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2 and a half year old will not use cutlery or eat finger foods.

(9 Posts)
amy90 Fri 04-Apr-14 21:14:15

Wasn't sure where to put this, so I've decided to post it to a few and see what happens.

My son is 2 and a half with suspected autism. (I'm currently trying to have him screened, but nobody seems to be listening to my concerns.)

I've tried sitting and eating with him, I've guided his hands, I've tried putting things in his hands, I've tried cutting stuff up, not cutting stuff up, putting tiny bits in his mouth, singing, dancing, ignoring him and eat mine to see if he copies, leaving him on his own for half an hour to see if he does anything, tv on, tv off, I don't know what else to do. The only finger foods he will eat are: toast, apple cut into very specific shapes, and malted milk biscuits. He won't touch anything else. He won't even pick up any of the cutlery. I've also tried just putting food infront of him with no cutlery to see if he will eventually have a go with his hands, still nothing.

I know it sounds pathetic, but this is really starting to upset me now. I've tried everything. I feel bad for taking his dinner away because I know he's hungry, but I really don't want to spoon feed him anymore when I know that he is MORE than capable of feeding himself. & if I cave in and spoon feed him, I feel like he'll never learn to do it himself.
I don't know what to do.

PolterGoose Fri 04-Apr-14 21:19:43

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

PolterGoose Fri 04-Apr-14 21:22:12

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ConstantCraving Fri 04-Apr-14 21:41:13

Hi - my DD is 4 and can't use cutlery other than a spoon, and that with difficulty. She also has a very limited diet and I think that's due to a combination of fear of anything new / different and sensory issues as Polter says. I used to spoonfeed her but she won't let me now. We give her 'Wellkid' vitamins and I am much less worried about it than I used to.
Good luck with the screening.

tacal Fri 04-Apr-14 22:52:41

Hi, my ds has autism and his fine motor skills are immature. He is 5 and uses caring cutlery but he still prefers to use his hands rather than cutlery.

At age 2 he would have been spoon fed and probably at age 3 and 4 there would have been times when I spoon fed him. Sometimes he even insisted on sitting on my knee and being spoon fed.

Food is a massive issue for my ds. It has caused so many worries and problems. I tend to do whatever it takes to get him eating and make him feel safe and comfortable around food. He is at school now and getting on ok with his usual foods that he is happy to eat. He can use a spoon and a fork but is a little bit messy, and very messy if it is soup!

Ineedmorepatience Sat 05-Apr-14 08:00:09

Hi Amy, if he does have autism then his development will be delayed, that doesnt mean he will never learn to self feed just that he is not ready yet.

I would go back to spoon feeding him and just put a few bits of finger food on his tray/table.

Please dont feel under pressure to move him on developmentally if he isnt ready you will both be miserable.

Try to celebrate his achievements and build gradually on new skills.

Well done for finding this board, it is the most supportive place in the world and everyone on here will help you.

Good luck, be kind to yourself and eat cake smile

mrsbaffled Sat 05-Apr-14 08:02:36

I would spoon feed him for a bit longer if that is the only way to get food into him. My DS is nearly 10 and he still forgets to use cutlery most of the time. He only really mastered knife and fork 2-3 years ago. He has fine motor problems and hyper mobile elbows as well as autistic traits ( not full ASD). I spoon fed him til about 4, but he did get there eventually x

amy90 Sat 05-Apr-14 10:09:36

Thanks guys, you've all made me feel a ton better about the whole thing. It just upsets me when I see other kids younger than my own using cutlery/talking etc. and I know it shouldn't because I know he is different, but I can't help it.
My son still doesn't say any words at all so it's really hard to communicate what he does and doesn't want a lot of the time.
I gave in yesterday and spoon fed him a fish pie. He ate it all. He will eat ANYTHING I spoon feed him (so long as it's not dry to the touch), so I'm thinking it's mainly a textural fear thing.

This morning I sliced up some apple and put it on his plate. I stuck his fork in one of the pieces and to my amazement he actually picked it up and ate it! He was scared of the fork touching his tongue though, so I had to encourage him to pull off the middle part that was actually on the prongs of the fork, but he did it and I praised him loads smile

Ineedmorepatience Sat 05-Apr-14 21:58:28

YAY!! grin

Well done Amy and miniAmy grin

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