Ever feel like running away?

[2boysnamedR]

I asked dh how he fees about our boys. Big mistake. He said he wakes up everyday hoping its a nightmare - but it isn't and life is really s£&it

I wasnt expecting that from him.

I would so love to go completely mad right now. Throw all my washing on the lawn and burn it. Tell the school to do one, draw out all the money we have a get a one way ticket to Canada. Let the kids run feral in the street.

I think it would family a while to realise I had gone.

Compiling with society rules isn't working anyway.

Only thing that stops me is knowing my kids only have and dh. Can't wait for my tribunal to be over.

Never realised it would be this hard. I can't even read the lea report without a red mist descending.

[fairgame]

Yep i've felt like that too. Would love to just pack a suitcase and do one. My life is a complete mess because of DS's disability. I don't blame DS btw, it's not his fault and i love him to bit but life is crap. My career is gone, my relationship is gone, all the plans i made have gone. I'm trying to keep optimistic and hope that i can get everything back on track once DS gets older but maybe i'm deluded.

[reader108]

Some days are better than others. Today was a crap one it started with 'why can't it be Saturday and Sunday everyday' and went rapidly down hill from there!

Some days there just isn't enough 'superglue' to hold it all together!!!

[DishwasherDogs]

Yes I have weeks days like this.
Last night I would have happily walked out and not come back, but then dd(12) took hand of the situation and sat down with ds and chatted quietly with him until he calmed down.
Dh and I remind ourselves that he's not doing it on purpose, and he must feel awful in himself if he's having to behave so extremely.

How long do you have until the tribunal is over?

[ouryve]

I reached a point a few years ago when I had a big, sobbing, meltdown in the middle of the livingroom floor. It put DH on the defensive, which didn't really make me feel any better. If I'm flapping, he'll insist there's no point in getting worried about things because it doesn't help, then he has regular flaps over just about anything and takes everyone down with him. I find that need for me to be the calm one pretty exhausting. One of the things that got me down was the state of the house and I've put a lot of work into physically making it a nicer place to be, over the past few years, as that's something I can take control over and I put a lot of work into ensuring that tempers don't get to the point where windows and doors are smashed and furniture doesn't get thrown about and shit doesn't get ground into carpets.

It's flaming exhausting, sometimes.

[OneInEight]

Definitely and especially at the stage you are at of fighting for support at school for your boys. It is totally exhausting.

[2boysnamedR]

My house is a tip. I almost want it to be. It matches the state of my mind.

Tribunal is beginning of dec.

Keep telling myself we can start to live again. Feel so bad for my eldest boy. He's growing up in all this mess ( mental mess and the house)

[Moralityissue]

God yes. Started a thread about it yesterday in fact.

No advice but your not alone - this journey is not one I would have picked