Teacher told me at pick up that DS has been sanctioned twice today so he's being sent to headteacher tomorrow, for fidgeting and doodling when he should have been listening. DS is 9, in Yr 5, and this is the school policy, after a warning you get 5 mins off breaktime and if several in one week, sent to head. This is the second time this has happened this year.
DS has ASD traits (and possibly ADD) and is on the Inclusion leader's list, on waiting list to be assessed at a unit for Aspergers. He's always had issues with not paying attention, being easily distracted, amongst other things. We lived in Singapore from when he started school until almost 2 years ago, where he went to an international school. He had lots of difficulties and had sessions with a private child therapy centre, but no official diagnosis, as there would have been no advantage in getting one. His therapist thought he was 'subdiagnostic' but with definite issues: 'black and white' thinking, difficulty reading social cues, emotionally immature and easily cries, high IQ (previous teacher told me he was gifted) and v early reader but struggles with handwriting, very disorganised and forgetful, worries about things... I could go on, but I don't want to write an essay.
So at pick-up, DS was in tears and had been crying at school since this happened. He was inconsolable at home, dreading tomorrow, wishes he could change schools (he usually likes his teachers even when he's been in trouble, but he really doesn't like this one, who seems very strict). I did remind the teacher that he finds it hard not to fidget and that he's waiting to be assessed, so the teacher suggested giving him a 'fidget' thing to hold under his desk. But it seems being sent to the head is non-negotiable.
As we were leaving school I told DS I would go to the office to ask to speak to the head, but he begged me not to, as he's scared that it will make his teacher even harder on him.
I then thought I would try to speak to the Inclusion lady tomorrow morning - maybe she could be present at DS's 'telling off' by the head and be on his side a bit? What do you think? He's due to go to the head at lunchtime. Last time this happened he spent the whole morning at school worrying about seeing the head, and so, of course, didn't stay focused on his work and got another warning.
This is a big urban state primary, and I was told last year that the Inclusion person had a big list of other kids with more serious difficulties than DS's. I've heard nothing from the Inclusion leader since October when she sent off his details to the assessment unit. I suppose I need to get more pushy (sigh).
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How to deal with this? DS v upset as he's being sent to headteacher tomorrow - for 'fidgeting and doodling'
8 replies
BiscuitMillionaire · 14/05/2015 22:55
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