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Difficulties with choice.

(11 Posts)
Holycowiloveyoureyes Fri 28-Mar-14 13:03:49

DS is always horrendously behaved on as weekend. We like to have a lazy morning, getting dressed just before lunch if we're not going out.
He always meltsdown over getting dressed and that sets the mood for the entire day, not much fun.

Anyway, he's been really calm all week, the lovely, sweet boy we know he really is, so last night we had a chat about weekends.

He said he gets confused when he doesn't know what's happening, so we agreed I'd make a structured timetable for him. He also said he hates going up to get dressed because he doesn't know what to wear, it makes his tummy "feel like there's slugs in it" and makes him scared and angry.

So we've decided I'll lay his clothes out the night before for him.

I can' t believe we didn't realise this, thinking about it he can t cope when he has money to spend in a shop, he almost panics at all the choices and inevitably meltsdown.

Is this usual of ASD? I feel we're bumbling along and getting it wrong a lot of the time.

blueeyedmonster Fri 28-Mar-14 13:16:59

Its exactly how DS is apart from the slugs in his tummy! He will stay in his onesie all weekend if he can. He has a timetable and we have to stick to it rigidly if are want him dressed.
His clothes are set out for him. It makes it easier. Doesn't stop the problem ally he time but it's a lot better.

blueeyedmonster Fri 28-Mar-14 13:17:19

All the. Blasted auto correct.

Jacksterbear Fri 28-Mar-14 13:23:49

Yes, my DS often struggles when asked to make a decision - seems to feel under a huge amount of pressure and can't cope. His dx is ASD with a PDA profile, so I think it's all tied up with his fear of demands and feeling out of control. It's a tricky one because sometimes giving choices is advised as a way of helping a child feel in control, but actually sometimes it has precisely the opposite effect.

Sometimes, just including a small element of choice, eg I've laid out your outfit but you can choose the grey trousers or the blue, can help, ie less overwhelming than a totally free choice.

Jacksterbear Fri 28-Mar-14 13:26:14

(Oh and ps does your ds also have sensory issues? Mine has SPD so getting dressed is naturally stressful in any event before you factor in the choice/demand problem.)

Holycowiloveyoureyes Fri 28-Mar-14 13:30:39

He has to wear his socks inside out, doesn't like the feel of the seams.
If we go out somewhere he generally has to have his hood up.

Looking back on photos of him over the years, when we just thought he was "quirky" he's always got his hood up and is usually holding a soft toy.

Jacksterbear Fri 28-Mar-14 13:36:29

Sounds familiar smile

Holycowiloveyoureyes Fri 28-Mar-14 13:38:17


Yep, the usual look.

Bless em.

PolterGoose Fri 28-Mar-14 13:39:50

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Holycowiloveyoureyes Fri 28-Mar-14 13:52:47

I'll make sure to mention it at our assessment then :-)

Ineedmorepatience Fri 28-Mar-14 14:50:30

Dd3 has solved the problem over clothing choices, she has 4 pairs of joggers and 6 hoodies of which about 3 get worn!!

She changes from soft baggy PJ's to joggers and hoodies at the weekend, job done grin

On school days she has soft cotton school trousers and an oversized school sweatshirt grin.

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