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Dd very aware of her meltdowns says 'don't make me scream' tries to stuff it in when others around... Any advice?

(17 Posts)
greener2 Sat 27-Dec-14 11:47:49

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PolterGoose Sat 27-Dec-14 17:49:07

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greener2 Sat 27-Dec-14 19:36:45

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Upandatem Sat 27-Dec-14 19:41:13

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PolterGoose Sat 27-Dec-14 20:14:49

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blanklook Sun 28-Dec-14 17:56:17

Do you know what the stressors are? She's showing such a lot of self-awareness for her age and trying to give you clues, telling you to stop making her stressed.

Do you have a quiet corner or a sensory comfort corner she can go to at home when she gets an inkling things are going to pan out like this?

Re the rigidity 'you are making me scream' when it sounds as though she can't get her own way, or more likely things don't happen as she's anticipated, is there any flexibility you can accustom her to with these situations?
It doesn't work with all kids on the spectrum, and it's far from being a quick fix, much more a long slow drip-feed over years, but I've always introduced a variety of options about what will happen from her being quite young, e.g. on being asked if I will come and watch xyzTVprogramme with her, Yes, I will watch xyzTV programme with you unless someone phones (fixed-to-wall landline) or knocks on the door. I will deal with interruptions as quickly as I can, but I may not see the whole of xyzTVprogramme with you.

That eventually helped my dd to cope when things she'd planned were going to happen had to be changed, sometimes at the last minute, because of unexpected circumstances.
It's not a foolproof strategy and it's not 100% successful but we've found it helpful.

greener2 Sun 28-Dec-14 22:23:36

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greener2 Sun 28-Dec-14 22:25:51

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greener2 Sun 28-Dec-14 22:27:06

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greener2 Mon 29-Dec-14 14:31:01

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sweetteamum Mon 29-Dec-14 16:37:58

My DD, 13, also says this so much. Thank you for asking the question. It's helpful to see that others have similar issues

Tbh I think you did right. I personally believe our ds still need to share etc and don't think you were being unreasonable at all

Upandatem Wed 31-Dec-14 11:33:50

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Upandatem Wed 31-Dec-14 11:35:51

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foggy99 Tue 06-Jan-15 02:35:30

Thank you so much for starting this thread. My son has ASD and his behaviour is very like your daughter's. He has melt-downs when he doesn't get his own way immediately and can be extremely rude to me and his Dad. He likes to play with my step-son who is 12 and who doesn't always want to play with him - cue melt down. He wants ice-cream for dessert but there isn't any - cue melt down. He is also able to control himself if eg nana is within hearing distance and is well behaved at school. He does find it stressful being 'good' and is over worried about getting told off at school. He too wasn't sure if Santa would come for him as he didn't think he'd been good enough.

I know what you mean about normal parenting techniques not working. I've ordered all the books recommended above. This is the first time I've looked to see if other families are having these issues. I had always described my son as being on the 'milder' end of ASD and wasn't sure what behaviour was ASD or not or what to do about it. The melt downs and shouting are so extreme that I knew this had to be the ASD but didn't know what to do about it.

I'm sorry I don't have anything useful to advise but just wanted to say thank you SO much for starting this thread. I hope your daughter enjoyed Christmas.

greener2 Tue 06-Jan-15 20:09:52

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senvet Tue 06-Jan-15 21:58:01

Have you had any expert referrals at all? GP suggested anything? School?

greener2 Wed 07-Jan-15 19:56:58

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