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Here are some suggested organisations that offer expert advice on special needs.

Here are some suggested organisations that offer expert advice on special needs.

SN children

LA asking someone for my DS's views

25 replies

sweetteamum · 10/12/2014 07:25

DS is currently home tutored (by LA) as he didn't manage the whole high school transition thing.

Had emergency Annual Review last month. However as we've asked for specialist placement they appear to be stalling for some reason.

Anyway, yesterday I received a call from someone who previously assessed DS (and saw few issues), initially saying she'd been asked by LA to assess him again. During the conversation this changed to getting DS's views. I was told I could wait in the waiting room or go into our local town, rather than sitting in on this 'thing'

I've no doubt DD will say the easiest things and what they want to hear, just so they'll be able to use it against me.

What do I do? Should I pre warn them that he's not usually one for talking about his feelings and sometimes doesn't relate to them himself.

Help, I'm worried

OP posts:

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BigBird69 · 10/12/2014 08:49

I would phone your parent partnership (or ipsea) for advice on this. I am not sure why they are saying you shouldn't be there and personally I wouldn't feel happy with that.

Ohmygrood · 10/12/2014 08:52

Why can't you give ds's views? I wouldn't be happy with that either.

NoRunAround · 10/12/2014 09:53

It is so infuriating when professionals do this. Have a read of Case 14 from Ipsea's asset libraries:

Ipsea Case 14

streakybacon · 10/12/2014 10:52

If they're reassessing they'll be using the EHCP format, which includes the child's views and their aspirations, what they see as problem areas, where they want help etc. If that's the case, you'll get your opportunity to submit parent views as well, and there should be a Person Centred Planning meeting to include everyone who's involved with your son, including him and you. I found it a useful way to make sure everyone fully understood the issues and they weren't making stereotypical assumptions, but I still had to keep nagging them to bear in mind what we'd discussed.

zen1 · 10/12/2014 11:12

I would make sure you have an impartial person in the meeting to take detailed notes of everything that is said. I have heard of cases where the LA use very leading questions to determine the 'views' of children/young people. As you say, often DC will say the easiest things as they have little insight and are open to manipulation. Also, if you have any written evidence that your child may not able to accurately express their views or that they change their views depending on who is talking to them, it may help.

sweetteamum · 10/12/2014 16:27

I really don't have any issues with them taking his views. I just know how things can be worded to make the answer one they want to hear.

This isn't for an EHCP and he's not being transferred over to that yet. This has all been since Annual Review and him being out of school, from the info they've currently said.

I do have an advocate who has said I'm entitled to go in with him. And suggested, beforehand, that I will not interfere but if I find anything to complain about that I'll say it in another phone call.

The problem with getting his views are:

He hates his differences so says what he wants, rather than how things are

He will be led by the person in charge as that's the way he is with new people

He is not self aware and rarely recognises his emotions, so I'm not even sure he'll understand many of his feelings.

Eeeek!

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streakybacon · 10/12/2014 17:04

IMO you need to get all of that written down and shared so that it's known he won't give an accurate reflection of his views. They can't possibly meet his needs if they are relying on him to tell what they are. I expect input from others involved, and you too, will balance it out.

sweetteamum · 10/12/2014 19:32

Think that's something I'll get done tomorrow.

The last thing I want to do is hinder them getting any views but his home tutor will certainly have something to say as she's baring the brunt of certsin situations

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sweetteamum · 17/12/2014 13:38

Well as this draws closer I'm getting more worried. In the itinerary she's sent for me, it says "mum will come to collect you at......" So how do I say I'll be staying while this is done. I'm not very assertive.

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Ineedmorepatience · 17/12/2014 13:45

Just say it, take a deep breath and say "I am staying", once you have done it once it gets easier

Good luck

sweetteamum · 18/12/2014 09:38

I'm practising

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sweetteamum · 18/12/2014 09:39

Plus, it's in my house too.

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streakybacon · 18/12/2014 10:32

Good luck!

zzzzz · 18/12/2014 11:08

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

zzzzz · 18/12/2014 11:09

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

sweetteamum · 18/12/2014 16:46

I don't think he'll give a very good insight to what he wants anyway tbh. I realise they need to do it but how can they get a genuine view when they send a stranger to take views. This is when DS is more likely to confirm and say what they want to hear.

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zzzzz · 18/12/2014 16:54

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

sweetteamum · 18/12/2014 19:40

Me neither.

It's because he's not coped in mainstream with full time ta and has been out of school. We're asking for specialist but it will have to be independent. As maintained can't meet his needs.

Anyone would think we love having two children with additional needs in specialist schools.

It's well known that DS does not like to be different to others and wants to be in mainstream. I believe they're going to use that to their advantage.

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zzzzz · 18/12/2014 19:49

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

sweetteamum · 18/12/2014 21:06

That's what I have every intention of telling them tbh.

They wouldn't expect me to let him choose all the big decisions in life. So why will they go off just his word for this.

Tbh I don't see how they can suggest anything other than what we're asking for. As he's already tried. And failed

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MostHighlyFlavouredLady · 18/12/2014 23:14

Just take his views yourself and submit them telling them the job is done. His views are HIS and not for fighting over.

In the document say that he is quite clear he on,y want to talk to you about them and that too is HIS view (if it is of course).

sweetteamum · 19/12/2014 09:47

He's not very open to talking. I'm the only one he talks to when he's sad etc but I have no idea on what to ask him.

Any ideas on what I can ask are greatly appreciated.

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MostHighlyFlavouredLady · 19/12/2014 16:50

He doesn't have to talk. He can draw, or stamp a smiley face or sad face next to questions, or rate out of 10 a few of your suggestions starting with non-education things to get a baseline and him to practise.

You could sort words or ideas into three boxes. Good, rubbish and don't care then take a picture and submit that.

MostHighlyFlavouredLady · 19/12/2014 16:53

Questions like 'what was the best thing about school?' and answers like 'gave no answer' are okay, as is 'what do you like best to learn at home?' Followed by 'this is stupid' is also okay.

sweetteamum · 20/12/2014 11:19

Thanks MHFL, that's helpful and gives me some ideas. Really appreciate it.

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