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School hoping Ds will disappear

(64 Posts)
Skylar123 Wed 26-Feb-14 16:00:47

Can I have some thoughts please.
I have recently applied for SA. Meeting with HT basically consisted of me being told to bog off we can't do anymore for you ( not in those words of course) but that was the jist of it. Followed by a good meeting with outside specialist who came up with a couple of more strategies for the school to use which seem great and have been implemented immediately. No cost to these ideas just a little bit of time. Also must add school have given support and Ds has 9 weekly support programs currently in place plus support for anxiety. Ds holds it together at school so no problems when actually in school with regards to behaviour, etc. The biggest problem right now is Ds school based anxiety, self esteem and low attainment.

When I spoke to ht yesterday she asked me about whether I would be moving Ds to another school (a question that keeps popping up recently) which I replied with 'no as then it just takes the issues from one sch to another and that I would like to fight for SA and see where that leads us and then think about school placements once he has his statement' (seriously high hopes I know)

Ht called me today and mentioned again about looking for another school for Ds. Also said I would not get a statement and as key stage 2 progresses it would be more difficult to get Ds to a new school so I should really do it sooner rather than later.

Why would the school be so keen to get rid of us? Without the statement they have no obligation to continue the support they are offering do they and if they think Ds will
never get a statement what are they worries about .

Can you give me some thoughts on what could be behind their thought process or is it simply a case of this child is costing us too much time and money lets get him out if we can.

OneStepForwardTwoBack Wed 26-Feb-14 16:05:13

Phone IPSEA or look at their website. I am sure others will be along with more practical advice, but they are certainly a good start.

ouryve Wed 26-Feb-14 16:12:09

If his needs can be met without a statement, in their opinion, then they have no legitimate reason to want him moved to another school. Muppets.angry

Skylar123 Wed 26-Feb-14 16:13:31

Complete muppets [ouryve]

OneStepForwardTwoBack Wed 26-Feb-14 16:15:11

Maybe ask him to confirm to you in writing that he wants you to move your child to another school, outlining his reasons?

ouryve Wed 26-Feb-14 16:15:27

In fact, I would ask them to spell out what other school they have in mind. If they suggest a special school, ask them why that is necessary if they don't think a statement is necessary. If they suggest another MS, then ask them what the other MS can provide that they can't.

MyCatIsFat Wed 26-Feb-14 16:29:37

Tell him to stop harrassing you and lying to you.

And consider whether you really want your DS to attend a school run by such a moron.

(it's all about money - if you get a Statement his school may have to find some funding towards it).

PolterGoose Wed 26-Feb-14 17:17:27

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

youarewinning Wed 26-Feb-14 17:36:31

And they could win a cuntilitre of wine !

I'm wondering if it's to do with the changes being made to SEN provision. School now have to make 'offers'. Basically a policy stating what they can provide for children with SEN. This is without a statement.

Or I do agree that perhaps he's thinking more along the lines of special school/ school with a unit? And I agree email him - with reference to meeting, confirm what he said and ask him to clarify. He cannot ignore or bullshit in email as it leaves a paper trail!

OneStepForwardTwoBack Wed 26-Feb-14 18:19:05

Poltergoose I have just choked on my coffee!!

PolterGoose Wed 26-Feb-14 18:20:51

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Skylar123 Wed 26-Feb-14 18:42:36

polter I have just got in from work and read these it! Having a good giggle to that unexpected reply of yours! smile and a cuntilitre of wine haha

I don't think they are thinking Ds needs SS as they frequently tell me he is 'fine' they told me they will support with statement request but will be telling LA that he is fine and together at school.

I think I will wait for HT or other to mention new school again and then ask them for more info on why.

HT has also refused Ds attendance to a lunchtime library club due to the teacher not being able to give enough support. Confused...what support does a child who is 'fine' need in a library club . He will sit down and read a book, he doesn't run off he doesn't not do as he is told - what the heck are they talking about? Perhaps they are just trying to piss me off so I'm trying not to bite. Ds doesn't always like playtime so this club would have given him a get out option once a week. I fail to understand why a child would need additional support when he doesn't represent any behaviour issues or challenging behaviour within school. He is actually the opposite, quiet, non confrontational child who enjoys reading as be happy in the library.

ouryve Wed 26-Feb-14 19:04:44

HT need to find a reference to the Equality Act in his inbox.

2boysnamedR Wed 26-Feb-14 19:28:57

They sounds lovely - not

They have reason for him to leave if he's fine. Sa even if refused might ask what steps school are currently taking. Sounds like not many in the right direction!

School said ds would never get a statement - I will let you know if he does on Thursday.

youarewinning Wed 26-Feb-14 19:31:51

I do have to give credit to the cuntilitre of wine to polters DS. I also snorted coffee at her reply!

StarlightMcKingsThree Wed 26-Feb-14 19:39:07


Tell the HT you will move your child IF she goes to tribunal as a witness (if SA turned down) and tells the panel that she cannot meet his needs or if statement awarded, agrees and supports in writing the changes you want.

And then keep your word.

username1234 Wed 26-Feb-14 19:41:51

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

StarlightMcKingsThree Wed 26-Feb-14 19:43:31

Skylar, It CAN become quite a tooth and nail fight to get a statement so I would advise that you do follow up the suggestion of another school in writing in an email asking him to explain the reasons and make a suggestion of what other school he is thinking of.

It is also essential that you write to him clarifying his reasons for refusing the library club.

Don't waffle on. Just bullet points.

Dear HT, Following our conversation on date/time, you said <quote>. Please clarify if I have understood incorrectly. Ta Muchly.

StarlightMcKingsThree Wed 26-Feb-14 19:44:18

What I'd like to do with a great wok!!!!

username1234 Wed 26-Feb-14 19:46:36

so many spelling mistakes, eek. sorry didn't check it before I sent!

MyCatIsFat Wed 26-Feb-14 19:49:28

Best to start a new thread with your request username1234

StarlightMcKingsThree Wed 26-Feb-14 19:49:54

What is your leaflet supposed to say?

Are you asking what services we'd like?

If so, I'd like some time with my DH as parents of children with disabilities are at a much higher chance of separation.

I'd like some respite, not to sleep or have a bath, but to get on top of my finances, or do the children's washing so my house doesn't resemble a smelly nest, or perhaps have the time to make a budget so we aren't so poor. Perhaps after that I might have a bath or sleep though.

username1234 Wed 26-Feb-14 19:52:15

Thank you :D and yeah I really have no clue what I'm writing about, the question is 'What are the needs of parents with disabled children?'. I honestly think what you do is amazing and goes so unrecognised!

StarlightMcKingsThree Wed 26-Feb-14 19:53:14

You should probably start your own thread though.

PolterGoose Wed 26-Feb-14 19:53:20

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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