DS1 is severly autistic and has no speech but his imitation has comeon really well so he will mime words. He's 8 and we have some concerns about his progress and have heard lots of horror stories about puberty. DH and I work full time but we now really want to accelerate the support he gets after school. We have not been fortunate with childcare as he has gotten bigger (he wears age 11/12 clothes). he signs auite abit but m,ainly for objects, he still cant tell whether he's hurt or upstet and the childcare settings are not very good with sign language so he tends to lash out from time to time. he's physically active and tends to run away. following a string failed attempts to find him suitable childcare, he now attends an afterschool club in a lovelymainstream school wher he spends most of his time running around in the field and getting mothered by some year 5 girls. He will outgrow that setting in a year or two.
i earn 3.5 times what dh does and the house is in my name. We had to borrow some money to start our aba programme and fund private therapies and interventions and are still paying back a fair bit. DH will not quit work as he has a lot of debt to pay and he gets apreferetial staff rate for them. If I quit we wouldnt be able to live on his salary as I pay the mortage and most of the bills. At the same time, i/we are desperate that ds1 acquires some speech and communication skills.
We reckon i also need to stay in this job because we will be able to pay for either a part time special needs nanny using salary plus direct payments or getting regular speech therapy if we find the right one. the job has now to include more responsibilities which keeps me on task when I get home and often after the kids are in bed so I have little time to take them places or get involved with any therapies. DS2 is in a private school which he loves and beause of the commute, we both barely get there in time to pick him up from the after school club.
I have just been invited to interview for a job which is 3 days a week and mostly from home which makes me available for therapies but unable to afford them. It will also mean moving ds2 to a maintained school. the job is likely to develop into a full time role in a few years but they assure me that it will remain a home based role. my concern is that if it became a requirement that I work onsite, the commute is even further out and I will be worse off.
Work is getting increasingly loaded as there are some viability issues which as now been passed on to me and this will involve making sure we double in size, finding and planning new buildings, staff restructring, 5 year planning and the whole works. Boss formally announced his resignation last nite and teh other person is suffering from exhaustion so continuity falls to me. As my colleagues have struggled, i have taken on more and on reflection I think the kids are not getting the best deal. I think it'll start to show at work as well.
I supposedly work part time (35 hours a week) which means that one 3 days, I can leave work between 3 and 4pm to do beat teh traffic, do the school run, take ds2 to flute/martial arts/choir and ds2 trampolining, check the homework for the week, do the laundry and cleaning mid week. i'm studying a level 7 course and weekends are for catching up on coursework, supporting the boss and my sister who's just left an abusive marriage with her 3 boys. I also get to sleep and extra couple of hours.
i need some balance and cant work out what I want anymore or how to maximise my opportunities. All I know is that I want the best for both boys. do we get a special needs nanny/pa or spech therapist who can give him some speech or teach him to use an aac device?
Help me sort my head out please. how do I get the best intervention for DS1 given the opportunities and constraints?
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Existential crisis - to keep working, go part time or quit?
13 replies
finefatmama · 07/03/2014 08:47
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Sillylass79 ·
07/03/2014 15:51
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