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Ok, I'm having my wobble. Dd2 is being assessed tomorrow...

(30 Posts)
AlarmOnSnooze Wed 12-Mar-14 17:27:03

Title says it all.

MS is going in to school tomorrow to see dd2. What if she doesn't see what we see? What if I am totally deluded (as school believe - they are just humouring me)?

Dd2 had a school trip today so has spent the whole day I her sports kit. She has dissolved into tears 3 times already since being home and we've only been back 20 minutes! She hates the routine changes, hates wearing trousers, hates wearing trainers and so on. And has kept it together all day at school (although she did tell me she didn't manage to finish her writing, normally she would).

I am bone tired as was up til 5am finishing off an essay. And after the dc are in bed I need to make my detailed notes so that nothing is missed - I want to make sure I don't forget anything. I am so used to mitigating, what with dd1 as well, that it is no longer clear it how much help I give her as it is all such an established routine, iyswim? Must try to think that through, and make sure I don't miss anything. I have no idea what age-appropriate help would be though <sigh>

It'll be ok, won't it?

Ineedmorepatience Wed 12-Mar-14 18:04:04

Honking for you alarm hope it goes ok smile

MooMummyMoo Wed 12-Mar-14 18:19:28

Honk honk honk (and yes, it will be ok x)

PolterGoose Wed 12-Mar-14 18:26:28

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

AlarmOnSnooze Wed 12-Mar-14 18:38:26

oh for some wine - am still feeding the troublesome not really a baby, so sadly still not on the wine (or, more importantly, the gin!)

thank you everyone, this feels worse than taking dd1 or ds along to their first appts. with them, there is no denying that 'something' is not right. with dd2, given that she is sweetness and light at school, and mostly viewed as a walking, talking porcelain doll - lovely, nice-mannered, polite and helpful etc. and up to now, considered G&T and walking through all the work with (seemingly) little effort.

and so it comes down to a he said/she said situation. because that is not the child we have at home (well, she is still lovely, and occasionally polite and helpful) - here she regularly melts down, cannot cope with the thought of failure, puts so much pressure on herself and if she isn't instantly top of the class stops trying. she has sensory issues coming out of her ears, needs everything explained in triplicate, doesn't 'get' social situations, and needs more careful handling and planning info and schedules etc than dd1...

Handywoman Wed 12-Mar-14 21:47:35

Honking for you. I'm with polter I'm sure this will come good for you. Wishing you a decent nights sleep. Sounds like that's all you need. I'll be interested to see how it goes.


AlarmOnSnooze Wed 12-Mar-14 22:55:35

Thanks, Handywoman. I'll report back once it's all over.

I hate having to do this - give our entire family history (and paint it black) to someone I've never met before.

Mind you - it's the day for meeting people - I'll finally get to meet the Learning support staff at school - apparently they are all lined up ready to talk to MS, which has me confused because, as far as I know, none of them have ever worked with dd2 hmm hmm

ho hum. must get some sleep.

handmedownqueen Wed 12-Mar-14 23:05:12

my son is having ados assessment tomorrow sending a hug

AlarmOnSnooze Wed 12-Mar-14 23:10:12

hope all goes well, handmedownqueen. I think part of what is worrying me is most of this will take lace at dd2's school, during the school day. And I won't be there, so won't know what has gone on, etc. that feels oddd, as have been at all appts for the other 2.

PolterGoose Thu 13-Mar-14 07:12:35

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

AlarmOnSnooze Thu 13-Mar-14 07:37:54

thanks, Polter.

dd2 is weeping silently into her cornflakes at the thought of today being different at school... she doesn't want anythign to be different, doesn;t want to talk to someone new, can't cope with the fact that I don't know what MS plans for the day are and so can't brief her fully enough...


and then she'll swallow ti down and cope. because that's what she does. I just hope she shows enough chinks, and gets stretched enough for the difficulties to show.

