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what a night

(12 Posts)
thriftychic Mon 31-Mar-14 23:02:15

ds2, tonight has thrown ten tons of allsorts down the stairs , trashed the mothers day flowers he gave me yesterday saying he never wanted me to have them anyway as he hates me and i am the crappest mum ever .

hes flicked me in the face , refused to go to bed saying ' make me ' etc and threatened to kill himself , saying it will then be my fault that i have a dead son .
hes 15 , everyone else sees an angel . hes finally gone to bed and i think, to sleep but i cant open the door as hes pushed the bed against it .
the place is a tip and i feel really sad tonight .

no need to reply just wanted to write it .

raffle Mon 31-Mar-14 23:51:31

Every need to reply, if only to give ((hugs))
Sounds awful OP, really hope he is asleep and you get a good night. Wake up refreshed...tomorrow is a new day. I'm hoping you have support with this?

colditz Mon 31-Mar-14 23:52:58

Hormones .. He does love you, just can't show it very well and was enraged tonight.

He will probably be back to normal in the morning


thriftychic Tue 01-Apr-14 00:10:52

thanks , i think my hormones arent very balanced tonight either ! i sat and cried , dh offered no comfort hmm put his headphones on ! i know he was upset and tired aswell after starting work at 4am this morning but sometimes i think he also has asd confused

colditz Tue 01-Apr-14 00:42:39

Thrifty, that is so likely it's not even funny x

Get support in rl. Get together with friends. It is very very hard being the only nt person in the house.

Ineedmorepatience Tue 01-Apr-14 08:17:05

I am honking and flapping for you thrifty , hope he wakes up calmer.

Be kind to yourself flowers

thriftychic Tue 01-Apr-14 10:48:38

thankyou everyone , he has got up calmer this morning , just very sullen . at least he has gone in to school .
i have spoken to a friend this morning ( only have one or two these days ) as i live with two teenagers and dh and i find it difficult being the only female and probably the only nt one . Although after 20 years of craziness it could be me that is not the norm also . i cant tell anymore !
I am constantly on edge trying to intercept dh saying the wrong thing to ds2 and ds1 and ds2 cant be left alone as all hell breaks loose between them .
i am a bit sad that we can very rarely manage a day out without huge falling out . I know there is far worse to worry about but mothers day was a disaster as usual and ive got pmt .

right , will stop being negative now and do something useful!

Ilisten2thesoundofdrums Tue 01-Apr-14 11:04:46

Poor Thriftychic. I feel for you.

I wonder if there was something in the air yesterday?

DS and I had a big row last night over nothing - about him putting all the loose worksheets into the relevant school books instead of leaving them all in heaps all over the house - so he put them all in the bin, I removed them from the bin - cue explosion. I threatened to remove his computer cables which is the only think that gets a reaction so he did what he was asked , then smashed a bag of spaghetti against the wall in the hallway until it broke open and ended up all over the floor, he then broke it into pieces. By this time DH was home and told him to pick it all up and DS stormed out of the house. I thought he was in the front garden and left him to cool down, but when I looked he was nowhere in sight. He'd stormed off, and when he came back he said he got half way around the block before realising he hadn't got anything he needed (like shoes!) so it was pointless and walked home, by which time he had calmed down and he cleared up his mess.

thriftychic Tue 01-Apr-14 11:16:38

sounds very stressful ilisten . how old is your ds ? think we need cake and brew

ds2 frequently rips up schoolwork and puts it in the bin . He once put the entire contents of his bedroom drawers / cupboards in the wheelie bins outside , there was one jumper left hanging in the wardrobe shock
He hasnt had such an outburst for ages , such a shame my lovely mothers day flowers are now in the bin , they were beautiful !

thriftychic Tue 01-Apr-14 11:17:28

hope things stay calm today for you too smile

Ilisten2thesoundofdrums Tue 01-Apr-14 12:35:16

thrifty I hope you have a nice calm day today too cake and brew gratefully received and passed round!
DS is 13 so I'm never sure if its normal teenage hormones or if its eggagerated by the AS.
I can cope with the strop as I know that he hates being organised but I've never had him storm out like that before.
He actually was very sensible and calm when he came back and we had a discussion about how breaking things and making a mess wasn't really worth it as you still have to clear it up later, and he recognised that the walk really helped - which is a breakthrough - maybe next time I can send him to walk around the block - just as long as he takes a phone and wears his shoes!!!
He did make me laugh though as I asked didn't anyone stop him to ask if he was OK since he wasn't wearing shoes and he said no, but last week when he went into town with friends he had seen several people shoeless and was wondering if it was some religious thing?

Penneyanne Wed 02-Apr-14 01:18:44

thrifty I too live in a home with two teens with As/Asd and a husband who is almost certainly on the spectrum too.Your dh putting on headphones in response to your upset sounds eerily familiarconfused.Tis hard and lonely and horrible sad.

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