DS has ASD. I'm feeling really overwhelmed today

[Lifejustis]

Hi. More of a luker than a poster. I've found this board immensely helpful. DS (2.9) was diagnosed with ASD and sensory processing disorder recently. I'd suspected for a few months prior to the diagnosis that he did have ASD, so it wasn't a complete shock.

Most days I'm coping okay, I also have a DD who is 7 months old and there are already some concerns about her, about not recognising me sometimes (sometimes I take DS out for medical appointments and when I come back DD doesn't respond to me but she always responds to DH). Although paediatrician has said it's too early to be too concerned.

I go through most days okay, cope okay, but sometimes I'm completely overwhelmed, I think it's the uncertainty about what the future holds.

Just feeling quite sad today. Sorry for the ramble. Any advice on how to get through these moments or how to 'get a grip' as I need to stay strong for the DC. Thanks

[Tunna]

Hi lifejustis

Everyone feels overwhelmed at times, even without SN raising 2 young children is hard work!

I'll go and do a shout out in the G&C for mums with young kids who may be able to help.

Is there any particular part that you're finding most difficult?

[AliceinWinterWonderland]

Hi lifejustis Feel free to join us on the pub chat thread as well. Sometimes it helps just to rant, vent, whatever. I have days where I am just mentally and emotionally wiped out - it's difficult sometimes, and we all go through it.

I do stress about the future, but try to take things as they come, not looking too far ahead, as it's so unpredictable I otherwise find myself just worrying over "what ifs" instead of actual issues IYSWIM.

Sorry you're struggling.

[AliceinWinterWonderland]

Pub chat thread. It's a "just join in and chat" thread - everyone is very friendly. It's always ongoing and a new one is started every week.

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/special_needs_chat/2257761-The-Festive-Goose-and-Carrot-chesnuts-roasting-on-an-open-fire-12-12?pg=1

[Lifejustis]

Thanks Tunna and Alice. I think what I'm finding really difficult is the unpredictability and changes in DS's behaviour and symptoms and how best to help him. He genuinely gets distressed about certain things and sometimes I can't identify a trigger. I also feel like I don't give much attention to DD and she just sort of tags along to DS's medical appointments. I also took extended maternity leave & career break after DS and I have to go back to work next year. Now I don't think I can as DS won't really be with anyone other than me. We hired a nanny as I was going to be back at work but I don't think I can go back. It's all the uncertainties.

Thanks for the pub thread link.

[AliceinWinterWonderland]

When I can't identify a trigger, I try to just narrow it down a bit - like mentally cross off what it doesn't appear to be - figuring that eventually I'll have ruled most stuff out and eventually I'll figure it out. I may never really get the trigger, but sometimes I can get it down to a few different things, so I just avoid those things, just in case. I know - not ideal, but sometimes you do what you have to do to get by. Not sure if that helps at all, but I figure then I can say to myself "well, I didn't get to the bottom of it all, but I've at least narrowed it down." Makes it SOUND a bit more positive anyway.

[LostMyBaubles]

Hi,
Im in a very much similar position to yourself.
I havr ds1 who is 4 is asd plus ? Adhd.he has other health issues including severe reflux and other gastric issues and immune problems.
hes the hardest. Currently going through a very violent phase and is very touchy.

Ds2 is 16months. Concerns about him too.he had prproblems with his chest and skull.
Ds3 is 4months.
Its very bloody hard. Some days I want to sit and cry but the thing we have to remember is we are our children's voices, their strengths. It's ok to cry. Its ok to feel shit sometimes.
the pub saved my sanity and they are lovely .
Chin up.

pop over and have a chat.
The best thing is an ipad and cbeebies or disney channel.

[Lifejustis]

Thanks Polter and Alice. It's good to hear it does get easier. Thanks Alice about narrowing possible triggers down. I'll definitely start doing that.

Also any advice please on what I should be really focusing on? DS has private weekly SALT and OT. His diagnosis was done privately. our first NHS community paediatrican appointment is this coming week and no idea how long a NHS diagnosis will take. No one would take my concerns seriously and we ended up going private. Now that we have private diagnosis, we've got a referral for NHS SALT who specialises in ASD and NHS OT. DS also does 3 mornings a week at nursery although I've been asked to pick him up early on occasions.

What should I be really focusing on and learning about? What key things should I be doing with DS? I've got books like more than words, out of sync child. I've applied for early bird programme although next course is only in September.

Sorry, I'm rambling again! Thank you for all your kind words.

[Lifejustis]

Hi Lostmybaubles. I'm sorry you are going through a similar situation as well. Thanks for your advice, I need to keep remembering that I am my son's voice. It's just been one of those days.

[Lifejustis]

Thanks PolterGoose