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Ineed an update!!!

(98 Posts)
Ineedmorepatience Fri 09-Jan-15 16:10:17

It was ajourned until May!!!

Panel were really good again and very knowledgeable but school made a massive thing about how well she is doing and how she doesn't seem to need support!!

I repeated numerous times that she is masking and starting to fall apart at home but the panel felt that because she is in a new school, they should have more time to gather more evidence!!!

Shame because I felt it was going well too sad

streakybacon Fri 09-Jan-15 16:16:31

Oh bugger sad.

You'll be needing this wine.

Keep making notes till May. Record EVERYTHING and be prepared. I'm disappointed for you that you didn't get a better outcome today sad.

Tunna Fri 09-Jan-15 16:30:21

Oh no sad

I get that they need to cover all bases, but it's another 6 months that you and your DS have to keep on struggling [mad]

agree with Streaky, & be on high alert for any 'amazing progress' reports by the school.

On a positive note, there will be a spotlight on your DS now, so maybe they'll start to pick up on all the things you've highlighted.

The Goose Army is behind you honking and flapping no matter how long the journey takes smile

Ineedmorepatience Fri 09-Jan-15 16:35:05

Thanks both, funnily enough she bought me a bit more evidence home today!!!

Just keep swimming, flapping and honking!!!

OneInEight Fri 09-Jan-15 16:50:48

how frustrating - I wish they would understand the damage to a child's mental health when their needs are unsupported at school. I guess the only positive you can take from it that is was not an absolute no.

streakybacon Fri 09-Jan-15 17:01:51

Also keep any evidence from outside of school, to show how poorly she copes with extra-curricular activities (if she does any?) due to being so stressed from school. Everything will help.

Any time she mentions school negatively, like being worried about going in on a Monday or particular lessons, write it down as quotes. I imagine they'll be hard pressed to ignore a child's own words.

2boysnamedR Fri 09-Jan-15 17:02:31

That's just poop. I'm surprised really. Make this work in your favour

PolterGoose Fri 09-Jan-15 17:26:33

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Ineedmorepatience Fri 09-Jan-15 17:44:08

One I know I went on and on about preserving her mental health! But yes it wasnt a "No!!"

Streaky, she does attend 2 after school clubs but has barely been since september sad I will be keeping a detailed record! And a diary about how she is coping before and after school!

2boys I know my Rep was stunned, he nearly fell off his chair!!

polter Chinese takeaway tonight, followed by cake smile

Thankyou everyone smile

bjkmummy Fri 09-Jan-15 17:44:52

I just don't know what to say - its also the stress of it carrying on until may as well isn't it! sending you a huge virtual glass of wine and a big bar of chocolate

Ineedmorepatience Fri 09-Jan-15 17:48:58

I know bjk!! I think I can drink "vitual wine" wink I need something tonight!!

Pixellator Fri 09-Jan-15 18:11:58

So sorry to hear that you are left without a decision. Like the others said, at least you can use the time to collect any further evidence you need. Sending wine for you.

2boysnamedR Fri 09-Jan-15 18:16:21

Mine was adjourned, it certainly up ted the stress notch. Really it worked out to my advantage dispite the LA dirty tatics ( not informing the senco so he could adjourn).

It's six months to prove yet more no progress ( unless dd suddenly wakes up a genius who loves school in the meantime - I alway live in hope ds will - he happily stays ds;0)

Are you going to get costs back? Mention it to sendist

homework Fri 09-Jan-15 18:17:03

In may they then can't not make a decision as will have had plenty of time for school to gather information , she started in sept so will have been there nearly a year plenty of time for school to know her strengths/ weaknesses and everything in-between , they should already know her if she been there for about six months already .
You also need to gather as much information , reports , to strengthen your case as well , maybe even pay to have her mental health assessed by a physiologist to show how this is affecting her . You don't necessary have to continue with treatment , if you can't afford regular sessions . Ours worked out at cost of a family meal out in a nice restaurant , so not that expensive .

streakybacon Fri 09-Jan-15 18:17:50

Is there anything else she would like to be doing outside of school, but you don't want to sign her up for it as you suspect she wouldn't cope? It's all evidence if there is. And get something in writing from group leaders, if possible, about what she's like when there.

pannetone Fri 09-Jan-15 18:19:47

Sorry that it was adjourned Ineed - it is all such a long drawn out process and as you say, not only stressful for us as parents but for our DC's mental health. In the case of my DS3 who fell apart after one term of secondary (this time last year) we got the statement in Dec but it is so poorly written we are about to put in an appeal. In the meantime DS is out of school and increaingly unhappy about it.

