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DD (8 years) has no friends ...

(5 Posts)
josben Sun 01-Mar-15 22:52:29

I feel very down about it, she has struggled with friendships since she started in reception, and has additional TA help as she has mild learning difficulties/developmental delay...

She basically stands in the queue for her class in the morning and no other children speak to her....

I know she is young for her age and a lot of the girls in her year act much older than their years. I just don't know what to do for the best. DD seems happy at school but i know she does not really have any mates, she rarely gets party invites...

I am not saying that she is perfect, I know that she has a temper and she probably struggles with taking turns etc... so this may be why she is not included in friendship circles... Plus I don't think she finds socialising easy, her Year 1 teacher thought she had Aspergers and DD was referred to the Paed

DD has 2 older brothers and i sometimes wonder if it doesn't help that she has brothers and not sisters, or is it something that i am not doing to help her nurture a circle of friends,...?

I don't know what to do ... I have had various girls back for play dates but DD doesn't have many invites back. In fact i have given up with the play dates, which is not good i know - i think i will start again next week...

I have looked at another smaller school nearby but this seems like such a big change to make especially as she will start Year 5 in September and she is settled...

I think that DD is content at school, she doesn't complain about things - I just really worry about her...

Another thing is that when she is at home she is obsessed with watching the TV and so this causes friction...

Educationally, she is making steady progress but she does struggle with her concentration, her teacher has brought this up a lot recently...

I am not sure what I can do to her DD and this situation...? sad
Any advice appreciated x

Tunna Mon 02-Mar-15 06:39:21

My DS is the same age and has the same issues, although he does have a dx of ASD. The school have been very good but it has taken a lot of intervention and input from others to get to this point. The SALT stated he would benefit from a social skills program, and the EP said the school should be modelling appropriate social interactions, and establish socially supportive groups like circle of friends and nurture sessions with other kids facing similar problems.

We also take him to swimming class and beavers once a week to build up his social skills.

Part of the problem is that DS enjoys his own company and doesn't always seek friendship, particularly at break times he likes to wander around on his own thinking.

I'd recommend you go back to your school and raise your concerns again with the SENco. They can refer to the appropriate services and put in strategies to help in the classroom.

Good luck and let us know how you get on smile

senvet Mon 02-Mar-15 12:37:08

I would get a clear picture from the school of what her social communication is like.
Then if she is not making much successful contact in the playground, think about asking them to get an EP in to observe her in the playground - class is easier socially than things like play time and lunch time, so class observation alone would not be enough.

How about finding either younger or older friends? She might be great at helping with eg a Rainbows group where the little ones will look up to her.
And then an older friend who would take her under her wing might work.

Hope this helps

fairgame Mon 02-Mar-15 19:47:37

Do school do any social groups or circle of friends that she can join?
Most schools run some sort of small groups for children who struggle socially.

Are there any after school groups that she can join or any groups for children disabilties/learning difficulties?
Maybe have a look on the local offer page for your LA for groups and clubs.

Coralmary Tue 13-Mar-18 14:31:39

My 8 year old granddaughter has developmental delays and learning difficulties. We are in the process of getting her into a special school( after a lot of heartache for three years. Her education is being looked at but it is her social life which is also a worry. My daughter was upset yesterday as no one wanted to play with my granddaughter as she wants to play at someone being a baby.and she would change their nappy and rock them to sleep. Quite naturally the children did not want to play this game and thought my granddaughter was weird . This is becoming more and more the response of other children. She is never invited to other children’s houses and my daughter has stopped asking them to her house as they do not want to come. We have tried desperately to get her to play more age appropriate games but with me, grandad and Mum all she wants to play pretend babies or hospitals when we have to have gas and injections and lie down. She has spent some time in hospital but we think it is time she added somethings to her play repertoire . It is sad to see her on her own . Her brother who is nearly ten is asking questions about why she is like she is often mean to her. He is very sociable but his friends are starting to comment. Any ideas to help us with this problem.

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