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School Senco will never believe, will she ?

(69 Posts)
Babieseverywhere Thu 25-Sep-14 14:20:32

We are slowly moving forward.

Senco has finally moved forward with the July 2014 promise to call in the Ed Psych once I applied for statutory assessment over the summer, bothered the headmaster and the Ed Psych department directly

Got an email asking me to come to school to sign new CAF this morning, no idea when last one was closed sad

Had to sign this new CAF form, that stated several times that the school had no issues and it was me that was struggling sad Breaks my heart but anything to get Ed Psych in to help DS, so I signed the document, lies and all.

I left a message that some things were missing off the form and Senco rang to confirm details.

I explained that she had only got Comm Paed and Ed Psych on the form and not the other people.

Me : DS also sees SALT.
Her : Oh give me the details.

Me : DS also awaiting social skills classes.
Her : Did you refer him to them.
Me : No, SALT did
Her : But why
Me : Because of his social communication difficulties
Her : oh

Me : DS is also awaiting OT
Her : Oh, did you refer to them.
Me : No, Comm Paed did
Her : But why bearing mind I lied and told Comm Paed everything was fine at school
Me : Because of his sensory issues including licking himself (Salt) AND hypersensitive hearing (consultant audiologist) AND minor and gross motor skills issues (Comm paed)
Her : oh.
Her : ok, I will update this form.

Sigh, Off to check paperwork gets to Ed Psych team, I don't want it to fail to get there for any reason.

She sounded confused as to why the child, she sees no difficulties in, has so much input from other agencies who do see things.

She is so sure that all DS issues which don't really exist are down to me.

It must be so nice to be so confident in knowing everything about a child you glance at a few hours a week, whereas I who love and live with DS 24/7, am not sure what is at the root of his anxieties.

That is why I am going though this awful process it is not for giggles, as it is far from fun !

starfishmummy Thu 25-Sep-14 14:24:32

She sounds useless.
Have you asked her why she is refusing to believe what the other professionals are saying?

Babieseverywhere Thu 25-Sep-14 14:32:20

Because if they SEE the issues, she would have to admit she was wrong and she nearly pushed me over the edge to a nervous breakdown recently, due to her critism of my parenting not just to me but to the Comm Paed and one other person, who emails I accidentally read.

Plus he internalised stress. Masks at school. Melts down when he is safe with me.

But I have decided for my sanity to push past her and concentrate on those who can help.

Gingeete Thu 25-Sep-14 14:32:48

I think SENCOS and teachers go on special training to block out the things other professionals see and can put it all down to the mother! .i find it all really intimidating and exhausting. Good luck.

PolterGoose Thu 25-Sep-14 14:50:25

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

mummytime Thu 25-Sep-14 15:10:28

Oh I've had it where school see something wrong - but obviously it is a nasty, badly behaved, manipulative child. We see an Ed Psych at Camhs, within 1/2 hour he is suggesting an ASD assessment. School are "shocked" and never really take on board the fact that child by definition doesn't have to social ability to be "manipulative".

Fortunately senior school is so much better.

mummytime Thu 25-Sep-14 15:11:02

Oh I forgot flowers

Ineedmorepatience Thu 25-Sep-14 15:28:04

Its astonishing how brilliant some sencos are at knowing fuck all!!!

Sorry for the swear but its been one of those weeks!!

Good luck babies flowers brew

Babieseverywhere Thu 25-Sep-14 16:00:14

Just picked up my 'fine' child from school. I can tell from ten yards that he is frozen with stress lining up with teacher. I sad hug and mumbles about PE (which he hates) tops and cost and bag and he sighs sadly.

Why do they never call my name in 'I look though the window', DS asks me.

I say I bet they do...I countered.

No, I have to go with whoever is last. C who says I am a baby and H who hits me sometimes (H has SN and should be watched more closely)

It is alright, I told him. I will have a chat with your teacher. I am sure it will be your turn to 'look through the window' and you can choose. Who would you like to choose ?

Noone wants to be with me. (Big sigh looking at the floor ) DS said.

I would always choose you, you are awesome, never forget that... (with a hug) I answered

Cry me a river......sad

Babieseverywhere Thu 25-Sep-14 16:02:37

Look though the window us a way of partnering up in the classroom.

Sigh, I am going to have to chat to his teacher aren't I ?

