I know I've been a bit quiet the last week or so. Just trying to get my head around things as well as some other stuff going on (to those who've pm'd me I'm so sorry for not replying - I'll be doing it ASAP).
We have the HV coming this morning to do a further assessment on DS2 after his 2 year check a couple of weeks ago. She said that once she's done this she'll decide whether to refer him to the CDC.
I don't even know what to hope for. On one hand I'd like for him to do really well and for me to be overreacting. On the other hand I want him to do really badly so she refers him - really don't want a huge battle.
Argh! They have to score 50 or over to be referred (scored in multiples of 5). He scored 45.
The HV is going to talk to the speech therapist we saw in drop in last week as she's recommending he's referred. And then she'll let me know what's decided.
The frustrating thing is that it really does depend on the questions. Had they asked some thing like 'does he like to get messy?' he'd have scored over 50. It just so happens that he scored low on the questions that were asked.
What I'm thinking at the moment is to wait til she's spoken to the SALT and see if a referral is forthcoming after that (which realistically probably won't be til the new year). He's also due to start nursery in January. What I'm thinking is while I will obviously have to say something about his speech as I need to explain his signs, I won't say I have concerns about anything else. Then wait to see if they raise any concerns without me already putting the idea out there. If they raise concerns it might be taken a bit more seriously than just coming from me.
Just sending you HHH3 I totally understand the weird contradiction of feelings you describe.
I had to push hard for the GP to refer DD for paeds assessment. He really didn't see any of the things that concern me, he just thought she was shy, but obviously we were only there for 10 mins!
The SALT should be able to refer to the CDC themselves. That might be the best route for you if you get no joy from the HV. These things seem to take bloody ages even once you're on the waiting list (we haven't heard anything about our appointment yet) so I would probably want to avoid even more waiting about.
it took me a few trips (over several month) to the GP to get referred though. but HV was adamant that Dd that she would not refer so I kept bothering the GP. Dd was dx within 9 months of being referred with severe autism and severe s&l disorder. really shows how little GPs and HV actually understand about developmental issues in children.
I would go back to GP. can you take your DP along? My GP referred my finally when I dragged DH along (suppose it was not a case anymore then of paranoid mum syndrome).
Refer yourself. Seriously. Ask the HV for the name of the person she would have referred you to if she had asked the questions that would have scored him at over 50 and then write to them directly explaining why you believe your child is worthy of a referral and that the questions were more of a fluke and too blunt an instrument for the complexity of your child's difficulties.
Research symptoms of various developmental disorders and anything that jumps out at you as like your child, list it, with one or two real life examples of how this manifests itself.
The reason I'm telling you to do this is because you're not on here saying 'oh, thank god. I'm a neurotic mother with poor parenting skills and there is nothing wrong with my child', you're here saying 'I KNOW there is something that needs looking into and it has been missed'.
You need to refuse to take no for an answer. Your child is not a statistic or a product of policy. He is a child who may need some help which will be easier to sort now than later on.