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Bullying, school being 'forgetful'

(3 Posts)
CatherineOfAbdomen Sat 16-May-15 09:28:07

I have re-posted this here on the advice of the lovely Bursary mum.
I'll try and keep this brief, but don't want to drip feed or out myself..
DD year 8 has had some issues with 3 girls at school, one in particular who has a sidekick to back her up, with the occasional 3rd girl who joins in when the mood takes her. It has mainly been nasty comments, attempts to exclude from activities etc, the usual stuff. DD has tried to ignore, walk away, but the girls concerned accuse her of being rude, so she has now started to hold her ground. All 4 girls have seen the year head who has tried to get them to make peace or leave each other alone.

My dd however is a bit of a loner (many aspies traits) and struggles with the complexities of friendships, if any of the other girls are on their own for whatever reason, they seek out my dd to fill their otherwise lonely lunch hour. She then thinks they are her friend, once the 2 or 3 have regrouped they are as bad as ever and she doesn't know if she is coming or going?

DD was pushed by the main ringleader this week, which in itself wouldn't be too bad ony she is recovering from major surgery and has to be very careful.
DD went to speak to head about it the next day. In the mean time, unbeknownst to my dd, the girl had already gone to the year head to complain that my dd had hurt her feelings over a lunchtime comment about a cornish pasty confused.

When questioned in the corridor by the year head, the girl said she nudged her but only after being pushed first, her friend backed her up.
My dd said when she was pushed she was caught by a classmate (who may or may not have seen what occurred ? so she might be able to substantiate what happened. The school are denying my dd told them this, are considering the matter closed and are not talking to anyone else regarding the matter.

School have contacted me, made quite a big deal about the nastiness regarding cornish pasty-gate and have expressed concern about my dd's isolation and lack of friendships.
They are sticking to the nudge story as 'they have no CCTV to see what really happened'
I want to go in and ask why they appear to be brushing it under the carpet, but I don't know whether I am making something out of nothing, as at the moment I am hyper protective of my dd as she has been through so much for the last 2 years with her illness.
I would appreciate some feedback (please be gentle)

blankgaze Sat 16-May-15 10:46:44

Sorry but there's not a very gentle way to put this, but you appear to have a stark choice, that school is less than useless for your dd's needs.

You can spend your dd's school life remonstrating with school that they shouldn't allow xyz to happen (because they never prevent anything) and they need to step up to the plate, which based on past experience they haven't, so what makes you think they will start now?

Or you can look for other schools for her to have a kinder environment for the rest of her education.

I'd honestly look for somewhere else for her to have an education she deserves, and I speak as the parent of a bullied child on the spectrum.

CatherineOfAbdomen Sat 16-May-15 12:00:15

There is no way she would transfer to another school, but I can't really argue against the logic of what you are saying.
I'm sorry you have had a similar experience.

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