My dd is not in school yet so we are running a full home programme for now. But I'm slightly struggling with going out and being back in time for making lunch before the next tutor comes in for her session.
I didn't return to work after maternity leave with dd to help tutor (and navigate the system) for ds. We remortgaged and eventually sold our house, though tbh this was to fund our defence against continuous LA attacks more than anything. Our programme was rock bottom. A consultant when we had saved up enough to get one in, around every 8-10 weeks for £300 each time, and between 6 and 10 hours a week of a talented tutor with an MSc in ABA depending on our finances at that time. our programme stopped and started with me acting as the bridge in between.
DD just joined in with the programme or imitated. If it involved playdough for example, dd would sit at the table with her own stock.
I'm not saying it is easy. I suspect I have forgotten much of the difficulties too. I had some fab resources such as a hugely supportive partner who applied for extra leave at times plus some lovely helpful friends who accepted ds.
Now that I HE I find a slow cooker invaluable. I add things when I can, so start with meat usually around 11/12, add an onion at first break, add veg later whenever I get a moment. I do double quantities, serve one and freeze the other.
I do remember those years feeling frazzled, especially when I fell pregnant and had constant nausea but I learned that you just find a way through. One day/week at a time.
It was the only way for us, but of course it's different for everyone. It makes financial sense for us (I can get more work done as DH does everything else), and also DH's career was such that he would have been out of the country for months at a time if he had carried on, which just would not work with the need for someone to be available for DS.
There is no doubt that it has been worth it, and still would be if the price were twice a high in terms of our life changes. DS cannot talk but to have him type hello Mummy on his device as I come through the door is worth all of it. But yes, being frazzled is also a familiar state.
All the money and time is worth seeing them achieve what I once thought impossible, seeing my dd standing in a circle with other children and following a dance routine was just amazing. Pre Aba she would've just walked away.