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What is the future of an asd diagnosed child? I would like to hear positive things.

(19 Posts)
spaghettisue Sun 16-Nov-14 21:40:36

Although very young (13 months), I am beginning to suspect asd in my ds
- no babbling, pointing, waving, shared interests etc
- spends hours opening and closing doors etc
- and plenty more.

I'm not posting to ask if you think my ds might be on the spectrum. But I would like to know, I suppose, that there is light at the end of the tunnel if he does receive one. In other words do kids with asd go on to lead happy lives, do they have good bonds with their parents (that's one of my big fears), what success stories are out there of them becoming teenagers and/or young adults with successful lives/social lives/jobs/relationships etc?

I suppose I am just asking for a bit of reassurance that all will be well for my son should he go on to receive a Dx.

PolterGoose Sun 16-Nov-14 22:20:28

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

coppertop Sun 16-Nov-14 22:42:05

Agree with Polter that every child is different.

Ds1 is 14yrs old and doing well at school. He laughs at the similarities between himself and Sheldon Cooper from The Big Bang Theory. (The scene where Sheldon hugs Penny pretty much sums up ds1 and affection! grin).

He still has very little interest in his classmates (with one or two exceptions) but the flip side to this is that he's not even remotely affected by peer pressure. He thinks humans are illogical creatures.

Ds2 is 11yrs old and also doing well at school. He's more of an angst-ridden arty type who tends to take things to heart. He has several friends but often finds it hard to deal with all the usual disagreements and fallings-out that friendship brings and he needs a great deal of help in coping with that.

I agree that life is certainly never boring!

spaghettisue Sun 16-Nov-14 22:45:55

Thank you Poltergoose and Coppertop for your responses. What about your bonds with your dss? Do you have a good twoway relationship with them?

coppertop Sun 16-Nov-14 23:01:48

Yes, I would say that we have a close bond. The two boys also get on very well with each other, despite being almost complete opposites in many ways.

PolterGoose Mon 17-Nov-14 06:28:45

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

choc0clock Mon 17-Nov-14 07:12:25

Dd is only 6. she has a good bond with us (parents & family) and her sister. she is very affectionate. but she no friends. she also has learning difficulties and a severe speech/language delay. not sure what the future holds but I cannot see her living independently or having a job.

streakybacon Mon 17-Nov-14 07:14:15

It's really hard to say because they are so different, and the autism presents differently, and they're all living with different families under different circumstances. The amount of input each child will get will vary enormously - good schools and bad, same with teachers and therapists. It really isn't possible to compare.

But if it's reassurance you're after, perhaps I can offer some. My son has just turned 16 and we opted to home educate six years ago when school support was inadequate. He is doing very well indeed, has passed several IGCSEs and has another two coming up next summer, then it looks likely he'll enter mainstream sixth form college. He does work experience and volunteers, has friends, is independent in many way and is happy. He has prospects and should manage ok as an adult.

But he still has deficits that no amount of support can fix. He is woefully disorganised (he has dual dx of ADHD) and wastes hours each day. He struggles with some social interaction but is improving - it's a very 'spiky profile', and there are things you'd assume he can do because he can do harder stuff but the basics are still too much for him (eg, he has A* in English but still has a hard time sending a text to a friend).

But I will stress, that is MY ds and not your son, and nobody can tell you how life will turn out for him. He might blossom and flourish way beyond what mine has achieved, or he may struggle even more. All you can do is your best for him and give him all the guidance and support you can, both from yourself and from community resources. In your position I would certainly go for the assessment and diagnosis because it does open doors rather than close them. It can be useful in getting support that's not available to undiagnosed children, and you don't have to disclose it if it it's not relevant.

Try not to worry. You'll find your path, as we all do. MNSN is definitely the place to be for support and advice.

streakybacon Mon 17-Nov-14 07:16:14

Forgot to say ... Yes, we have a lovely relationship, a really close bond and ds knows he can trust me to help with anything. We've had teenage blips but overall we do like each other and enjoy each other's company.