PolterGoose Thu 13-Mar-14 07:59:53

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

KeepOnKeepingOn1 Thu 13-Mar-14 08:29:27

Good luck to you both today smile

Margo was the first person ever to recognise behaviour in DS1 because to her its blindingly obvious. He was 11 and had been seen by comm paed, salt, OT, EPs etc. You can trust her. (She is the only SALT that has ever hugged me!)

Handywoman Thu 13-Mar-14 08:41:54

Good luck for both these assessments today. Thinking of you both


AlarmOnSnooze Thu 13-Mar-14 09:16:34

Thanks, KeepOn, that's the kind of thing I need to hear. Dd2 hasn't been seen by anyone, because genray speaking (with enough preparation at home) things go ok and she is able enough to catch up any deficits and cover up etc. but that can't carry on at school (and even if t could, she shouldn't have to).

Wih dd1 and ds, it is much more clear cut that something is going on, due to missed milestones or lack of speech etc. dd2 has always been ahead developmentally, and so the obvious signs aren't there.

AlarmOnSnooze Thu 13-Mar-14 13:03:37

<drums fingers impatiently>

well, she has arrived, ad is at school. coincidentally, ds' report from his initial assessment arrived today too <settles down for indepth read>

it feels odd to not be there - history/parents views will be taken this afternoon. but to be so uninvolved feels weird - I'm not used to this grin

school were polite as I introduced her - no Senco, class teacher not there, TA who was supposed to meet us was 'busy' elsewhere - grerat start! but then they think I am being neurotic and over cautious and only worried because dd2 is no longer top of the class - if only life were that simple!

AlarmOnSnooze Thu 13-Mar-14 13:05:14

mind you, I was surprised that it was all to be handled by the Senco - I've never met her, and to my knowledge she has no involvement with dd2 at all. certainly no extra support sessions. dd2 does know who she is - 'she does playground duty, sometimes, but not very often' and I think she has occasionally covered a class here and there, but not really osmeone who 'knows' dd2 at all.

AlarmOnSnooze Thu 13-Mar-14 17:17:54

....and the verdict is....


consistent with high functioning Aspergers. will wait for the report, and then see about tackling school etc.

she liked the school, though, which is a good thing. they must be seeig a lot more than they let on to lowly parents (hmm why do schols do that?!). I do wish they would share concerns/observations more.

and she did say she thought it a little odd that the boys and girls were so separated (both by own choice eg at plahytime and for sports) but otherwise she thought the school was good.

AlarmOnSnooze Thu 13-Mar-14 17:18:41

oh, and no Senco grin - not a great surprise, nor a huge loss.

PolterGoose Thu 13-Mar-14 17:19:33

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

AlarmOnSnooze Thu 13-Mar-14 17:20:59

spot on, tbh. it's a relief that someoneelse has seen it.

she did say that to the untrained eye, at school dd2 presents as NT. but she got a lot of things right about her, and was very interested in the difference between school/home

PolterGoose Thu 13-Mar-14 17:25:07

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

AlarmOnSnooze Thu 13-Mar-14 17:26:47

that's why I'm waiting for the report grin

was a bit rushed at the end, so will emaiul and talk further. but formal testing was done, so hopefully will count. or will get a top-up form her ifnot - she can dx, after all.

I want the bit of paper to wave at the school, so they take the issues she does have (relatively minor atm) seriously and make reasonable adjustments

lougle Thu 13-Mar-14 17:34:45

I'm late to this and it's all done. Well done - you were right. We knew you were though, didn't we? Why should it take so much to get agreement from those who are meant to know what they're doing?

AlarmOnSnooze Thu 13-Mar-14 17:39:13

thanks, lougle. it is such a relief to have someone who 'gets' it. she queried whether we needed it formalised, but I would rather have it formally dx'd, and then not disclose if not necessary, than have it left as 'Aspie traits' or similar.

interestingly, a lot of the things she said dd2's teacher had said to her were the same, exact things I raised as concerns at our recent meetings hmm hmm. still, at leas they are taking notice a bit more, and to be fair, have been since Christmas when I got a bit stroppy about the ability/performance discrepancies.

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