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DD with ASD and Secondary School Friendships

(10 Posts)
FiveHoursSleep Sun 21-Jun-15 21:24:36

DD2 is finishing Y7 and has not made any friends at school this year.
She is high functioning but is interested in My Little Pony and Dr Who, not fashion and shopping, and although I'd consider her 'quirky' , I can see why the girls in her class find her odd sad
Her classmates tolerate her at school, and are mainly kind to her but she is never invited to anything out of school and if she asks other girls to the movies etc, they say no.
She is a July baby, so quite immature socially and emotionally, although physically she looks older.
She would love a friend who wanted to spend time with her outside of school, but those of you with DDs with ASD, what has been your child's experience of friendship at this age?
Is she more likely to make friends when she's older? She's chatty and sociable, but stands too close, talks too much, doesn't let the other person have their say, says embarrassing things etc, etc.
It's hard watching her and I know she's lonely.
It doesn't help that her older sister is only one year ahead of her and is popular and a social butterfly but won't let DD2 hang around with her and her friends.

PolterGoose Sun 21-Jun-15 21:32:22

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TheFirstOfHerName Sun 21-Jun-15 21:48:33

My DD has no diagnosis but traits of ADD & dyspraxia. She is also very young for her age and quirky. She still plays with her My Little Ponies and enjoys Dr Who. Your DD sounds lovely. My DD will be starting Y7 at the same school in September. If it wouldn't be too embarrassing for your DD to have a friend in the year below, we could orchestrate 'bumping into each other' in Intu or C.park (or somewhere else convenient for you) and go for a milkshake and see what happens. PM me if you think it might work. I won't be at all offended if you don't.

PolterGoose Sun 21-Jun-15 21:51:48

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

thornrose Sun 21-Jun-15 21:55:40

I'm not going to bother posting, I see a beautiful friendship emerging. grin

FiveHoursSleep Sun 21-Jun-15 21:56:35

OH wow First, that would be a great idea. I have wondered if she will be better off in Y8 as she has always been better with younger kids. Maybe let your DD settle in and let me know what class she is in, then we'll discuss is next term. If your DD is doing okay socially, she might not want to hang around with my DD.
I don't want to be negative about the school, they have been very supportive of DD and I do think she would struggle no matter where she went. She's found the moving between classrooms and having to be organised thing a real challenge.
Dd does lots of clubs, she likes classics and Choir, orchestra, Glee club etc ( She loves singing and has a nice voice). She uses her phone to wind down after school and listens to music, draws and writes fanfic on it.

TheFirstOfHerName Sun 21-Jun-15 22:14:17

DD loves singing and plays the flute, so hopefully they might find each other naturally in choir/orchestra. She also loves art & drawing, so will be up for any art clubs. I will try to PM you a photo so your DD knows who to look out for.

She's found the moving between classrooms and having to be organised thing a real challenge.
The thing I am most worried about with DD is her getting lost and losing/forgetting stuff. She is extremely absent-minded and her sense of direction is non-existent. It will take her the better part of Y7 to find her way around the building in L.Close with the Y7 classrooms, let alone the rest of the school. And don't get me started on the bus journey...

DS2 (who has AS) is in Y8 and he does have friends at school but those friendships don't extend to meeting out of school. DS1 is sociable and neurotypical, but didn't start an out-of-school social life until Y9/Y10. I think that for every socially confident child meeting up with friends to go shopping or go to the cinema, there are at least the same number of less socially confident children sitting at home on their own.

TheFirstOfHerName Sun 21-Jun-15 22:20:18

This was taken a couple of weeks ago. I have sent you her name in a PM.

FiveHoursSleep Wed 24-Jun-15 09:27:14

Actually things seem to have improved a little on the friend front since they came back from their y7 residential. DD wasn't put with any of the girls she asked to share with but some other odds and sods and it seems that she's hit it off with a few of these smile
We'll see if it lasts.

TheFirstOfHerName Wed 24-Jun-15 13:46:41


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