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how can i stop this behaviour

(14 Posts)
frankiebuns Sat 29-Nov-14 05:22:06

My ds 4 has asd recently diagnosed and for the past few weeks he has been peeing on the floor by the toilet I started putting newspaper down so it didn't ruin the carpet but he still does it I ask why and all he does is say because and change the subject I've tried bribery telling him mummy is sad which usually works I've got cross told him it's naughty but nothing is getting through help

FridayJones Sat 29-Nov-14 08:32:14

He hasn't been watching bing bunny has he? Cos my dd 4 asd just recently started doing the same thing after she saw an episode where bing "did a pee pee". It was obvious bing caused it cos that's what she said too when she did it and sh had never used those words before.
She seems to have decided it's ok to hang on longer, then get caught short.
I've gone back to toilet training behaviour and watching for signs she needs to go and tell her to go even when she shouts at me that she doesn't need to. I've had to hold her over the toilet against her will on one delightful occasion cos I knew she was bursting to go. It worked, soon as I made her laugh.
3 weeks in, it's getting better again.

DishwasherDogs Sat 29-Nov-14 09:52:26

Ds2 does this when he's under a lot of stress.
I tend to supervise him closely (which is easy in our case as he won't go upstairs alone) and remind him to aim, which usually does the trick.

Other suggestions we were given included a Ping pong ball in the loo to aim at, or a few Cheerios.

PolterGoose Sat 29-Nov-14 10:31:12

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

streakybacon Sat 29-Nov-14 11:22:58

I'm with Polter, even down to the frees-style weeing wink. Asd (and ADHD in ds's case) and weeing don't go well together, especially at 4 years. The attention just isn't there.

I can't remember how I dealt with it (ds now 16) but I think I just supervised and made sure he was pointing in the right direction. He got it eventually, but there were a lot of splashes to clean up in the meantime. It would definitely lighten your load to have something other than carpet around the toilet.

2boysnamedR Sat 29-Nov-14 19:32:47

My son had episodes of "I went in the bathroom" and that was good enough. As in I'm in the right room and it's the loo so that's good enough for me.

He's still a nightmare, I think I need to go back to full supervision when we go off track. Just need to be mentally prepaired to re visit potty training again.

Deffinatly get rid of the carpet. I sometimes ask my ds to mop up as I also think it helps him to focus that he missed the loo, he needs to be more careful. But my ds is 7. Maybe giving him some kitchen roll to put over it would work? ( that's what I do, ds just spreads it more ;0/ )

Babieseverywhere Sun 30-Nov-14 08:41:28

Our bathroom stinks. We have vinyl which I beach daily around the toilet and good air freshener.

DS won't go on his own but is also scared of the toilet, even with company.

So he stands too far away. Doesn't hold his penis, so no direction control and sometimes turns away before he has finished.

I was thinking of getting a tacky carpet toilet mat thingy x they could be thrown into the washing machine daily.

2boysnamedR Sun 30-Nov-14 17:04:51

My ds can't leave anyone's side. He poops with the door open. Downstairs loo opens in front of the dining table.... Ds also likes to place loo roll over the seat before he sits down, clogging the loo - ironically it's him who peed all over the loo in the first place. Sigh

blanklook Sun 30-Nov-14 17:07:26

Apologies for a dim question, it's outside my Mum experience, but I've seen poor aim by boys and men with the resultant mess as a subject discussed on other boards and a lot of women just imposed a sit down to pee at home rule.
Is that not workable?

amistillsexy Sun 30-Nov-14 17:18:34

First of all, as other PP have said, go back to toilet training behaviour- watch him like a hawk, take him to the toilet regularly (every hour at least), and stay with him whilst he is there.
I would also ban 'standing up' wees until he's a bit older. Concentrate on rewarding him for getting wee into the toilet from sitting (you might have to remind him to poke his willy down though!), before letting him do it standing up.
State clearly what you want from him, each time you take him, so that it becomes like a mantra that he will remember when you're not there, so you say 'It's time for the toilet, DS. Go to the bathroom. Pull down your trousers. Pull down your pants. Sit on the seat. Poke willy down. Do a wee. Stand up. Pull up pants. Pull up trousers. Turn on tap. Wet hands. Squirt a bit of soap. Rub hands. Rinse under the tap. Dry on a towel.' Very simple sentences, using the same sentence structure for each one will support him to remember.
Remember to be calm and consistent throughout- bribery, getting cross or sad, and telling him off will only shift the problem and confuse matters.
Use lots and lots of praise when he gets it right. Ensure that anyone else who looks after him is using the same methodology to avoid confusion.
I hope this helps.

PolterGoose Sun 30-Nov-14 17:31:31

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

amberlight Sun 30-Nov-14 18:13:50

Suspect some lads become nervous of the intense noise from weeing in the loo. Generalising - carpet is much quieter to wee on. Difficult to explain how loud weeing into a loo sounds to many of us on the autism spectrum, especially in bathrooms/loos with tiled or shiny walls, where the sound bounces off the walls in a really deafening way. May be worth teaching a child to aim at a very quiet part of the loo basin - the back wall perhaps. Drawing a target on there can help.
Also think about all the other sensory hazards in there. Is there strong smelling disinfectants or bleaches? What about air fresheners? Hand soaps? Use low odour ones if possible.
What about the taps? They can feel intensely painful to the touch if they are freezing cold metal.
What about the loo handle? Same principle if it's cold metal.
What about the door handle? Same again.
What about the hand towel? Is it a very soft material?
Taking away even some of the sensory hazards can make the rest of it much easier. Worth a try.

2boysnamedR Sun 30-Nov-14 23:31:05

Thanks amber, never thought about any of that. Everything is a minefield!

frankiebuns Mon 01-Dec-14 07:45:23

Thank you everyone my ds is a very private lad I can't go anywhere within 6ft of him doing a wee but on the odd occasion he will let me stand in the doorway op I think it might be Bing bunny as he loves that programme and might try the ping pong ball trick

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