PolterGoose Thu 25-Sep-14 16:07:50

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Kleinzeit Thu 25-Sep-14 16:33:22


But there is still a ray of hope in your earlier message... all those other professionals who have observed the issues that your DS has. It's not just you any more. The SALT has observed his social communication issues; the community paediatritian has observed his sensory issues and motor skills problems; the audiologist has observed his auditory hyerpsensitivity. So you really are further along towards getting your DS the support he needs. However unobservant the SENCO may be.

GoblinLittleOwl Thu 25-Sep-14 17:24:59

I think SENCOS and teachers go on special training to block out the things other professionals see and can put it all down to the mother!
Its astonishing how brilliant some sencos are at knowing fuck all!!!

Sencos see your child in context with many other children, in an environment where people are used to dealing with difficult children and know how to handle them; they are trained and experienced and no Senco will deny there is a problem if one really exists. They do not see the child in the home environment, where different behaviours are acceptable.

The above attitudes do not help anyone.

Babieseverywhere Thu 25-Sep-14 17:30:02

Goblin This is a thread for support for parents of struggling children, not a place to say how great Sencos are. !

PolterGoose Thu 25-Sep-14 17:37:48

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Babieseverywhere Thu 25-Sep-14 18:10:25


With comments like...
"They do not see the child in the home environment, where different behaviours are acceptable."

Goblin must be a Senco herself...familiar combination of wrong assumptions married with critism of poor parenting, lol grin

Kleinzeit Thu 25-Sep-14 18:11:48

I don’t know about all SENCOs but surely the one at babies’ school has been more obstructive than helpful. And SENCOS don't get in-depth training about every possible disability they might meet, and experience can be pretty hit-and-miss. It doesn’t sounds as if this one has any experience of a child like babies’ DS. She does have experience of other children with ASCs but I suppose they must all have presented very differently from him. So it’s smart of babies to emphasise that the real specialists do see his issues. Maybe the SENCO will learn something!

A friend posted this on my Facebook feed- thought you might appreciate it babies (though my DS was the opposite – let rip at school and then came home as if butter wouldn’t melt!)

PolterGoose Thu 25-Sep-14 18:15:35

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

agiantwoman Thu 25-Sep-14 18:23:05

SENCOs might be 'experienced' but they are certainly not trained or qualified to dx SEN.

hazeyjane Thu 25-Sep-14 18:27:00

'No senco will deny there is a problem if one really exists'


mummytime Thu 25-Sep-14 18:31:22

The SENCO at my DCs primary school has two great points:
a) she admits she is not an expert!
b) she is very good at form filling
Unfortunately as she wasn't an expert, and was pressurised by the head, I think some of their spending decisions were wrong, and the Head was a bit of a "God like figure", so his opinion tended to over-ride. Nice guy, just didn't like my DD which over shadowed her last years at his school.

The SENCO at senior school is amazing, but she has really earned her place. She has taught for years, including at PRUs, and she really cares for the kids. She gets it, and treats every student as an individual.
I have known a lot of good SENCOs - but most of the good ones are overwhelmed by lack of training (for them and their staff) and struggle with workloads.
To be amazing it has to be a vocation.

Oh and the amazing one always listens to parents and students. They don't say "there is not a problem".

uggerthebugger Thu 25-Sep-14 19:17:32

Hi babies thanks this sounds tough - don't worry too much about the CAF form, you'll have another chance to get your views across once the SA process gets going.

Do you have any idea what DS's class teacher and head teacher think about his needs? Sometimes when a SENCO is being obtuse, it's because he / she is under extreme pressure by her management, particularly if money is tight at the school.

Have you had much contact with the SEN team at the local authority yet? Sometimes in these cases they can be good at putting pressure on schools, if only for their own self-interested reasons.

Whilst we're on the topic of "trained and experienced" professionals... this link from Special Needs Jungle is painful and funny to read at the same time..... smile

Babieseverywhere Thu 25-Sep-14 20:48:43

I have not spoke to SEN team, nor new class teacher.

I did make an appointment with class teacher but headmaster cancel teacher and met with me instead. Headmaster told me I HAD to have a home visit with behaviourist and that will sort everything out !

I will see what he says after behaviourist visits and fails to help.

I will make an appointment to see his class teacher.

I will Google Local SEN team.

agiantwoman Thu 25-Sep-14 20:59:55

No you most certainly do not have to have a home visit with behaviourist! How dare he/she!

Babieseverywhere Thu 25-Sep-14 21:38:27

When I orginally said no to home visit, as behaviourist has been clear she couldn't help. Headmaster found me in cloakroom trying to settle my upset 4 year old in reception to tell me I had to have the visit, so I wasn't being obstructive angry

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