How is your DD? How aware is she of the tribunal stuff?

streakybacon Fri 09-Jan-15 18:20:35

Sorry yours was adjourned 2boys. It's a dirty game they play, isn't it?

I agree with homework about logging mental health concerns. Before we deregistered to HE, our GP signed ds off for a week due to 'extreme emotional distress' and the note she wrote is on record in his statement and EHCP. It all adds up.

ouryve Fri 09-Jan-15 18:50:29

Aaaaargh! wine

Yep. Keep on logging and diarising. Hoping it works in your favour, since this time of year has always been the low point for DS1. He was quite poorly, at this time last year - ticcing, scratching, not sleeping and constantly ready to explode.

uggerthebugger Fri 09-Jan-15 19:09:17

I'm so sorry to hear this, ineed flowers

No, scratch that, I'm fucking livid.

The panel feel more evidence is needed because your DD is in a new school. I don't know whether this decision is valid or not. I suspect it's not valid at all. I suspect it just reflects a degree of willing credulousness and useful idiocy. But what the fuck do I know?

But I'm pretty sure of one thing - the panel could have quite easily made this decision to adjourn in the run-up to the hearing. Sparing you and your family at least some of the stress you've been under over the last few days. Possibly even giving you a Christmas that you could actually enjoy. And, I'm guessing, saving you a fuck-tonne of money too, as you'd only have to pay for witnesses once.

I've met a few panel members. I've met some that know their shit, in a narrow, quasi-theological, quote-the-SENCoP-verses sense. But I've never met -one not one - that understands the pressures and strains that parents withstand when they go to Tribunal.

When parents take on publicly-funded employees on their home turf. When parents with no time or energy to spare step miles out of their comfort zone to secure the most basic rights for their children. When parents face attacks on their competence, motives or character from people who are nominally paid to ensure their kids get the education they are entitled to.

In short, I've never met a panel member who gets what this is about for us. What we invest, and what we have to lose when we go through this. And this much I know - I've never met one who would last five fucking minutes in our shoes.

Imagine what these people would do if it was their elderly mother's care in question here. Imagine them listening to the pious intonations that more evidence is needed. That the under-resourced care organisation just need a bit more time to absolutely prove that they can't do the job. Imagine them hearing that no-one can't be sure whether the number of piss-infused cold sores on their mother's body has grown or not. That their mum's cry for help is just what all women of a certain age do, she - and the whole family - just needs to show more resilience for now. That as she hasn't reached rock-fucking-bottom yet, we'll give it a bit longer to prove it beyond reasonable doubt.

I wonder what they'd do.

billiejeanbob Fri 09-Jan-15 19:24:58

I'm so sorry to hear that your hearing was adjourned ineed sad .

I know how it feels - ours was also adjourned and I felt like I had been smacked in the face, it was emotionally harrowing.

To give you some hope, we were still successful in obtaining all of our requested provision. The LA did not present well when we went back to tribunal and they were clearly clutching at straws, raising issues about withdrawl from class when they hadn't previously mentioned this (this was referred to in the decision. The judge deemed their case inconsistent. )

Has the Judge ordered a staggered evidence deadline where the LA have to submit first and you have an extended time ? (ours was 2 weeks later than the LA's)
Make sure you submit responses to the new LA evidence from all of your indie experts.
But for tonight I think you need a bottle of wine and some thanks .
Good luck!

Ineedmorepatience Fri 09-Jan-15 19:57:11

Lots to think about thankyou all smile

I will start my diary again, take Dd3 to the GP everytime she is struggling with anxiety and if she school refuses, I will email school every single time there is an issue relating to her SN's and I will look for someone to do psychological evaluation.

She teetered on the edge of school refusal a few times last term and missed most of the last 2 weeks due to an illness that lasted much longer than it should have done!

Hey ho, no doubt this is not the end! 2 schools have failed her already due to not recognising when she is in dire need of support! This school has yet to show that they are going to step up. They are currently still expecting Dd3 to go and ask for help and this quite simply is not going to happen!

And so it goes on!

bjkmummy Fri 09-Jan-15 20:01:35

how far into the hearing did you get before they decided they would adjourn?

2boysnamedR Fri 09-Jan-15 20:06:47

Well said ugger.

Ineedmorepatience Fri 09-Jan-15 20:06:59

About 2 hrs!!

youarekiddingme Fri 09-Jan-15 20:10:07

Sorry to hear this. I'm sure you'll keep up the evidence.
Emails are your friend I've found!

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