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DD2 had me in stitches tonight

(24 Posts)
lougle Sun 23-Feb-14 21:47:59

DH did a Sunday roast and thought he'd be kind and make a pudding. Rice pudding. DD2 confided in me that she hates rice pudding (she's eaten it many times without complaint. I don't like it if it's too milky, but like it if it's thicker.)

So, we're at the dinner table and rice pudding comes around. I dish out portions for everyone except DD2, having told her in advance that it isn't good manners to say how much you hate something, you just politely decline it, and allaying her fear that DH wouldn't know she didn't want it and would give her some.

DH noticed DD2 didn't have any rice pudding and the following conversation ensued:

DH: You're not having rice pudding today then, DD2?
DD2 <looking meaningfully at me>:
DH: Are you full?
DD2: No....oh I actually don't want to say this because it is rude....
Me: It's ok to say you don't like something, DD2, it just isn't good manners to go on about it. She doesn't like rice pudding, DH, apparently.
DHsad confused because she's eaten it lots in the past) Oh right...why not?
DD2: Umm...well...some people like it milkier and some people like it
Me: Ok...which do you like, DD2?
DD2: the middle.
Me: Ok, so if it was in the middle, would you like it?
DD2: No.
DH & I: confused
Me: Ok, so what don't you like about it?
DD2: Well rice is in the pudding but it's something you eat at other times with other things too and that's different.
Me: Ahh you mean that we have rice with our main meals?
DD2: Yes.
DH: So is that why you don't like it?
DD2: No.
DH & I: confused
Me: Ok...I'm trying really hard to understand. What is it that you don't like about rice pudding?
DD2: The texture!
DH & I <lightbulb moment>: Ooohh the texture!
Me: Ok, what's the matter with the texture?
DD2: What is texture, anyway??

You couldn't make it up! grin

lougle Sun 23-Feb-14 21:48:51

Oh that sad face wasn't meant to be there. It was a : with a ( but I forgot to add an extra space. DH wasn't sad at any point in this conversation. grin

Ineedmorepatience Sun 23-Feb-14 22:12:45

Brilliant grin Back to normal in the lougle household then grin

youarewinning Mon 24-Feb-14 07:16:01

Bless her grin

It's a funny conversation but you can almost hear the anxiety in her words that she doesn't actually know what to say or is worried about saying the wrong thing. I often have to say to Ds that it's ok to have an opinion. He just needs to be careful it's an opinion not an order.

Although his standard answer to why he doesn't like something is 'because I don't!'

Ineedmorepatience Mon 24-Feb-14 07:51:26

Thats what Dd3 says either "because I do" or "because I dont", oh and not forgetting "because I want to" grin

streakybacon Mon 24-Feb-14 08:04:28


PolterGoose Mon 24-Feb-14 08:10:17

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

KeepOnKeepingOn1 Mon 24-Feb-14 09:06:44


DS2 doesn't attempt to give explanations - he just says 'I am I and I choose not to'. He just doesn't get that he doesn't always have the power to choose - like in the classroom. I think this is what is meant by not recognising authority (as opposed to defiant rule breaking as a challenge to authority).

Dd2 sounds more like DS1 who can combine an almost shocking lack of empathy with what seems like painful sensitivity because he seems to care too much. What ds1 always seems to care about is whether somebody will be cross with him. I think it is a learned response because the reality for most of his life was that adults were cross with him because they thought that he was rude,

lougle Mon 24-Feb-14 09:24:07


Spot on, Keep - she knows that she puts her foot in it because she's done it so often, but she doesn't know which bit is rude or what 'rude' is, so she's frightened to say anything at all!

I'm trying to react less when she is breathtakingly rude tactless and instead of crying gently explaining afterwards why it might be seen as rude.

PolterGoose Mon 24-Feb-14 09:48:24

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

NewBlueCoat Mon 24-Feb-14 10:32:11

Lougle, did you have my dd2 round for lunch?! Once again, I could easily picture my dd2 saying he exact same words, and having the exact same worries.

lougle Mon 24-Feb-14 10:34:07

Scary, isn't it, Newblue? grin

Polter, it's so true. It's a real tightrope.

The bizarre thing is that after all of that, after everyone else had finished pudding, DD2 said 'can I have some?'


KeepOnKeepingOn1 Mon 24-Feb-14 11:37:27

Polter - I am still waiting for my inner voice to kick in smile

The mother of one of DS2's classmates was parking at pick-up time and said hello and asked if her parking was OK. I actually looked and then said 'Well, I've seen better'. Luckily DH was there too and rescued the situation as she was genuinely offended by my honesty.

I also have to say things that I find amusing. Another mother was chatting about her friend's toddler and his aversion to buttons on clothing. I asked her 'is he Amish?' She didn't get it. grinconfused

Other mothers have learned to avoid me as they find me rather disturbing smile

PolterGoose Mon 24-Feb-14 11:52:04

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

zzzzz Mon 24-Feb-14 12:25:38

"Other mothers have learned to avoid me as they find me rather disturbing "

grin grin grin grin grin grin

youarewinning Mon 24-Feb-14 16:31:43

keep grin I posted the other week about when I got my whiplash injury my collegue picked ds up and bought him home. She reversed into the drive. "Thank you for the lift" would have been an appropriate thing for Ds to say, but no, he said....

"Not a bad bit of parking" blush

youarewinning Mon 24-Feb-14 16:33:48

polter thank you you explained what I was trying to say DS has trouble with better than I did.

lougle Mon 24-Feb-14 20:15:58

You're all brilliant smile

I think I'm getting a bit better as I'm getting older, possibly, but I am known for my bluntness blush

I just can't be doing with all that skirting around an issue. It drives me nuts.

Ineedmorepatience Mon 24-Feb-14 20:38:46

Must be why we all get each other grin

youarewinning Mon 24-Feb-14 20:50:32

lougle I don't like to think of myself as direct. More a busy person who doesn't have time to beat about the bush grin

lougle Mon 24-Feb-14 21:02:04


I had a funny conversation in a shopping precinct on Saturday:

<Approaches mid-precinct beauty booth on impulse. The booth is run by a very heavily accented lady ?ethnicity (just because I'm terrible at identifying)>

Me: How long does your eyebrow threading take?
Her: 5 pounds.
Me: <gesticulating wildly> No, how looong does it take?
Her: Ahhh. 5 minutes.
Me: <get the subtlety> What, even for my eyebrows that haven't been tamed in ages??
Her: 5 minutes. Normally, 2 minutes. For yours, 5 minutes!
<I fall about laughing>
Me: Ok...does it hurt?
Her: No!
Me: You're lying, aren't you?
Her: <grins> Noooo....feeels just....leetle razor blades...sting more....eyes water, but fine.
Me: Hmmm....ok, go on then.

Subtle as a brick.

I should have said 'Oooh I fear I have neglected my eyebrows of late. Will it take longer than usual?' and 'Are you sure it doesn't hurt?'

Instead, I say 'what, even these caterpillars?' and 'you're lying...'


StarlightMcKingsThree Tue 25-Feb-14 09:18:41

I'm not blunt in real life. I skirt all over the place. Best you lot know me mostly on here where my grammar, typing skills and time limit my fluff.

StarlightMcKingsThree Tue 25-Feb-14 09:19:33

You asked someone if they were lying? shock grin

lougle Tue 25-Feb-14 09:22:41

I told her she was. blush

To be fair, it was pretty obviously going to hurt - my eyebrow hairs were going to be forcibly pulled from my skin grin

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