Frusso Mon 17-Nov-14 07:23:46

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TheFirstOfHerName Mon 17-Nov-14 07:35:09

DS2 is 12.
He is loving and affectionate.
He is doing well at school (on track to get L7s by the end of Y9 and L8 in Maths).
He has a couple of friends and belongs to two youth groups.
He enjoys school and is willing to try new experiences.
For him, the right secondary setting was what made the difference.

TheFirstOfHerName Mon 17-Nov-14 07:39:50

Things he is currently working on:
Handwriting (getting it legible)
Coping with change
Interpretation (English lit, RS etc)
Consistency with personal hygiene
Learning when to stop talking

salondon Mon 17-Nov-14 09:44:49

Mine is 5, severely delayed and non verbal

She has definitely improved loads since she was your child's age, however, I would say most of it is due to therapy. If you are worried, please start looking into intervention now. OT, ABA, diet(every child is different in this regard), fish oil... I think everything helps.

Also keeping a diary helps.

We have a lovely relationship with our daughter. She is as autistic as they come. Low-functioning and all... BUT, we know she knows us. We have learnt to read her eyes and body language. A lot of the 'love' is on her terms. Simply because she doesn't think like us(or so we think). She hugs us, loves our touch and smiles back.

Someone said to me - Dont look too far into the future. I try and remember that a lot. Only when I think I am slacking, I remind myself of the consequences of not doing her therapy properly.

This is a very difficult time. When you are doubting it. However, in my experience, if you think its ASD, then work on it. If its not, no harm will be done

streakybacon Mon 17-Nov-14 10:24:21

I'd like to add, don't take everything the professionals tell you as gospel, especially in terms of what they claim your child won't be able to do. They're not always the experts they think they are and are often wrong. There are many tales of children not expected to achieve x, y or z yet they go on to do just that - be prepared to be surprised, and try everything to see if you can encourage progress.

reader108 Mon 17-Nov-14 10:30:33

Hard work ,but lovely with it. We have a very good relationship Senco said the other day his favourite things as told to her are his sisters 3d ds, and his Mum. Great priorities love him!
He's 8 now but I remember a prayer when he was 6 in his RE book 'thank you God for fishfingers and my Mum!'

frizzcat Mon 17-Nov-14 11:06:42

Ds is 10yrs, he's doing well at school, expected 4b in literacy and level 5 for maths in year 6 (he's Yr5)

He had a severe speech delay of more than two years, but now he's about a year behind, so the gap is closing. He struggles socially, but he doesn't see it as struggling he's happy dipping in and out. The friends he has made are also happy to dip in and out with him. They also go to him for certain subject matters, Minecraft etc. Often when he's had a stint of socialising he needs time to recharge his batteries as it takes a lot of his energy.

He is very close to dd(nt) who is 3yrs and she is the one who he will actively seek and initiate conversations with. Dd is very talkative and is quite bright so with ds speech delay it means the gap isn't huge, but she doesn't advance beyond him.

I am starting to talk to him about Autism and discussing what that entails for him. Very short talks, very matter of fact I want him to understand it, but know that's its just a part of him not the whole of him.

As it stands I think he could live an independent live, but I think the real telling point is secondary school, if I can get that right hopefully he'll fly. smile

We have a good close relationship, he is particularly close to my mil, they are very similar, as she also finds social interaction exhausting and likes specific plans.

zzzzz Mon 17-Nov-14 11:14:42

No professional has the slightest clue about ds. So if ds is typical of children with autism then I would say smile and nod but use your own eyes.

He loves me. I love him. He is demonstrative and vocal about his love and our relationship is at least as strong as it is with my nt children. In some ways we are closer because ds needs so much hell with communication and to keep him safe. Autism has NOTHING to do with your ability to love and be loved.

spaghettisue Mon 17-Nov-14 11:21:50

Thank you all for taking the time to reply. I much appreciate it. It is heartwarming to hear of good relationships. We have an appointment coming up because of the lack of babbling. Fear of the unknown, in my mind creates worst case scenarios - I'm scared of having a child who doesn't have a relationship with me, so your responses were very reassuring.

frizzcat Mon 17-Nov-14 12:33:24

Oh forgot, something that I find really positive about my ds autism, is that his minimalist approach to socialising means that he has and hopefully will continue to have little interest in social media.
It's reassuring as he is vulnerable and it's harder to manage the entire Internetsmile

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