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Nearly 3 year old - nursery confirmed social difficulties

(4 Posts)
RainingPouring Mon 03-Mar-14 21:40:23

I have posted before about my son who is 3 in May on this thread:

In summary, he is average or above with his language and understanding and fine interacting with adults (although takes a bit of time to warm up) but struggles with socialising with other children.

We had a parents' meeting last week in which they confirmed that he had difficulties interacting with his peers, specifically the following:

- he 'wanders', not being particularly engaged in any activities just watching, not joining in.
- shows interest in other children but doesn't quite know how to join in on their level, eg. is too loud/shouty at them or for example, if they're playing with cups, he will try to give a cup to another child, trying to force it on them even if they don't want it.

These are observations I have also made myself when he is on playdates. He also has some other issues, such as a sort of compulsive lip licking (hard to describe) which he seems to do more when in situations he finds difficult, eg. socialising with other kids.

My questions are: (a) what does this mean long term - is he/will he be autistic or are there other social communication disorders he could have; and

(b)what can we do to help him. I had great advice on the other thread about how to approach this with nursery and they actually seem very on the ball which is good. Of their own accord they suggested coming up with an IEP, which we will review at the end of term. But what else can we be doing - independent therapists? ABA - but not sure that can help with peer-to-peer socialising.

To be honest, am feeling pretty down - as I mentioned on my other thread, we had loads of concerns when he was a baby which seemed to go away when he had a big leap but have now returned. I just feel like I don't know how to help him, and these problems mean his life will be more difficult.

Thanks if you've read this far - I'm sorry if I sound self-pitying, I know many people have to cope with far, far greater difficulties.

RainingPouring Tue 04-Mar-14 10:53:55


sickofsocalledexperts Tue 04-Mar-14 20:44:11

Yes ABA can work for any sort of developmental delays and /or social problems. You could try the ABA-UK yahoo group and just get some tips from a tutor. The fact that he has normal language is good, and may rule out autism (for which diagnosis there has to be language delay )

RainingPouring Wed 05-Mar-14 20:07:04

Thank you sickof. I will look up the group. I'm actually noticing more signs in him now like echolalia (eg. quoting chunks of books/audio cds) that I hadn't sort of realised were a problem, as he has excellent functional speech. I might do another post to get advice on that.

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