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Tips needed for my ASD daughter

(4 Posts)
Mindymum Thu 16-Jul-15 18:54:13

My dd is 4 and is starting school in September. Although I've been incredibly anxious about her starting, her reception teacher/ta and the pre-school she currently attends have been fantastic. Also what really puts my mind at rest is the school currently have a child on a 1:1 (who will be in her class) and the lady who helps him has a ds with ASD, as well as working with children in ASD.
Her taster sessions at school have gone really well and yesterday she ran in happily.

My number one issue with her, is her relationship with me. With everyone else she is much more positive and strategies they put in place for her really work. My dh does so much more with her than I do and doesn't get the behaviours that I experience with her.

She is developmentally delayed in all areas, but is making progress. And although her behaviour is worse with me, it isn't quite as bad.

With me, if she wants to go home from somewhere, she repeats words over and over again, quite distressed and it takes quite a while to calm her down. She's loud with it too. It's really frustrating because she just doesn't do it with anyone else.
She's going to a small party this weekend and I know she'll go on and on. Yet with my dh, she wouldn't. Part of me feels tempted to not going, but on the other hand she's missing out.
If I have people round she's the same and it puts me on edge.

So any tips would be great. So far, I've tried ignoring, getting cross, talking to her calmly, trying to distract. But nothing really seems to work!

Tissie Fri 17-Jul-15 17:25:50

Your DD is doing a lot of masking to present a "normal" appearance. You are the person who loves her unconditionally so she can let her hair down with you. However that doesn't take away from the fact that this is very stressful for you. I have unashamedly pinched these recommendations form poltergoose who is amazingly knowledgeable. Go onto the web site for www.pdasociety.org.uk and doenlaod their positive PDA booklet which has stategies for dealing or pm me and I'll email you a copy. The following books may also be useful
The Out of Sync Child

Too Loud Too Bright Too Fast Too Tight

Sensory Profile Toolkit - if you only can afford one book buy this for £4 from Autism West Midlands, it's a great little resource that will help you identify and develop your own sensory diet.

Web resources

Sensory Integration Network
This is also pinched from Poltergoose. I hope it helps. Tissie

PolterGoose Fri 17-Jul-15 17:35:41

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Ineedmorepatience Fri 17-Jul-15 18:17:10

I wasnt sure whether to say this but here goes!!

The child with 1:1, the 1:1 should be used for that child and should not be relied upon to support your Dd too! That is not allowed [but it is done in many settings]

I think you should be asking for support for your Dd. If your Dd is struggling and the child with the 1:1 is elsewhere in the school either your Dd is not going to get the help she needs or the 1:1 will be taken away from the child who is supposed to recieve it! Its wrong and they shouldnt be making out that it isnt!

I am sorry if that sounds harsh but you are at the beginning of a very long road and I dont want it to be horrible for you or your Dd sad

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