's learned to move), or onto the kitchen counter from the dining room! Of course, that's when he's not being followed by DS1, who doesn't 'get' personal space and likes to 'play' by rolling on/leaning on/flopping on people.

Ah well, only four hours 'til their bedtime!

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